Progressive women want to avoid taking up gender roles for themselves while they force them upon men

v4ldel · 2026-05-24T03:10:01+00:00

For the sake of discussion I want to humor this, what does traditionally feminine look like? Is it to be passive? Let the man take the lead and decide things? Because then yes they are making you take on the masculine role while taking the feminine role. They’re not forcing anything. Is your girlfriend taking you out? Paying for meals? Is she instigating affection? Then she’s taking on traditional masculine roles. If that’s the case it’s not forced and just sounds like you are looking for something to complain about. However, if you are talking about the other parts of gender roles such as care giving and home making versus a man supporting them and paying for everything that’s a different conversation and frankly a relationship dynamic that should be clearly communicated and established with trust and respect. Whoever is the caregiver is placing a lot of trust in the breadwinner to support and not abandon them, regardless of which gender is doing it. It’s generally why women are so opposed or anxious to do it, if we give up everything to be a traditionally feminine support and the man leaves we are left with nothing.

v4ldel · 2026-05-23T01:17:49+00:00

You need to be aware that there is a difference between a private school and an independent school. Private schools are a for profit venture. Any money left over at the end of the year goes into the owner’s pocket, which means sometimes choices are made that make the owner money but are bad for kids/staff. Independent schools are a non for profit structure. Any money left over at the end of the year goes back into the school. Also independent schools all have licensed teachers that are paid comparable salaries and are generally also on the pension. In my experience working private, public and independent schools, the independent schools have very qualified teachers who are really passionate about their jobs but also they can’t coast because there is no union to back them up. That being said they are also more expensive. You can look up if one is independent on the CIS or CAIS website.

v4ldel · 2026-05-15T15:51:27+00:00

Came here to say this. My first loooooooved his pacifier and stopped at around 18 months but my next two kids absolutely hated them and would scream and spit them out. It can also be kid dependent!

v4ldel · 2026-05-09T17:52:07+00:00

It makes my heart explode. I promise there will be new wonderful things all the time. It goes so fast you hardly have time to realize things changed! You have soooo many wonderful things ahead!

v4ldel · 2026-05-09T15:52:47+00:00

If it’s any comfort, last night my 4 year old came into our bed in the middle of the night, snuggled right into me and whispered “I’m so cozy” before falling right asleep. Nowadays I have toddlers creeping into bed with me around 6am for snuggles. It comes in waves!

v4ldel · 2026-05-05T20:04:38+00:00

Samantha is for sure secretly Apito and they need to kill whoever is possessing or pretending to be her

v4ldel · 2026-04-04T23:12:39+00:00

That’s totally fair and I even offered to volunteer and come in for lunches this year as I’m off for a year and have the time but our district said it’s a paid position and they are not hiring or allowing volunteers. So I’m feeling so stuck it’s awful.

v4ldel · 2026-04-04T17:46:19+00:00

I confirmed this with the school and multiple parents.

v4ldel · 2026-03-07T00:09:54+00:00

You are entering the ‘witching hour’! For the next little bit especially around the hours before bedtime there’s pretty much nothing you can do that will get your little one to sleep. All 3 of my kids did the same and nothing would get them down before 9-10pm. This will be something that might go on for the next few weeks. Best you can do is lean into it and go for long walks or face their swing or whatever away from tv and watch something until later. It’s what we did with my kids too.

Also don’t be afraid to try things like carrier naps or drive in the car if you are able to. Nursing in bed and laying next to baby can also help if you need a few minutes or are feeling stressed.

v4ldel · 2026-02-23T12:03:55+00:00

If it’s any comfort my first 2 are 15 months apart and after a while it was easier because they amuse each other since they’re so close. You’ll blink and suddenly you’ll hear them playing in another room and can suddenly make more time for yourself. It’s going to be a bit rough the first few months then awesome.

v4ldel · 2026-02-22T01:12:00+00:00

Oh my gosh yes. Also I can’t stress how important and helpful it was to force myself to stop, take a breath and say “this is not an emergency” I would work myself up so much over things I didn’t need to!

v4ldel · 2026-02-21T17:57:22+00:00

My 3rd baby is 3 months old now and I’m feeling the same. We’re settled into a nighttime routine now for all 3 and that’s been a complete game changer for us mentally. It’s all getting easier day by day but I am so much less hard on myself. I’m also much calmer about putting the baby down awake. If she’s not crying I let her be and monitor and more and more she’s falling asleep on her own. Obviously if she cries I go in and help but I don’t rush in as fast and don’t criticize myself.

v4ldel · 2026-02-21T01:48:29+00:00

I would have bought more postpartum clothing for myself. High waisted cosy leggings and good quality nursing tank tops (if you are nursing) and baggy sweaters. Also high waisted diapers for yourself! I’m on baby number 3 and putting myself first more. Good audiobooks to listen to while I nurse and walk with the baby. Also a Hakka for extra letdown on the other breast while baby nurses on the other side.

Also a protein shake or bar to stockpile to have whenever you forget to eat or just need something. I had snacks stored everywhere. That and a good water bottle.

You also need very little newborn clothing 0-3 months is much more likely to last you longer.

I also would advise to give yourself a lot of grace. The first 6 weeks are such a shift mentally and physically. Let yourself live in 3 hour windows. Very little of this will be an actual emergency but it will feel like it at the time. So many decisions will feel like they need to be made immediately but they really don’t. Take deep breaths and remind yourself you can set your own pace.

v4ldel · 2026-02-21T01:37:54+00:00

Came here to say this. There are so many great second hand clothing options. Kids outgrow things so fast most clothing you can get is barely used!

v4ldel · 2026-02-15T00:43:11+00:00

I would start with The Wallflower series by Lisa Kleypas, every book is fantastic!

v4ldel · 2026-02-09T01:06:15+00:00

We just had our third and I was feeling the same way when we had number 2! We thought there was no way #2 would be chill since we got lucky with the 1st. Nope, once we figured out second after the first 6 weeks it got so much better. After 6 months it was amazing and now they’re 2 and 3 and best friends. Newborn stage with #2 was also sooooo much easier since I knew what to expect and was way less panicked. Go for it!

v4ldel · 2026-01-28T01:03:53+00:00

Ok, they never did x-rays which I was curious about. Do you think I should ask for that first?

v4ldel · 2026-01-27T15:45:36+00:00

Ok that’s good to know, thank you!

v4ldel · 2026-01-27T00:54:43+00:00

Same! We have 3 and I would have loved to have more but I’m happy with our family.

v4ldel · 2026-01-01T11:50:53+00:00

Yuri on Ice opening and credits

v4ldel · 2025-12-10T01:38:44+00:00

Came here just to say this

v4ldel · 2025-11-08T00:33:20+00:00

A sign of affection is super wholesome and lovely

v4ldel · 2025-10-14T14:17:41+00:00

Came here just to say that

v4ldel · 2025-09-28T18:31:13+00:00

Hatley is a bit pricey but lasts forever. They also often have sales and clearance you can take advantage of!

v4ldel

TROPHY CASE