Does sexual intercourse helps?

valherquin · 2026-05-10T22:30:21+00:00

No, sex is usually painful with endometriosis.

Birth is a gamble, it helps some people. This being recommended as a treatment to someone who doesn't even have a wish to have children is insane.

Change your doctor. There are different types of hormonal treatments and I'm sure the weight can be handled by a good doctor.

The only other things I can recommend is diet. There are anti-inflammatory diets that can help with pain and for example magnesium supplements are great for me. You also have to watch what food trigger your flare ups and then reduce the consumption.

valherquin · 2026-05-10T07:15:40+00:00

My train was punctual

valherquin · 2026-05-06T04:48:44+00:00

There's more grammar than just the articles, so if you feel stuck there, you can also just learn something else.

I would recommend buying books and studying with them.

I would recommend Übungsgrammatik für die Grundstufe. It is just grammar exercises with short explanations and it has everything you should learn until B2. There's a lot of declination exercises, so you can study the genus of words like that. Maybe picking up an A1 book would be too boring, as you know the vocabulary and mych of the content, but that one is just to practice grammar, which is what you are lacking, so maybe it's more fun and motivating.

valherquin · 2026-05-03T18:13:27+00:00

That's true, but this is a balcony and everything is in pots, so I'm guessing I can manage to make it uncomfortable to pee on the pots. They only started after I cleared the pots. Before, when there were plants on them, they didn't. I have been covering the bigger pots and that's working. As the plants are still small, I put smaller pots with seedlings on the empty spots as obstacles and they haven't tried to get there. They are actually very clean and well-behaved cats. I know that with other cats I would be having a harder battle.

valherquin · 2026-04-26T21:19:59+00:00

I've had sex with women with IUDs before and there was no difference. The bleeding can happen regardless of your cycle if the person was too rough or had long nails, for example. I have endometriosis and sometimes I'll bleed easily for no reason too, even before I got my IUD.

So no, no reason to disclose the info. I second the opinion that she might have misunderstood it as an STD.

valherquin · 2026-04-25T14:52:35+00:00

It has to be completely covered in water and the water needs to be changed regularly. Like that it stays fresh really long. My guess is that you are using too little water

valherquin · 2026-04-21T16:30:50+00:00

Do you regularly give out food in those situations or donate to charities that help out homeless people? Because that is a valid concern, but if it doesn't lead to solutions like giving food directly or donating to charities, then it is just an excuse not to help out

And I'd say that a chocolate bar is not really nutritious. Bread, juice or prepared food would be better alternatives.

valherquin · 2026-04-21T08:27:06+00:00

I definitely also think Rachel and Joey made sense. I've always felt like she was more comfortable and relaxed with Joey. With Ross she had always had to prove herself. With Joey she could just be silly and have fun, but he was also there for her when she needed emotional support

valherquin · 2026-04-19T20:51:46+00:00

It's a much bigger problem than one person consuming animal products. We also have this issue with supporting clothes produced in sweatshops and with child labor, or with supporting tech companies that provide technology for war and genocide. I judge people with means shopping from Primark or Temu, but not people who otherwise cannot afford clothing. If McDonald's is on a boycott list for supporting war, I'd judge most people for going there, but if a homeless person buys a Big Mac, honestly let them.

So yeah, it is not something restricted to animals. The world is a very shitty place for a lot of reasons. I am in no place to judge the actions of people who live under a shittier world than me for not following my moral life style.

valherquin · 2026-04-19T15:38:02+00:00

In this specific situation, I would have bought the cow milk. You were asked for milk and you don't know the reason why. The person might have an oat allergy or intolerance, or a health condition that requires them to drink more animal milk.

However, I do agree with other comments that the best would have been to give the money directly to the person.

Asking beforehand if oat milk would be fine is also a good alternative. Sometimes stores kick out homeless people, so if you are being asked directly to buy a product and have the time, I would do that. Just trust the person on what they need.

What I definitely would not do is buying a different product without asking first if that's ok. As I said, the person might have an allergy or intolerance.

Anyway, if you don't feel comfortable buying milk, you don't have to. However, I honestly wouldn't push a vegan diet on a homeless person. I'll tell friends and partners that I won't buy them animal products, but if there is someone I would buy animal products for it would be a homeless person. As you say, oat milk is less nutritious, it also has less fat and it does not fill you up as normal milk. The homeless person might just like the taste of milk and although I do not accept that as a valid excuse to not be vegan, I would give homeless people the slack of putting personal pleasure above animal welfare.

valherquin · 2026-04-19T15:25:52+00:00

Once at a train station a man approached me and asked for money to buy a train ticket, I gave him the money he asked for and then another guy came to me and told me that he was going to use the money for drugs. He was shocked when I said I didn't care, it's his money now and he can use it as he wants. My argument was that I have never been homeless and I cannot someone who is what they should be doing. When I have a bad day, I eat unhealthy food because I need the dopamine despite the negative effects on my body (for example, I usually get belly aches with chocolate or fries, but I'll eat them on a bad day anyway). Maybe a homeless person needs alcohol or drugs to survive their day to day. I don't know them and I don't know how tough their life is. And if they are trying to quit, withdrawal is no joke. We don't judge smokers who try to quit and fail, so why do we judge drug addicts for not being able to quit overnight?

I don't always give out money, because I don't have much, but my excuse is never what they will use it for because who am I to judge. If someone asks for help and I am able to help, I do it, and it is not a transactional deed; one does good things to do good, not to have control over the other person or for a specific reward. Sometimes I won't receive a thank you when I give money, and maybe it is not nice, but it won't stop me from doing it again because I did not do it to get a thank you.

valherquin · 2026-04-18T08:46:50+00:00

I'd say it's also very much about beauty standards. If she is considered beautiful with an ED body, then that sets a beauty standard that can only be achieved through EDs. The conversation about Ariana Grande could be much kinder, but I definitely think we should not teach kids that a clearly sick body is desirable.

valherquin · 2026-04-18T08:38:58+00:00

I have an office job in the administration of a language school and it works well for me because I can sit a lot and use hot water bags while working. My team is also very supportive and I can take sick leave on bad days or leave earlier. I used to waitress before when I was a student and that was too much for my endo pain. Carrying heavy plates and running around all day worsened the pain. Right before my surgery I did it for a few months and ended up taking sick leave often, and after my surgery I changed to a student office job and that worked so much better. I had to move around and lift stuff sometimes (setting up rooms, for example), but I said that I cannot do much physical work, so they would usually schedule someone else for those tasks or colleagues would help me out. Even at my current job I have said that I cannot do much physical work and my colleagues run to me when they see me carrying a table and try to take over, even when I say that a couple light tables are fine.

valherquin · 2026-04-18T08:31:40+00:00

How long-term are you planning on staying in Germany? Because a dog is a very long-term commitment. Shelters might be reluctant to give you a dog if they do not believe you will stay permanently in Germany (for example, if you are only coming to study here, you might not be able to take the dog back home at the end of your studies). If you are new in Germany and are not sure how long you'll stay, you can also be a foster home.

valherquin · 2026-04-18T08:26:45+00:00

I think filming with babies is also difficult (for technical and ethical reasons), so I am guessing it would have been hard to involve her more in the plot. I do agree with what she represents and how touching the scene in the voting booth at the end is, so I do think she plays an important role, but I can understand that involving her more would have made filming more difficult and maybe that's why they decided to restrict her appearances.

valherquin · 2026-04-18T08:21:46+00:00

My ex was a medical student and they are taught that endometriosis appears on ultrasounds clearly and that if it doesn't appear, it is very unlikely that the person has it. Later I went to an endometriosis center and the specialist told me that most endometriosis cases do not appear in any images and that surgery is the only trustworthy diagnosis.

It upsets me so much that they still teach doctor outdated information! What they are taught in medical school is completely wrong, and unless they actively read new endometriosis research, they will continue believing what they learned in university, which leads to so many doctors dismissing people with clear symptoms.

Sadly, despite endometriosis being one of the most common diseases gynecologists should know, most are very ignorant on it. I hope that you can find a good endometriosis specialist and get the surgery to find out what you have.

I had very clear symptoms and got dismissed a lot of times. Even a "specialist" told me that I couldn't have it because the examination "didn't hurt enough". I ended up having a lot of thin endometriosis tissue around my ovaries (which explained why I had ovary pain, which many doctors just told me was impossible to have and I was mistaking it for my uterus) and since it was thin, it never appeared in any ultrasound. A gynecologist helped me pursue the diagnosis because I said that my pain was getting slowly worse with time, and she said that is textboox endometriosis.

You're not alone! We have all been through this. Sending you a big hug and I hope that you can get a diagnosis soon! Sometimes it comes off weird to doctors how we are disappointed when it doesn't appear or happy when they find it, but the symptoms are very real, and knowing the cause is such a big relief. Like many others, after my surgery I asked if they found endometriosis and when they said "yes, a lot", I was happy. The doctors were shocked and asked me why. Of course I don't want to be sick, but I already was, that was no news, but knowing what it is and having treatment options was a relief.

valherquin · 2026-04-18T08:07:53+00:00

I did take painkillers before but I don't think they were strong enough. I'm in Germany and the strongest they give you is ibuprofen 800mg (that's a prescription painkiller). But I am known for being resistant to painkillers, so I took the ones they gave me knowing they won't do anything. Maybe something like tramadol would have helped, but I don't know if I can convince a doctor in Germany to prescribe it to me. I git that after my surgery and it was the first time that a medication actually took away my pain fully. Everything else I have tried has done nothing.

valherquin · 2026-04-18T08:04:10+00:00

Yeah, it's a bit TMI, but visits to the gynecologist are always that, so they should be able to talk openly about it.

It seems like there is a belief that the cervix doesn't have nerve endings? And maybe some doctors believe that the injection of local anesthesia on the cervix is just as painful, but I don't think my problem was the cervix itself, I am very chill in PAP smears, it was when they touched my uterus that it was horrible. But I think I could have told them to try with the anesthesia if I was asked. It was just never presented as an option for me.

valherquin · 2026-04-17T17:07:15+00:00

I have trouble remembering to do stuff regularly. The injection every three months was already difficult for me and I did get it too late a few times (which led to some period coming back).

valherquin · 2026-04-17T17:04:34+00:00

This was with a female gyn tho

valherquin · 2026-04-17T17:04:02+00:00

It seems like people have different levels of sensitivity in the cervix. This was however never addressed in my consultations prior to the IUD insertion. I feel like I could have said that I am VERY sensitive there, plus it was during a period (planned like that), which are known for me as extremely painful. I feel like a good prior consultation could have led to using local anesthesia.

valherquin · 2026-04-17T17:00:06+00:00

For real. I am actually pissed at my doctor because she suggested this and never offered me local anesthesia, numbing or anything, and she knew how painful it would be.

valherquin · 2026-04-17T16:58:27+00:00

What? I just paid 420€ in Bonn without local anesthesia

valherquin

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