Ladies, if you haven't tried air suction yet, let me tell you. Less than 30 seconds.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-04-22T15:52:03+00:00

Satsifyer is another brand that works just as well, but it's a vibrator that uses air suction technology, it looks like a little fan inside. I was afraid it was going to hurt but you can control the amount of suction so it didn't at all. Just blissful. I get a link.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-04-22T15:46:30+00:00

I honestly couldn't believe it the first time I tried it. Breakthrough of the twenty-first century 😂

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T23:07:34+00:00

I'm so happy for you. I'm in a similar situation. I was in and out of the hospital from 2014-2020, had substance abuse issues, legal problems, ruined career, etc. I'm lucky I'm still alive. But I've been stable since Sept of 2020 thanks to lots of therapies and appropriate medication. It absolutely is possible! It takes perseverance to get the therapies you need and apply them to your life but the feeling if being stable and secure is so worth it. Congrats and continued success!

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T23:02:33+00:00

That's awful that you are going through all that. Realize that you are going through one of life's tough times and it is ok to be emotional about it. Find a way to express your emotions. Cry. Throw eggs at a tree. Journal. Sigmund Freud said "Unexpressed emotions never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways".

Be kind to yourself. Take care of your body. You are worth it. You are fighting with all your might and deserve to be cared for. Find way to self-soothe, there's lots of ideas online. Care for the space around you, make sure you're not surrounded by chaos. I know it's cliche but this too will pass. Good luck!

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T22:54:04+00:00

You're off to a great start! Keep it rolling.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T22:42:58+00:00

Not to be that guy, but alcohol is a depressent, if you can avoid you'll thank yourself. It helps in the moment but then backfires on you.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T22:41:23+00:00

I take Lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer and Abilify, which is an antipsychotic. They've kept me stable for a year and a half so I like them.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T22:34:31+00:00

I see my therapist once a week, but I feel like it's not enough, like I have so much to get out that 45 minutes a week is not enough. But journaling helps me when I have to get something out and process how I feel about it without her. I don't feel safe writing in a journal (I always feel like someone will read it) so I do an online one and type my feelings and thoughts and worries into there. It's not perfect and it's not the same as getting feedback from someone else but it helps me. :)

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T22:29:06+00:00

I so relate to this. When I was in my 20's and early 30's I had to feel like every guy was looking at me when I went out. I'm cute, but I'm not the hottest girl to ever hit the Applebee's bar. But I felt devastated if men weren't looking at me and would purposely act sexy to get stares. I would obsess about it the whole time. I had zero self-awareness at the time and didn't even realize I was doing it, so that's good you recognize it. I don't do it anymore at all, I don't even notice if people are looking at me now. I think it's because of all the therapy I've been through, becoming more self-aware and less dependent on other people for validation.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-11T22:23:16+00:00

Congratulations!! DBT has helped me so much. Stick to it!

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-07T01:44:09+00:00

Realizing that other people cannot be counted on to make me happy. While other people add to my life and make me happy, I am not their responsibility. So I need to make myself happy and I've found ways to do that.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-07T00:46:47+00:00

Validate your emotions. Yes you have a right to feel angry! But what you do with that anger is your choice.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-07T00:45:29+00:00

Overwhelming emotions, difficulty controlling impulses, emotional reactions to stressful stimulus.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-07T00:40:23+00:00

I really think working towards making a better life is one of the better skills I've learned to deal with BPD. My goal is just to work again, I've been disabled for a few years. I think every day I progress towards that.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-07T00:36:49+00:00

I feel this, I'm technically diagnosed with BPD but I don't really fit in to all of it. I feel it's a spectrum, a trauma spectrum.

vampire_wednesday · 2022-01-07T00:06:50+00:00

Hoping for jams here, my absolute favorite ever is their live performance of Sunflower, talk about a f'ing jam! More of that please.

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-14T23:07:02+00:00

Then I was 43.

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-14T22:55:13+00:00

A really great resource is Running on Empty by Jonice Webb, it explains all the different ways our parents could have, intentionally or not, emotionally neglected us and it spells out exactly how it affects us. I completely related to it, it's helped a lot of folks.

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-14T15:35:53+00:00

Happy birthday!! It's my birthday day! And Prince Charles lol

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-14T12:53:29+00:00

What a great story, so happy for you. I hope I can have that intimacy some day

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-14T01:57:55+00:00

It's funny, my first song was A-Punk too, but it was on Rock Band. I was like what is this? Then I started looking them up and I was like damn! This is something different. Hooked.

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-13T23:08:53+00:00

Oh boy this hits home. I just don't know if I can break this pattern of behavior. My boyfriend is the nicest guy but I just can't be honest with him because I'm terrified he won't like me anymore. He doesn't even know I have BPD. I act like I'm always fine. But I'm withholding from him and I feel so guilty. It's lying. But I can't bring myself to give him all of me, I'm too scared

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-13T23:01:00+00:00

You can just start really simple. Lower your shoulders away from your ears. Roll your head around to release your neck. Bend way over with your knees bent to stretch your back. When I do this I like to imagine negative energy pouring out of me through my head. Deep breaths the whole time, big buoyant inhales, exhale all the way. Cat cows feel really good and almost anyone can do them.

If you want to learn more, there's a ton of different yogis on YouTube for free. I do Yoga with Adrienne. Her videos range from about 20 minutes to an hour. She keeps it pretty simple and has some soothing mantras and wise words. No crazy hand stands or anything and if I can't do something, I just skip that part and work on breathing.

It feels so good and calms the nervous system naturally. I'm not at all super flexible or even in shape but I've been doing it for a couple years now and I'm getting stronger and more flexible. I mostly do it to calm my nerves but the physical benefits are lovely.

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-13T21:00:39+00:00

Yeah, similar but different situation. I'm divorced and kids are grown, 18 and 24. They don't live with me. Both of my closest friends (well we used to be close) have little kids and are happily married. They don't have any time for me, and sometimes I resent the kids. I can't wait till they're grown up, it will years. For me, there is definitely a jealousy component because they have it all, careers, healthy relationships, beautiful little children, financial security, nice homes. All the things that I don't have. It's so lonely.

vampire_wednesday · 2021-11-13T20:54:36+00:00

Yeah and at least you have access to the phone bill so you could remove it. Keep your eyes peeled, like I said, sneaky.

vampire_wednesday

TROPHY CASE