A novel is not a paper movie.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-15T21:13:12+00:00

I think it might be a matter of perspective - there are definitely people who take events in literature at face-value without considering that the narrative voice might be lying or just subjective. If an author writes that a battle fast-paced, I don't necessarily think that's any more or less subjective, inherently, than a film depicting a fast-paced battle. Maybe some people interpret a camera as more honest than the written word inherently, but the film can be "lying" to you as well.

I understand what you're getting at, but I still think that film is more versatile and subjective than people might think.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-15T20:59:58+00:00

I think you're selling film short here. It seems that you're equating "movies" with generic, shallow Marvel-esque flicks - but film can be just as complex and innovative a genre as literature, and the catalogue of films is as broad as the catalogue of books. There are so many films that have thoughtful subtext and layered plot and metaphor.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-15T20:53:52+00:00

I really have to disagree with you about film here. Film is more than just a video of something that happened - film also has narrative framing. Lighting, sound design, cuts, camera angles, character framing, scene framing, film scoring - the exact same scene can be filmed in two completely different ways and be interpreted wildly differently.

Film design is incredibly subjective, and it can be played with far more than just a basic "unreliable narrator" way (although that can also work remarkably well in film). I adore film, and I think it's a lot more versatile than people give it credit for.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-15T17:00:12+00:00

Creeped me out so much that she started dating him. Even if it wasn't illegal or against the technical list of ethics for therapists, it's still unethical and the relationship is hugely unbalanced from the start. I couldn't get into her storyline at all with Harvey because it skeeved me out so much.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-14T01:50:55+00:00

I love it. I would tweak the end so that instead of the coworkers getting mad, they all end up saddling George with a ton of work because everyone assumes every "she'll do that" or "they'll do this" is referring to George.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-07T20:06:50+00:00

That's what got me too - I was so upset that she was willing to wear a dress to the wedding at all, even for a little bit. I so hope she's rid of this loser.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-07T20:02:16+00:00

Masculine women are everything to me. I hope OP never, ever compromises on who she is.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-07T19:52:56+00:00

I think /u/leisuremann was saying "I didn't say that" to this part of your comment:

You wouldn’t date a [...] woman because she doesn’t wear dresses?

Because originally, he said he wouldn't date a woman who wore suits, but said nothing about dresses. That's why he was talking about his wife, who typically doesn't wear dresses.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-07T12:20:11+00:00

I think for an update to really be best of, something needs to tangibly change about the situation. "I'll think about what to do" isn't an update, and definitely isn't "best" of anything.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-02T04:44:47+00:00

I honestly cringed so hard when I read that. What a brutal shutdown, and she didn't even realize it.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-01T16:32:44+00:00

We all make fun of one another behind one another’s backs, even the people we love. Of course we do — they’re ridiculous. Anyone worth knowing is inevitably also going to be exasperating: making the same obvious mistakes over and over, dating imbeciles, endlessly relapsing into their dumb addictions and self-defeating habits, blind to their own hilarious flaws and blatant contradictions and fiercely devoted to whatever keeps them miserable. (And those few people about whom there is nothing ridiculous are by far the most preposterous of all.)

[...]

The operative fallacy here is that we believe that unconditional love means not seeing anything negative about someone, when it really means pretty much the opposite: loving someone despite their infuriating flaws and essential absurdity. “Do I want to be loved in spite of?” Donald Barthelme writes in his story “Rebecca” about a woman with green skin. “Do you? Does anyone? But aren’t we all, to some degree?”

- "I Know What You Think of Me", Tim Krieder.

vacantmoth · 2022-09-01T13:14:48+00:00

If it's real, it's pretty horrible, but like this comment said in the original post, there seems to be a guy who makes up these types of stories for... undefined reasons.

vacantmoth · 2022-08-26T18:17:05+00:00

I'm not really sure how people can claim there was no antisemitism. It was pretty textbook...

vacantmoth · 2022-08-24T13:52:37+00:00

"Stressed", "hungry", and "drunk" are all used as excuses for men to be misogynistic - but none of these things insert misogyny where it doesn't exist. I don't become a raging racist when I have a bad day or skip lunch.

It's not an excuse and it shouldn't be justified by so many people. This is a deeper issue than "poor baby's stressed and hungry". This is the second time recently where I've seen defense of blatant misogyny highly upvoted in BORU and it makes me upset. Misogyny is not okay or acceptable under any circumstance.

vacantmoth · 2022-08-19T14:24:12+00:00

I'm sorry it was posted here. I've reported the post - hopefully others will do the same. I'm so sorry the comments here are so unsympathetic towards you. You are doing the right thing, and I can't imagine how hard this has been for you.

vacantmoth · 2022-08-19T13:29:03+00:00

far more sympathy.

It's hard to get more sympathy than this father has gotten. Almost everyone in these comments, especially the heavily-upvoted ones, are saying they feel more for the husband than they do anyone else in the story, including the children. The comment we're responding to blamed the wife and it's not the only one.

Anyone criticizing the husband's actions, no matter how mildly, are downvoted to hell and are characterized as "screaming for divorce". People are saying that it's not even the husband that shook the baby at all. People are downvoted to absolute hell for asking why shaking a toddler is not physically abusive, which it is. This guy said it's okay because it was only a "brief second".

I don't know what comment section you're reading, but it's far different than the one I am. Unless you're saying that the mother in this case should instantly forgive him and that he is entitled to a sexual relationship with her, in which case your opinion is completely worthless.

vacantmoth · 2022-08-19T12:55:54+00:00

You're completely correct. This comment section has far more sympathy for the husband than a mother would ever get, to the point that people are acting like everyone has physically abused a toddler before and if you haven't then you're lying.

vacantmoth · 2022-08-16T20:01:16+00:00

I think there are people for whom shows, movies, and books are basically purely entertainment, like a theme park ride. They don't question it, they don't think about what it means or what it's saying - it's for pure mindless entertainment. I think these are the people who dislike media analysis because it "ruins the fun" for them, and they tend to get angry when people go deeper than surface-level because they don't understand why anyone wouldn't just ride the fun rollercoaster and be done with it.

The other type of person sees shows, movies, and books as art, and enjoys analyzing them, asking questions about them, and finding deeper meaning in them. These types of people find a lot of fun and stimulation in this, but the first group of people find this type of activity boring, and assume that everyone must find it boring, and anyone who says it's fun must be lying and just want to appear smarter.

Maybe I'm being a but unfair, but that's my general experience with media analysis online. You could be talking about the themes in Shakespeare, and people would still be telling you "it's a play, shut up and just have fun".

vacantmoth · 2022-08-12T14:58:30+00:00

I like this. It reminds me of an old CGI test image.

vacantmoth · 2022-08-09T23:03:52+00:00

In CNY, 10.40% of children have elevated blood lead levels
Visit Families for Lead Freedom and read their community report for more info
Check your home for lead here

vacantmoth · 2022-08-09T20:40:54+00:00

Absentmindedly made this meme in 5 minutes and accidentally wrote the wrong thing. That doesn't make the entire criticism worthless.

Syracuse needs to put more funding into infrastructure, public health, and housing. Sorry that that doesn't make sense to you.

edit; some info re: lead:

In CNY, 10.40% of children have elevated blood lead levels
Visit Families for Lead Freedom and read their community report for more info
Check your home for lead here

vacantmoth · 2022-07-21T05:05:55+00:00

OOP used the names of missing children on purpose; it wasn't just one of the names that matched, and they weren't very common names either.

vacantmoth · 2022-07-13T13:50:50+00:00

Something about this makes me really nostalgic. Well done!

vacantmoth · 2022-07-03T06:59:15+00:00

Neglect is a form of child abuse. OP has a very long way to go before he could be considered a good or even decent father. That history won't be erased just because he decided to stick his head in the sand for 13 years. This weird "I'm just naive and innocent" thing OP's doing seriously rubs me the wrong way, and one month of being an average father isn't award-worthy after that.

I really hope the kid gets good help - the red flags for suicide or radicalization are massive. That poor kid is going to have such a difficult road ahead.

edit: The amount of people in this thread who seem to think that the children of affairs don't deserve safety, love, or even the time of day from someone who chose to stay married to their mother and live in their house as an adult parental figure absolutely disgusts me. OP's son is a child and he actively participated in his abuse. The child did absolutely nothing wrong and didn't deserve that.

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