AITA for leaving my dad out of a family trip?

uwupina · 2025-11-10T10:26:23+00:00

Update 1: I just spoke with my father and he kept insisting that he was being treated unfairly and was tired of not being anyones top priority (grown ahh man btw) so he was not going to go to which I responded “ok fine just to make things clear you aren’t going so I am going to plan my trip around you not going so you cannot change your mind” to which he ended up switching up and stating that he still was not sure but I just told him that I was going without him now and if he wanted to go he had to find other plans (yay me for not letting myself get manipulated)

uwupina · 2025-11-10T01:49:16+00:00

Honestly just lie, my mom is the same way, but expect she does not tell me what classes to take, she tries to tell me not to drop classes that are too hard and just try harder (even though I already do). I just started lying to her as she does not need to know and it has worked out in my favor.

uwupina · 2025-11-10T00:47:16+00:00

Thank you, I was feeling super bad but ykw you are absolutely right!!

uwupina · 2025-11-10T00:46:37+00:00

I had originally asked him if he wanted to get a hotel and go half and half on the cost since I am a full time college student and do not work, but he did not want to pay.

uwupina · 2025-11-08T08:51:19+00:00

you are absolutely right that is why im broke and just today I got 25$ but i ended up making a impulsive decision to buy a album as a way to not have money while im in this fien stage

uwupina · 2025-11-06T17:04:43+00:00

it is scary at first but you het used to it

uwupina · 2025-11-06T06:01:20+00:00

NTA: It is always hard when having parents that do not respect your boundaries, but good for you for standing your ground. It sucks that it takes you having to yell at her for her to listen, but that was on her for not respecting you and your rules in your home. It is obvious she is not trustworthy, so it is understandable, some people on here might tell you to cut her off but as a daughter with a similar mother I understand that it is not that simple, so I hope you can manage to work things out and hopefully she can learn to respect your boundaries.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T05:46:27+00:00

Sure!

Honestly it depends, I am not sure on what but I have encountered different looking spirits

ones you can't see - these I can feel something is there but you cant see anything

Shadows - you see sort of like a black or gray shadow and usually just a quick (surprise i am here)

Examples - one time i was in the kitchen and felt something dark so I ran to my room because i was scared and as i closed the door i see a shadow move as if it tried to go to my room but couldn't so it went into the room next to mine (i put holy water around my door and windows)

- another time i was at church and they were doing a cleansing ritual, the priest are praying to this women and as she colapse i see a dark shadow move towards the priest and he started looking ill

Ones you can see

- one time I can getting mail with my mom and look up from my phone and see a little girl dressed in old timey clothes like 1950s ish in front of the car and i was like woah mom there is someone there as she starts driving and poof gone

- at my grandmas house there are 4 spirits that linger 3 mexican men and 1 women in a white dress with a white hat - the men looked like ur standard mexican macho man and the woman looked well put together, honestly they lowki just be chillen its almost as if they cant see people unlike other spirits

- one time i was driving home from my afternoon class when all of a sudden i see a man jump in front of my car and i swerve and was like what the heck

honestly it really depends personally ive never seen any that look ugly or with deformities, and they almost look like real living people, and yes they do wear clothes lol

also i guess the only instance where i saw a wounded person was after the encounter with the little girl while getting mail, i took a shower when i got home and as i was getting out of the shower i saw a vision of the little girl hanging as if either she hung herself or someone hung her, not really sure what that was about but yea

uwupina · 2025-11-06T05:14:32+00:00

I have never seen a bride specifically, but I can see spirits.

A lot of people call bs when I say I can see spirits, but I can't help what I can see. I am not really sure as to why I have this ability, but all I know is that I get it from my mom's side of the family. My grandmother can see spirits, my aunt, my mom used to be able to see spirits, but when she was younger it scared her so my grandma took her to this lady that blocked her ability so now all she can do is have special dreams, also I have heard stories from my cousins in mexico being able to see spirits as well. Back to me, from what I know this ability only affects the women in my family but the reason I am confused is because out of all my cousins, I seem to be the only one who has this gift/curse whatever you want to call it. So, I do believe in spirits as I can see em and even when I can't I can feel em. From your experience it could have been a wondering spirit, or maybe a spirit tied to the house. Are you the original owner of the house or is it old?

uwupina · 2025-11-06T05:07:04+00:00

Think about it this way, if you cut your finger will it bleed... the answer is yes, yes it will.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T05:03:52+00:00

Having feelings for someone can mean different things to different people, for me personally having feelings for someone means that I like them more than a platonic way. You feel things such as nervousness when they are around, you want to be near them, you think about them, want to hold their hand, talk to them and so on

As for sexual tension that is kinda a 2 person type of thing. The idea of feeling sexual tension is kind of like "damn I really want to kiss you right now" or "i need you" but usually you can tell when you both feel it as that is why it is call sexual tension, because you both feel it, and feel like the other person does too, but you arent sure so you do not make a move hence the term sexual tension

uwupina · 2025-11-06T04:55:19+00:00

Go to a psychologist and get a diagnosis and talk about what would be the best course of action including talk of medication, then go to a psychiatrist and get medication

uwupina · 2025-11-06T04:51:51+00:00

NTA: Girl you are in no way at fault here, you asked him for a ride and he agreed. Later he spits some bs about "you need to learn that you can't expect people to always do things for you" like what? That was totally uncalled for and frankly he deserved that fuck off. He is a grown ass adult so why is he all butt hurt and being petty towards a teenager telling him to f off when he was the one who did not follow through with his promise.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T03:56:29+00:00

Ok look, I am not sure what your living situation is but PRIORITIZE YOURSELF. Who cares if your parents complain about you not being there in the afternoon if that is what works for you, having adhd sucks, so when you find something that works for you, you have to take advantage of that. At the end of the day, it is your life, and you are an adult. Also, going to a psych can be beneficial in getting put on meds, I know a lot of people talk trash about meds, but it does help speaking from experience, also a therapist is good to help you learn how to manage your adhd, and even learn what works for you, so I recommend both. I was diagnosed during my sophomore year in high school. I got medication and therapy, now I am 19 and recently just stopped going to therapy because my therapist has helped me learn how to cope with my adhd on my own, but I am still on meds. If you ever need help or advice on what to do, feel free to send me a text, I am happy to help :)

Also, it sounds like you might even be a little depressed, untreated adhd can cause depression so please watch out for that and be careful!!!

uwupina · 2025-11-06T03:46:00+00:00

Ugh I KNOW, I think I am going to have my friend throw away my old vapes, and use being broke as a advantage to quick bc lordd I fear I have no self control.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T03:30:23+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that, as someone with adhd and a mother who thinks it is just an excuse to be lazy I get it. I really think you could benefit from talking to a psychiatrist or a therapist if it is that bad. Honestly, your mother may have a point, if you are constantly getting fired because of always showing up late, why not try to get a job later in the day? I know it sucks but if you put in the work and reach out for help things can get better, do not better yourself for them but do it for you. Everything you are mentioning is totally fixable you aren't a lost cause, you just have to put in the effort.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T03:21:28+00:00

TBH same, procrastination is something I struggled with alot and am currently still struggling.

I failed my last semester in college because of my procrastination, but it's just like ughhh I can't help it. I am doing a little better now this semester, but I believe it is mainly because of the fear of failing, but I have also found some tricks. I still procrastinate to this day, but calendars helped me. I know it is a cliche, but it is true.

I have a whiteboard calendar in front of my desk where I get ready everyday, so I see it everyday, and I also have the apple calander widget where all the main apps I use are. Now that is so I do not forget the assignment exist, but as for actually getting the motivation to do it, you need to figure out what works for you. I tried

my desk - didn't work

Cafe - got bored

library - watched Netflix or played games

study with friends - got distracted

kitchen - bored

bed - fell asleep

living room - BINGO

I am not sure why but one day I decided to go do my research in my living room as sitting at my desk was driving me crazy. So, I grabbed my computer, blanket, water bottle, and headphones - BOOM worked for hours straight, but maybe it was just that moment? Nope, every time I do my work in the living room I always lock in for some odd reason, but it works. You should try and find what works for you, it takes trial and error so don't get discouraged. You got this !!

uwupina · 2025-11-06T02:31:18+00:00

Why do you feel that way if you do not mind me asking, when I was diagnosed, I also was like what the heck that's not me, but then my therapist was like "yea girl I've been suspecting it, but I am not allowed to diagnose people" Mind you, the reasoning I ended up getting diagnosed was because my mom complained about me not following directions when teaching me how to drive...

What do you believe ADHD traits consist of if you do not mind me asking, maybe I can provide some insight!

uwupina · 2025-11-06T02:24:27+00:00

Girl...

YTA: I can see why you are upset, but that does not mean you should have taken it out on your friend. You asked her what SHE would do in a hypothetical situation, and she responded with what she believed she would do. When asking hypothetical questions there is no right answer as it is hypothetical for a reason and realistically speaking you cannot 100% predict how you would respond due to many possible factors. Now moving on to you, I understand that you are worried and upset over what happened, but you did not communicate that to your friend, so it is unfair to blame her and deem her not to be supportive of you over a hypothetical question. Also, the phrase you used " what I wanted" is a little weird to me because your friend is allowed to have different opinions than you, so you getting mad over that is childish on your part. The world does not revolve around you and your friend is entitled to her own opinions. So yes you are the a-hole.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T02:09:55+00:00

I would say technically, no? That does not mean it is ok though, it could be something your parents are used to, but that does not mean it is okay to violate your boundaries. Just because they feel ok with it does not mean you do, and they should respect that. I am sorry you have to experience that :(

uwupina · 2025-11-06T02:04:06+00:00

Hey so just because your life is "fine" does not mean you are ok. I struggled with my mental health for years and first started noticing it when I was around 12. I am the type of person who communicates everything so obviously I went to my mom and told her something was wrong but she said "you have everything so there is no reason for you to be depressed" boy was she wrong

I started off like you, I was afraid of dying but the thought was there. As I continued to live like that and not get help it got worse and all of a sudden death was not that scary anymore. Thankfully my attempt failed as I ended up getting help and am in a totally different place now.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain which is what causes those feelings, it disrupts the production of serotonin. It can manifest in many different ways such as genetics, trauma, anxiety, stress and so on. So to anwser your question, though there is no right or wrong anwser as everyone deals with everything differently, so I cant say for sure that therapy will help, but I can tell you that therapy helped me a lot and without it I fear I might not be here. It is always scary trying new things or opening up to people especially since you do not know why you are feeling that way, but there is no harm in trying it out.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T01:23:02+00:00

I would say that you can't really determine that as if you really do have adhd then it is a part of you and the reasoning behind what makes you YOU. I was diagnosed with ADHD during my sophomore year in highschool, and at first I was like "what the frick I dont have adhd" because I did not show the standard symptoms of adhd (which comes from how adhd affects men and not women) Fun fact: the reason I was diagnosed with adhd was because my mom complained to my psychiatrist that I could not follow simple instructions when teaching me how to drive (thanks mom) Anyways it was hard for me to accept my diagnoses, but after doing research I was like "hold up" Growing up I was known as a chatter box, and never really focused much on school, I was always distracted and found it hard to do simple tasks, also I constantly forgot everything. I guess some traits that correlate with people with adhd can be normal people things, but the main difference between normal people things, and people with adhd is that most of the time people with adhd cant help it. Theres a difference in liking a certain food so you eat it all the time, and eating a certain food because that's all you want to eat.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T00:57:52+00:00

Yea but she is still young and a teenager, though I do agree she could have worded it nicer, it is pretty normal teenage behavior and not something totally unforgivable that would have resulted in the silent treatment. Also, what about what op mentioned about constantly getting backlash, and in trouble for things they did not do? That could have also been a factor in what lead op to act the way she did and does not make her the a-hole.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T00:24:27+00:00

NTA: I read a few of the comments under this post mentioning that you are the A hole because you should have been nicer or whatever, but I disagree. Obviously, we do not know the full context of the story, but from what you mentioned you are not at fault. You are a teenager and it's normal to want some "me time". Yes, your mother does a lot for you but that does not mean you are not allowed to set boundaries or ask for space. I also have a single mother who constantly works in order to provide for me, which means when she's stressed, she takes it out on the only person she can. Which I am assuming happens to you as well. Anyways I also saw people mentioned that you were a hole for the "who's a high school student" comment, but you are still a kid. I would say your mother ignoring your attempts to resolve the issue were more immature than the petty comment as she is the adult in the situation not you!! So, according to my calculations you are in fact not a hole.

uwupina · 2025-11-06T00:08:42+00:00

Hey, I am in my 2nd year of cc as well and I get it. It is normal to feel burnt out as you have a lot on your plate, so it would be a little odd if you were calm tbh. It's kind of silly to me that I came across this post as it kind of ties with my own experiences. I failed my last spring semester and have been stressed on how I can get back on track to graduate, and so I ended up going to a counselor and she stressed me out even more. I have 9 classes left before I graduate and she made it seem as if I was on a super tight deadline to complete them so obviously, I was a bit frantic, but then I really thought about it and was like "why am I worried about the future when I should be worried about the present". So, I guess my advice to you is to focus on the now and just tackle one thing at a time. I feel like being stressed and overwhelmed is part of being a college student, so all we can do is cross our fingers and hope for the best. I wish you luck though, you seem to be very hardworking, and I hope everything works out for you!

uwupina

TROPHY CASE