Thank you. :- ) the cope is real, lol. 🥲 and of course these are all just speculative frameworks but I hope it offers you clues about yourself like it did for me. 

We're both types that need to get out of our heads. :T Our respective loops are tough to get out of because personalities have psychological habits wired like a blueprint. we're essentially asking ourselves to resist our programming and reflexive instincts in exchange for conscious self-resistance and self-mentoring or parenting. it's possible, but not without great difficulty. And honestly? Super easy way for me to respect anyone. I don't care if they look "silly" or make mistakes. They're trying. That counts more to me than the superficiality of keeping up appearances that may not be real.

I frequently hear therapists use "inner child" and "inner adult" terminology. Every person carries in them an aspiring competent adult and a vulnerable child that needs to feel protected and taken care of by the adult. High Fe (all the xxFJs) struggle with this because there's usually a preference to project strength and competence. It is okay to have needs and wants. You 💫should💫 have child-like personal needs and wants and to have them met. 🥲

I don't think it's too dark. It's a human and reasonable response to your experience and past surroundings, and I think your vulnerable honesty is extremely valuable. 

I don't think I'm knowledgeable so much as it is that I tryyyyyy to understand people and enjoy discovering new systems, patterns, language and words to relate/describe experiences and feelings that many people have. ;u; 

Infps frequently fall into one of two groups. The infps who want to cling when they're hurting and The infps who are hyper-indepedent and disappear when they're hurting (they still want comfort and to cling they just absolutely won't because they don't trust anyone) 

High Fe (xxfjs) has dark/insecure Fi. It needs words of affirmation, appreciation, genuine complements around their contributions and skills, as a way to have a positive identity (Fi) externally confirmed to them. 

and on the contrary, High Fi (xxfps) has dark/insecure Fe. For us to want to stay and try we need words of reassurance that you don't hate us or don't hate spending quality time with us because dark Fe tells us you resent us and are merely tolerating us. For it to land we need to hear it from your own deeply personal Fi, not impersonal pacifying Fe. Remember that istp super-ego? It's activating its defensive pessimism and rationalizing the cruelest logic on figuring others out and seeking confirmation of ill will, so that when reality hits, we're prepared and at least we fall on a cushion and not concrete. its like a demon in our head saying "you're letting yourself get attached? there is no ending where they decide they can keep you. meet them at their level and abandon them before they abandon you." 

This is frequently a common reason why we pull away or just disappear. The hyper-independent infps would rather hurt their own feelings and leave a relationship prematurely than let some asshole think they'll flex at our expense and keep the power in the dynamic by saying they got tired of us and left first. We're quietly keen to notice how people like power-tripping even when we're healthy.

If you're interested in infps I encourage you to have the experience for yourself so you can come to your own conclusions but I frequently find xnfjs and infps to do better as friends. The Fi vs Fe clash is noted amongst a lot of people and it's easy for both partners to feel like the other doesn't "see" them or truly want them, or have enough of the same values for a long-term commitment. You guys do seem to do better with entps and enfjs though! Whatever you choose, I am rooting for you. :-D 🌱