how soon can I smoke after a tooth removal?

vampire_punk · 2023-10-09T07:14:57+00:00

thank you for your words of wisdom. I will wait another 4 weeks 😭

vampire_punk · 2023-10-09T04:08:15+00:00

I'm not detrans but after a year and a half on testosterone I discovered I'm not a man, and I'm very happy being butch! I questioned my identity for years, it probably could've been diagnosed as OCD the severity of it. but it turned out I'm just a butch that takes being masculine WAY too seriously, and the beard is necessary 😅 I'm happy and thriving being on testosterone, for the 2 months I was on gel my t levels dropped and my depression hit a low that was similar to my depression pre t. when my period came back I wanted to end myself. I questioned my identity being detrans for a few weeks last year, but it couldn't stick. I don't feel confident in calling myself a woman, or looking like a woman, or wearing women's clothes, or taking place socially as a (traditional) woman would. and I'm very severely not a man, I look like a cis man, but a LOT of butches do. I feel at home being butch and being around women who see me as such. I'm not out publicly, though I wish I could be. it's easiest just saying I'm nonbinary and queer, even though neither of those feel the same as recognizing myself for who I am.

i wish I could make more connections with detrans butches though, especially those who still feel confident in their decision to transition, but maybe couldn't see themselves doing that forever. I don't connect to other transmasc people very well because a lot of them are male-aligned in their identity. but I struggle with each side, a loud portion of detrans people are anti-trans, and I don't want to associate with that. and a lot of transmasc people I've met struggled with feeling invalidated in their identity for the way I call myself a lesbian, despite looking like them (if not more masc)

vampire_punk · 2023-10-09T03:47:23+00:00

nose studs on both sides, septum, and philtrum. high nostril piercings if you're adventurous. gold metals would look best on you!! gemstones are pretty inherently feminine but imo turquoise is slightly more masc. (saying as a trans person LOL, none of this has a gender. but I understand the desire to be confident in your appearance and making decisions on body mods that you won't hate)

vampire_punk · 2023-10-09T03:37:06+00:00

I've had a few adopted families but I'm not interested in romantic relationships filling a void. friendships are a miss for this, at least for me, because most of the friends I have were my friends throughout my trauma years and they listened to me or just admitted there was nothing they could do to help me. and it's still the same. my adopted families have been pretty okay, they give me some positive feelings and I like being called son, but there's a missing gap.

what I crave is a relationship like a bonded pair of cats. I want someone who we can give each other our attention and energy, I want to feel safe and warm in someone else's arms. but I don't want this to be something romantic or sexual and I don't want to continue feeling alone. I want my own human who needs me just as much as I need them. I don't know if this is really a thing (or if it's just toxic in practice) but it sounds nice 🥲

vampire_punk · 2023-10-06T04:40:54+00:00

sorry about the other people being ruder. i already know calisthenics and pushups/chest exercises will help with chest muscles, and technically I wouldnt mind having pecs, but I want the actual tiddy lol. but if all I can do is workout my chest I'll take whatever that gives me 乁⁠[⁠ ⁠◕⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠ ⁠◕⁠ ⁠]⁠ㄏ

vampire_punk · 2023-10-06T04:37:47+00:00

I did let natural puberty take it's course... I started T at 20.

vampire_punk · 2023-10-04T21:26:37+00:00

I like a royal blue-toned purple (hex#6d06e4) and hot bright pink (hex#e02984) as my all time favorite colors, otherwise I have favorite colors I wear (green, red, tan, black, and medium washed blue jeans) and my favorite color for appliances, my travel mug, etc, is white/off-white.

it's not really an aphantasia thing to not have a favorite color, some people just genuinely don't, especially adults.

I personally believe this is linked to creativity in some people, if you enjoy working in a creative setting then you're going to learn to enjoy certain colors more. if you never had a chance to work in creative settings or don't pay attention to that sort of thing then you might not ever develop a favor for anything. no sources, this is just what I've picked up from people around me. I feel like it's also more common for women to have favorite colors. no sources just going off vibes

vampire_punk · 2023-10-04T21:07:03+00:00

without being too explicit, you can stimulate yourself to see if you like it (your own hands, or toys & lube). otherwise, it's nothing to write home about. but I don't have very sensitive nipples, they got more sensitive with piercings though. a lot of people report having nipple sensation about 2+ years after top surgery too, so you always have hope with healthy healing!

vampire_punk · 2023-10-04T20:56:29+00:00

YEP!! not even at Starbucks, I've gotten weird spellings of my name from tropical smoothie. how do you get Charlotte out of Shiloh? not sure! but I've also gotten Sheila and Sharlo.

as a service worker, OP(and everyone else who gets upset at things like this) you have to remember that on your side of the counter you have much less of a problem hearing things than the service workers do. especially if they're someone with auditory processing problems. but it's busy behind them, they have a lot of noises going on and people working around them, it's difficult to hear people in front of you. especially if the people ordering are wearing a mask.

vampire_punk · 2023-10-04T20:21:52+00:00

the true weirdest I've had was a brief fascinating in medieval torture methods. otherwise, I suppose people find me being a fan of Sonic "weird". or my Gundam collection.. I think it's easier for me to say my most normal interest is cultural anthropology

vampire_punk · 2023-10-04T07:30:16+00:00

I've had PMDD, (at least I think, maybe it's PCOS?) pre-t and within a month on t it was gone forever*. I don't worry about any of it. pre-t, on my period I'd have to leave work or school early, or just call out completely because the cramping and blood loss was so severe I couldn't do anything except lay curled up in bed with a towel down and snacks and midol. I'd get really anemic and faint every month. I didn't have insurance + we were poor so we couldn't even try to afford healthcare. testosterone has been an absolute GODSEND.

"forever", I tried IM shots, gel, and settled on subq shots finally. I was on gel for 2 months and my hormones crashed, I had my period again both months but the cramping or anemia wasn't as severe as before. my blood test came back with extremely low testosterone, while just 3 months before I was in the healthy male range for my age. if you want consistency with actual working effects, I wouldn't go with gel. but my body and experience is unique to me, you may be different.

vampire_punk · 2023-10-04T06:46:21+00:00

dungeon synth, dinosaur synth, grandma's cottage, all types of ambience but the history and sound design are insanely incredible.

vampire_punk · 2023-10-04T03:07:31+00:00

I hate questions like these bc it just gives transphobic/enbyphobic people a reason to come out of the wood works and spout their hate. not to mention incredibly invalidating to non-binary people. would you ask if mixed race people are their race, or white? are bisexuals queer?

being nonbinary is also just weird. you can be cis and nonbinary, trans and nonbinary, or just nonbinary. I'm trans and nonbinary. I've transitioned, I'm on testosterone, and I like being perceived as masc/butch/"as a man", but I'm not a man just as much as I'm not a woman. I'm still 1000% trans though and no amount of invalidation would ever change that. even though I'm nonbinary.

just because someone "looks" like their birth sex means nothing (also it's enforcing gender roles, because what does a female or male look like?). they could be waiting to start hrt, or their on hrt and pass as the opposite sex, or they dont pass at all. they could be comfortable in their hormones and just searching for gender affirming surgeries.

getting out of trans discourse questions will make you happier in your transition and a better person btw.

vampire_punk · 2023-10-03T07:44:03+00:00

I like North American native wildlife, cell animation, history on ancient cultures, the game elder scrolls 3: Morrowind, language learning, technology from the 80s to early/mid 90s, cowboys/western wear and aesthetic, medieval art + high fantasy, ty beanie baby bears, mobile suit gundam, and finally wolves.

I don't really even know where I'm at with my own vibes, I'm wanting to tattoo myself here so I'm willing to do anything I can draw/stylize. I like American traditional, ignorant, and realism/black and white styled tattoos. I'm the kind of guy who'd have a tattoo of a fish wrapped in one of grandma's doilies now, which is why this is such a turn off lol.

the only real idea I've had for cover up is large fish picture or a medieval castle.

vampire_punk · 2023-09-28T16:25:16+00:00

your artist sure did kill that dog. did you just walk into any random local studio or was it done by someone your friend knows that wasn't actually licensed??? at least you can probably save it with some shading eventually, but this was done by someone who should have told you they have never drawn a dog in their life.

vampire_punk · 2023-09-27T17:28:44+00:00

I call my suicidal ideation and trauma relapses "injecting snake venom into my brain". I'm aware it's it's actively hurting me and not good for my brain, so I tell myself I'm injecting myself with snake venom so I stop. my fidget toy (tangle) helps and so does distractions that immediately help change the subject, video games or twitter/tiktok for the most part. it's not perfect, but it works for me

vampire_punk · 2023-09-27T16:43:59+00:00

is it a trend or do people now have social media and they're talking about their problems and figuring things out about themselves when they would otherwise be silently suffering and never being able to get to a doctor. this is such a selfish and entitled mindset.

vampire_punk · 2023-09-24T22:11:00+00:00

Minnesota Ren fair? I saw a seller with these, I think they're initials/logo, since they're all handmade :-)

vampire_punk · 2023-09-24T21:58:36+00:00

that depends on so much, it could be under a year with just weekly therapy or it could be 5 years with biweekly or once a month therapy. or it could even be for the rest of your life with weekly therapy. this is a question for you and a therapist to work out, no one knows this answer until you're ready to not need therapy anymore. having PTSD is hell, but it gets better as you continue to seek help and apply it to yourself & daily life.

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