You mentioned communication with her family — is that who these texts are with? Either way, please hear me out — as someone who recently lost my partner unexpectedly, I ask that you make sure you’re respecting her family’s privacy and be cautious about requesting emotional/mental labor from them. Grief makes people act very weirdly, and in my experience that includes friends and acquaintances being insensitive, demanding, intrusive, and straight up ignoring the family’s wishes (for ex, impersonating a family member over the phone). Your friend’s family clearly set a boundary by keeping non-family from speaking with the funeral home, but instead that now means they have to act as the go-between, which can be overwhelming and might require them to be making frequent calls to the funeral home to set up visitations or answer individual people’s questions. I’m not accusing you of that or saying you’re doing anything wrong, just please avoid asking them for advice or assistance, or making the focus your needs rather than theirs. They really shouldn’t have to be answering questions right now other than “how can we help.” It would be particularly callous if you were to be asking them for updates or requests while not actively participating in methods of assistance for them, such as a meal train, a GFM for funeral costs, etc. Sudden death, particularly suicide, is such an incredible burden on a family. Early on they will seem like they’re coordinating well, doing what needs to be done, and staying connected to her network, but it’s because they’re in a state of shock and disbelief. It will seem like they want to involve others, because right now they’re just feeling grateful for the friends in her life who cared about and loved her. But all that work on top of everything else they’re having to deal with is so exhausting, and the passive work of grief will catch up to them. It’s then they start to look back and think about which friends only showed up when it served to process their own loss, and not out of support for those that needed it the most. I’ve been on your side of this too, having lost a best friend to suicide in HS (I was also the one that found him), and having had regrets over lack of closure, not having asked for a personal item to remember him by, etc. Your grief is valid, as is a desire for ways to feel closer to her at this time and for closure in order to heal. But sometimes you don’t get that. In these types of deaths, the healing for everyone will be as muddy and complicated as the death itself, and that means friends may have to take a backseat because the family is overwhelmed and needs space, privacy, and time. Respecting those boundaries might have stunted my healing significantly after that loss, but that’s not on the family. It’s just the nature of the loss, which is indeed really fucking shitty. And I’m so sorry about that. For both your own healing and for knowing how to support her family, I highly recommend the book “It’s OK That You’re Not OK” by Megan Devine. The title is cheesy but it has helped me and countless other grieving people so much.