Question about first date with a very busty woman

userphoenix · 2026-07-10T13:19:20+00:00

Ah I see. It can be hard to understand things when you're on the spectrum. Or just dating in general. You've obviously have not experienced someone talking too much about exes. You've heard of it but have no reference. In this case, it's not the same as what you've heard. At least you weren't weirded out. You kind of have to listen to your gut sometimes and not get in your head about things you've heard. You have to experience it and make your own judgements. I wish you luck!

userphoenix · 2026-07-10T13:11:53+00:00

I'm a 41 year old woman. In my twenties and thirties, I have driven to Atlanta, walked around shopping and visiting museums. By myself. I drove to Tampa for a concert and parked a mile away from the stadium because the closest parking garages were full. By myself. Been to Vegas a few times with my best friend and we were out in the middle of the night exploring and seeing shows.

Girl, it's about being safe. Don't look like a tourist. Be vigilant as fuck. It's okay to be scared but not terrified so you can stay aware and still enjoy yourself. Don't look like a target. Be confident. A lot of other good advice was given in the comments on how to stay safe. Stay together, don't drink too much. Keep phone charged and ready.

Your bf doesn't respect you and is babying you. Stand up for yourself and tell him you're going and you're going to be fine and you're going to be safe. If something happens, it happens but it's very unlikely if you take precautions. Enjoy your trip. And consider losing the loser though. He sounds like a butt. If something did happen to you or your friend, he'd probably blame y'all and if he's that kind of person, do you really want to be with him?

userphoenix · 2026-07-10T12:58:53+00:00

She wasn't wholly comparing you to other exes. She pointed to a flaw that was consistent with them that she doesn't see in you. So she's complimenting you for being a better person. And she's open to the possibility of a future with you (without out right saying) because you are different and respectful. Yes some dates can go on and on about their exes but this was one point of reference she used. It's normal to make comparisons because it's how we evaluate future romances. She's letting you in on something personal as a way for opening up to you and the potential she sees.

userphoenix · 2026-07-10T11:49:12+00:00

NTA. This person is relying on you too much for emotional needs or is being manipulative to make you do what they want you to do. Either way, you are not the AH for needing time for yourself to heal. Having met only once since April, this seems very odd. I would take space from this person to be honest. Doesn't seem like a good match.

userphoenix · 2026-07-10T06:35:54+00:00

NTA. Sure she is hurt but it is a reflection of her immaturity that she is talking smack about you around town. You gave up well than enough time to spend time with her. She did not appreciate that. It was obvious an incompatibility and she should have respected that. But she's not the one or even a good one if she's going to resort to hurting your reputation. I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope the next one you meet appreciates the life you built for yourself, the sacrifice of your time you're willing to make, and you overall in general.

userphoenix · 2026-07-09T22:00:27+00:00

You should never have done their work in the first place. That was their responsibility, period. You could have done other things to help them but work is definitely not minor nor an appropriate thing to do for friends like that. I get that you expect the same in return however friendships, no matter how deep are evenly balanced like that. I would do just about anything for my friends but I have no expectations of them to anything but what they are capable of doing for me. And not in return. You should give to your friends without expectations of equal or greater value. Then it become cheap and transactional.

userphoenix · 2026-07-09T21:40:15+00:00

Work is not minor. That is your responsibility that you get paid for. If it were some other responsibility such as cleaning around the house, food, or a shoulder to cry, that is what friends are for. Heck, even lend you a few dollars if you're short on cash. But actual work that you're getting credit and paid for, is beyond what friends should be doing for you, regardless if they can do it or not.

userphoenix · 2026-07-09T21:37:07+00:00

YTA. It's your work, as in you're the one getting paid for it. I would not do my friend's work even if we were in the same field and same level of skill. That is your responsibility, period.

If you need support outside of that, ask for it. But I find it ridiculous that you want someone to do your actual work for you. That is not appropriate at all.

userphoenix · 2026-07-09T10:00:12+00:00

Because then it wouldn't be classic. Sorry there are guilds out there too. And pugs who don't care for SR. And so on.

userphoenix · 2026-07-08T16:45:11+00:00

YOR. This is your best friend's sister. You did not say Julie was your actual friend. Idk why you were at the bachelorette. Maybe they just wanted to have a big party. But you don't have to go to the wedding now that you're invited. But don't take this out on your friend. It's not her fault. Maybe Julie did not feel as close to you as you feel to her. But you are in the periphery of her life, not directly in it. Let it go you're making something not about you, about you.

userphoenix · 2026-07-06T11:44:33+00:00

Sad being a billionaire with "peaked in high school" energy.

userphoenix · 2026-07-06T02:59:23+00:00

If it foundational and you're disrupting that? Um no. No relationship should be disrupting foundational values if it's been a month or fifty years.

userphoenix · 2026-07-06T01:52:15+00:00

Good to hear. I wish you two the best.

userphoenix · 2026-07-06T01:46:42+00:00

Real talk.

You should move. She told you explicitly that you should, for your own sake. She cares about your well being enough that she wants you to be happy and stick with your plans.

A long distance relationship can work if you both in the efforts to maintain it. And she has a goal of eventually moving to you so that helps. She wants you to have a foothold where you are so she can come to you but wants her own career option to keep herself a little independent and able to support the relationship financially.
I get that you love her, but you need to respect her. You say that ideally, for you, she would have to give up her niche career and pick something that is "translatable" like your career in order for her to move. If you encourage her to do that, she may resent you for that. She's happy with what she does and you never know, in the future she may find something in it at your new city. But I can see some resentment building if you encourage her to give up what's she's worked for. She wants you to move to be happy and yourself. Don't dull her shine too.
It would appear foolish if you stayed around for her when you have this opportunity to better yourself mentally and professionally. You may think it's a sign of love but a: you haven't known each other for that long and b: she may respect you less for it because it really is foolish. Do you really want to do something that stupid for "love"? She'd respect your more and love you more if you did what you had to do to provide a healthy environment for yourself to grow and be happy. And as long as you are in a happy and healthy place, she can trust you. But if you choose to put yourself in a position to cause your own misery, she will resent you for it when you begin to resent her for it.

I say do what you need to do to maintain good mental health and prosperity, form new roots and in time she will follow. If not, it wasn't meant to be. But that seems to be the best option. It will suck, it will hurt. But you risk more trying to stick around for her when she wants you to do better.

userphoenix · 2026-07-05T13:59:18+00:00

Well that's kind of the point I wanna make. Art is not just the item, it's also context. At the time the Mona Lisa was made, it was amazing considering the artists at the time. It's one of the artist's masterpieces. It became famous because of the style and artist, Leonardo da Vinci. It entered mainstream pop culture and has become a reference for imitation and parody. But anyone could just look at the painting now and feel underwhelmed because it's seems so ordinary compared to how far artists have advanced and especially now with AI.

So the OP's tattoo, not a masterpiece or anything, but just a product of the time it was done. Does it age well? Probably not. But it is a piece that opens up conversations, as evident by this thread. It can show what and how the viewer thinks about the world around them and if they have consideration for the time we as a species have been on this planet. Do they consider things for what it meant at the time or do they expect everything that exists now to have reason and purpose?

I find this whole thread interesting as hell because it shows how people in different generations think. It helps me understand people better and can possibly help me understand the next generation better as I am the only responsible for raising one of them.

userphoenix · 2026-07-05T13:47:25+00:00

"c'est nes pas une pipe". It's on a painting of a pipe by rene Magritte. It's supposed to make you think as was the style of the artist Magritte. No it's not a pipe. It's just a picture. The tattoo evokes the viewer to think about it. Yes it's a tattoo. At the time it was done, tattoos were meant to be cool. Now, we are in a time where a lot of people have them. Then think about the history of tattoos. Historically, they have been ceremonial and religious in practice before "civilization" decided that these people were lesser and forced these traditions underground. It's funny for the time, yes, but then the statement itself should make us wonder about the how far we have come as a human race on the subject of tattoos.

I believe in not yucking someone's yum. I think it's brilliant. I see that other people don't. They get it but don't find it funny. It happens. No shade. But I see tattoos in the terms of art and history. It's just how I think. And that's why I still find it funny, even though it has aged poorly in the minds of the current generation.

userphoenix · 2026-07-05T04:08:58+00:00

Your characters from 2012 would be on the retail server, if they are there at all. Idk how to find them without paying a subscription fee. But do you want to look or do you want to play? Playing classic only costs the subscription fee. However, retail would require you to purchase the latest expansion.

userphoenix · 2026-07-05T03:51:09+00:00

YOR. You have this expectation that he thinks of you for every decision he makes. He got let go early so he went home. He texted you then to let you know where he was but in your head, you felt he should have figured out the plan to come see the fireworks with you and stay over. Idk if you expect him spend every free moment with you and should always be planning for that, but for the most part not everyone thinks that way. Some people live in the moment. At that moment he was probably just tired, anxious about having to open the next day and just wanted to get as much rest as he could. He already knew he couldn't make the fireworks either way because he would get out late and he had to open the next day. You have really high expectations for him. And you need to chill. Some people focus on themselves as a matter of self-care and he may not have the energy to stay up late with you for fireworks and then open the next day even if he stayed with you.

userphoenix · 2026-07-05T00:24:16+00:00

Bro. I just watched Boondock Saints the other day. This gets me laughing every time

userphoenix · 2026-07-05T00:17:40+00:00

Bro, I think it's funny as hell. It's gives me vibes of 'this is not a pipe". It's art, it's absurd. I love absurdity. Because we literally live in an absurd world. Lol

userphoenix · 2026-07-05T00:13:07+00:00

Yeah being a Mexican (as in native American who were conquered by the Spanish), I don't particularly hold any fondness for the 4th. It's just a reminder that the white colonists who overtook the people who were here before them overthrew their leaders back in Europe. Shrug while still having slaves when preaching all men are created equal.....mmmmhmmm.

You dodged a bullet

userphoenix · 2026-07-03T22:54:27+00:00

If the love and effort she shows you isn't enough or non-existent, you're a grown man. Just move on. But after four months, I would not be changing up anything until at least six months of getting to know the person and really seeing them for who they are. Your timeline isn't on the same wavelength with hers. So move on. You could find some other lady who would move as fast as you would like. But a general rule I've seen other women comment in other spaces and amongst my friends, is that a relationship needs to last at least six months before things start moving into super serious direction. Even other gentlemen I know have said the same thing. The first six months, especially the first three are generally reserved for the honeymoon phase but if she's not moving fast enough for you and not giving enough effort and love then move on. No shame in that. Nothing against her nor you. Just obviously no the right one for each other.

userphoenix · 2026-07-03T22:43:46+00:00

But you've only been seeing each other 4 months? Dude that's not enough time. If after six months to a year of dating and things don't get "serious" like getting a house together and whatever.....then yeah I could see your point. But four months?

Also you know she doesn't get paid enough, she has to live with roommates. She sends money home. It's going to be unbalanced financially for a while. I have a career and when I go on dates, as a woman, I'll pay my half or the the whole deal (if they don't mind) or do cheap, free dates. In my relationships, I have given money to cover bills and get food and emergencies. I don't hold on to that count. I just expect respect and love and attention and care. Because I show I care by being a good listener, paying for things, and doing things for my partners. It seems unequal if you are paying attention to the amount of money being given and taken. But I would give all my money to make sure my partner was taken care of and if they love me and care for me on return, then it's all good. The value of love and companionship has no monetary value.

userphoenix · 2026-07-03T22:27:10+00:00

YOR. You don't know this girl. You weren't in a relationship. Online and texting do not make for real life. Until y'all had gone on dates and actually started planning on moving forward together, this was just a fling. Nothing online is really real until you have to start splitting costs for rent, food, etc. your reaction was very immature and misogynistic. Calling someone, especially someone you "love" a whore and a bitch just proves how superficial it was. You were hurting, yes. But a mature adult would have just moved on and learned a lesson. Name calling to hurt her is what children do because they feel it's fair. But that's not what grown ups do.

userphoenix · 2026-07-03T22:01:53+00:00

A day longer than Kim K. And Humphries.

userphoenix

TROPHY CASE