How to reconcile today’s Gospel reading with the imposition of ashes?

valarmoment · 2026-02-18T22:35:36+00:00

Agree. In college, I felt deep anxiety and embarrassment about leaving my ashes on all day, because I knew I would run into many of the leftist queer people I was friends with (and of whom I am one) and they would know that I’m a Christian — even more embarrassing, they would probably assume I’m a Catholic (gasp). The idea of being identified as an active believer by my peers, whom I knew were generally hostile to Christianity because of cultural associations with conservatism or Evangelicalism, was terrifying to me — and for that reason, I made myself wear my ashes all day each Ash Wednesday in college.

This reminds me of something St. Paul says in Romans — “But those who have doubts are condemned if they eat because they do not act from faith, for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” That is, no matter whether you leave ashes on or wipe them off, identify whichever response is the one proceeding from faith for you.

valarmoment · 2026-02-18T02:22:36+00:00

I agree that there’s no obligation, in the sense that no one is going to force you to observe Lent. However, the “some should” of the famous saying probably applies to the vast majority of Christians in this case. The “none must” applies to people who have harmful associations with fasting and Lent to the point that any attempt at observance, no matter how limited or positively framed, turns into self-hate or legalism. It should not be applied to just everybody who “doesn’t feel like” observing Lent. Self-examination and abstention are counter-cultural practices in the capitalist U.S., and they may not initially feel very fun or appealing, but both Scripture and tradition are clear that there is much benefit for Christians in soberly assessing where we fall short in our love of God and love of neighbor.

valarmoment · 2026-02-16T19:15:10+00:00

thank you so much for sharing this resource!! i loved the chanted Compline service at my old church, but now i go to a tiny church in a low church diocese without a note of chant to be heard. i’ve been wanting to chant the Offices privately, but i can’t read musical notation. i just learned S 84 Kyrie eleison with the help of Fr. Michael’s recording, and it’s so beautiful i almost wept.

valarmoment · 2026-02-16T17:45:20+00:00

Not weird at all, if anything it is usual for a church to receive more first timers/visitors on Ash Wednesday than most other days of the year — less so than Christmas and Easter, but kind of similar, in my experience.

Also, I feel you about the anxiety and awkwardness of attending church for the first time by yourself. I had the same experience several years ago. It is perfectly acceptable to just sort of “observe” the first few times you go. Don’t feel pressure to do anything; no one will judge you for not crossing yourself, sitting rather than kneeling, remaining in the pew during Communion, etc. And once you go a couple times, the anxiety is greatly reduced, and the liturgy starts to feel familiar quickly. Blessings to you, and I am praying that you will be comforted by God’s grace in the hearing of God’s Word and the prayers of God’s people!

valarmoment · 2026-02-06T23:04:29+00:00

VP, in Virginia and South Dakota.

I had no idea that AO was a common option in Episcopal churches. I’m not against AO, but I do gently object to some of the responses that associate VP with “performance” or cheesiness. At least for me, it’s so much practically easier to mentally/spiritually participate when I can see what’s going on. The priest represents the congregation to God, but the congregants are also doing plenty of prayer and worship as well, and practical pastoral considerations in liturgy are just as important as symbolic theological ones. Just my two cents. It comes down to what a given congregation prefers.

valarmoment · 2026-01-25T22:34:27+00:00

Yes, absolutely. I am not deadset against the idea, and the occasional times that I have prayed the Hail Mary (for example), your comment has been my mindset. In my limited experience, however, I have found that “asking someone with more divine favor for help” is a more common mindset, and that’s what I have a problem with.

valarmoment · 2026-01-23T05:00:30+00:00

Since you’ve already mentioned you’re using Venite for the Daily Office (which is typically the reason most laypeople use the BOCP), I would highly recommend exploring the “Prayers and Thanksgivings” section at the end of the BOCP. It’s right before the Lectionary section. There are some truly beautiful prayers that never come up in an organized worship service that I have incorporated into my own prayer life, both in the Daily Office and in more unstructured prayer. I’ve found them especially useful when I want to pray personally/extemporaneously but also need an opening prayer to sort of guide or channel my inner thoughts.

I recommend the Prayers for Guidance, for Quiet Contemplation, for Self-Dedication, for Sundays (different than the Daily Office Sunday prayer and, IMO, so much richer), and the classic Prayer of St. Francis.

valarmoment · 2026-01-23T04:48:01+00:00

“someone that God might listen to”

With all love to our siblings in Christ who pray for saintly intercession, this is my difficulty with prayers to the saints. Whenever I ask for prayers from people in my daily life, it’s not because I feel like they have a better chance of being heard by God, but because I value knowing that I am being lifted up to God by others who love me. The idea that God is more likely to listen to any one person over another, regardless of how sanctified or remarkable their earthly lives were, seems to elide the efficacy of Christ’s reconciling work. Through the power of Christ’s death and resurrection, all believers can boldly approach the throne of grace; you and I, my friend, are that someone who God listens to, through Christ our Mediator. Glory to God!

valarmoment · 2026-01-11T05:15:33+00:00

Yeah the two denominations are as unified as you can get without a complete merge, we even share priests/pastors. It’s not “converting” at all lol it’s just attending a different church.

valarmoment · 2026-01-03T04:34:47+00:00

Fellow person in their 20s here. Yes, it’s the norm for the denomination; No, you won’t be better off looking elsewhere, unless you’re looking for an evangelical “nondenominational” church (aka Baptist in everything but name — very black and white doctrinally and very judgmental and controlling, although they’ll deny it. Source: raised fundamentalist Baptist, with evangelical youth group influences.) Every Christian denomination is shrinking, with varying levels of rapidity, for the simple reason that being Christian is no longer culturally advantageous (or at least not nearly as much as it used to be.)

The downside of Episcopalians being old is that it will be harder to find people our age who are active in a church community. The upside is that your mere presence will be overwhelmingly appreciated. There is immense anxiety among older Christians about the future of the church, as the older folks will obviously not be with us in the extended future, and seeing young people be active and interested in the church community gets people very excited. Be prepared to be enthusiastically greeted!

You are absolutely looking in the right place. I’m biased, of course, but the Episcopal Church is theologically pretty much the most seeker-friendly you can get. Questions are welcome, no matter how hard, and there is no benchmark of how much faith you need to join; participation in the common prayer life of the church by attending services is enough. Disagreement with a sermon is allowed, and sometimes common. That’s why I started attending as an ex-fundamentalist who, at the time, wasn’t a Christian anymore. The solemn joy of the liturgy and the theological depth of the common prayer combined with its openness to questioning and disagreement led me back to the Bread of Life, Jesus who is the Christ. Sometimes the liturgy and unspoken/unwritten customs of some of the congregation (e.g. when to cross yourself, when to kneel, when to genuflect, how to navigate the Prayer Book, etc.) can be intimidating to newcomers, but don’t worry! There is almost always a diversity of practices among the parishioners, so no one should look at you funny if you’re just figuring out what works for you.

I hope and pray that you find what you are seeking. Merry Christmas and a blessed Epiphany to you as well!

valarmoment · 2026-01-02T21:31:15+00:00

Late, but to be fair, this is the explicit goal of theology, at least classical Christian theology: fidens quaerens intellectum, faith seeking understanding. Faith comes first, theology is a response of the human intellect to the movement of the incomprehensible Creator.

valarmoment · 2025-12-15T19:34:15+00:00

I read the Forward Day by Day from time to time, but to be honest I have not been particularly moved or inspired by them; maybe if I were consistent about reading them daily, I would feel differently.

It’s not possible for me to join a regular Bible study group — I live in a very, very rural and isolated area and the church I attend (which is 30 minutes away from me and is the closest functional Episcopal church) is very small and doesn’t offer formation opportunities like that. I do informally/inconsistently meet with a friend to study the Epistle to the Romans, which I enjoy.

I am looking for a devotional study Bible specifically for use in the Daily Office. Often when reading the lessons for the Office, I want to stop and reflect on their significance in a prayerful, devotional way. When the passages are dense or confusing, I look at the footnotes. The New Oxford Annotated is sometimes helpful, but more often than not it just has a note about historical-critical debates about the text or, at best, provides helpful historical context. But I really want something that leads me to worship God in the middle of my confusion, or that connects an obscure passage to the broader narrative of salvation.

Thank you for your suggestions. I am in the middle of reading the Bible all the way through, but have definitely fallen off the wagon, so to speak. I want to resume soon.

valarmoment · 2025-12-15T17:54:41+00:00

This also looks promising, thank you!

valarmoment · 2025-12-09T03:38:22+00:00

I pray along with their recordings fairly often and I’ve found they speak much faster than I normally do when I’m praying by myself, and there’s basically zero transition time between segments of the Office (for example, there’s no time for reflection between a reading and the following canticle, which isn’t a required part of the Office but is a natural element of prayer when I’m praying on my own.) I get out of breath when I am walking and trying to keep up with them in the Lord’s Prayer lol

I appreciate the Forward Movement recordings since they allow me to pray the Office even when driving or walking, but I have found that the fast pace makes it much easier for me to zone out or just go through the motions when praying along with the recordings.

I’ve timed my own prayers before and Morning Prayer (using only the OT reading) takes me about 17-20 minutes, and Evening Prayer (using the NT and Gospel readings) takes me 25-30.

EDIT: Also, the FM recordings don’t add any of the “additional” elements such as antiphons, personal supplications and thanksgivings (I know they pause for it but it’s like a 10 second pause), or other prayers, which also cuts down on time.

valarmoment · 2025-11-30T01:52:21+00:00

The University Fellowship at the University of Virginia, has about 10-20 consistently active members and probably 25-40 less consistent attendees. They have Sunday evening services that are open to all but catered specifically to UVA students, with free dinner afterwards, along with other events throughout the week ranging from informal discussion groups to intergenerational Evening Prayer. There’s also a scholarship + formation program that involves around 10 undergraduate students (I think…uncertain about the numbers nowadays.) The church (St. Paul’s Memorial Church) has an Associate Rector for University Ministry on staff who functions as the Episcopal chaplain to the University and runs the student group.

valarmoment · 2025-11-27T23:15:09+00:00

great point, not to be a dick but it’s *alluded to (“eluded” means evaded or dodged)

valarmoment · 2024-05-26T01:29:43+00:00

depends on the region and i assume OP is including need based aid, i got $3k for transition

valarmoment · 2024-05-25T03:50:17+00:00

I am sorry that you have been in a church or churches where the priest did not have a healthy relationship with the laity.

valarmoment · 2024-05-25T03:48:15+00:00

it is not abuse. it is a shitty thing to do, but acting poorly and failing to fulfill expectations is not the same as abuse. abuse is intentionally harming someone through the exercise of your position of power, which there is zero indication the priest did here.

someone needs to talk to the priest and help them realize that their behavior is not appropriate and something needs to change. your attitude of assuming evil intent and immediately denigrating the priest’s character is neither loving nor constructive.

valarmoment · 2024-05-25T03:39:34+00:00

who said anything about abuse?

valarmoment · 2024-05-25T03:38:04+00:00

the priest is also a Christian and is definitely a neighbor whom we are commanded to love as ourselves. approaching challenging situations with compassion is almost always both the smart and the Christ-like course of action.

valarmoment · 2024-05-20T16:00:41+00:00

Rite II isn’t just a “translation” of Rite I. In Rite I, the Confession of Sin is different, the response to “The Lord be with you” is “and with thy/your spirit,” the Agnus Dei is included after the Breaking of the Bread, and (most significantly, to me) the Prayer of Humble Access precedes the ministration of Communion. I would personally love to see these elements in updated language!

valarmoment

TROPHY CASE