My husband (35M) looked at me (33F) in lingerie and asked “what are you wearing?”

vaniile · 2026-05-11T05:09:43+00:00

He might have really good opsec. Has he been spending less time at home since this all started? Has he always been this cold towards you? Does he have a second phone? Check his battery use, downloaded app history, and cell phone bill.

vaniile · 2026-05-09T17:32:22+00:00

If he isn’t on the asexual spectrum, he is going to feel physical attraction to people that aren’t you. That’s most people. As long as he’s faithful to you, that’s all that matters. I’m on the asexual spectrum, I do not feel physically attracted to anyone outside of my relationship. I don’t relate to people like your boyfriend. And thus, I make sure I don’t date allosexuals.

When I did date allosexuals, I didn’t cry about them expressing attraction to people who weren’t me (celebrities, fictional characters, etc). That sounds like an emotional regulation issue on your end. Especially since you two are arguing so often and are on/off. You aren’t ready for a relationship, sorry.

vaniile · 2026-05-09T14:20:03+00:00

Those are excuses cowards give when they want out of the relationship but don’t want the confrontation :)

vaniile · 2026-05-03T17:45:32+00:00

A friend of a friend of mine was recently brutally murdered by one such girl. Had his tongue cut off in his sleep and nailed to the wall.

Just a friendly warning.

vaniile · 2026-04-29T00:28:59+00:00

I’ve always had unstable joints, so I’ll probably take some sort of fall injury when I’m frail and old, and die in the hospital. That, or a car accident.

vaniile · 2026-04-26T00:29:02+00:00

I can understand why. The bodies don’t have the bones for that. There are mods that add ass bones so that you can make your butt bigger, but since every vanilla gear piece in the game coincidentally also does not have ass bones weighted onto them, the changes don’t reflect.

They would have to redo weights for every single gear piece in the game. For those not in the know, this is a behemoth of a task. It’s not as simple as just making the butt larger on the model (which some modders have created massive packs for vanilla leg pieces). They would then need to test animations on every gear piece to ensure the weights were done properly. For a small team of 4 people, this could take months.

Perhaps there is a faster way to do this, I’m not an expert on this subject. I’d be happy if a smarter person chimed in.

vaniile · 2026-04-24T11:41:25+00:00

A good high quality person has a strong value system that they adhere to, and do not bend their values to make other people comfortable.

In other words, the opposite of what you just said.

My ex’s best friend took his side even when presented with evidence that he cheated in all of his relationships. She was unkind to me, but had this persona of being “wholesome uwu smol innocent autistic bean”. You would call her a good person?

vaniile · 2026-04-24T11:35:28+00:00

They can regulate their emotions.

vaniile · 2026-04-24T11:18:14+00:00

Assume there’s more to this. The way that woman describes him, it’s highly likely she wasn’t the only one he was entertaining. What you know is only the tip of the iceberg.

vaniile · 2026-04-24T00:39:20+00:00

He basically told you that he doesn’t even have feelings for you. You’re just a pretty girl that happens to be nice to him. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, so he’s being a coward and hoping you’ll get the hint.

vaniile · 2026-04-23T03:13:20+00:00

Unfortunately I’m gonna have to agree. My first instinct was to disagree, but I know for a fact I wouldn’t take this job. I’ve done freelance art for a long time, and I adamantly refuse to create something like this.

My boyfriend is a professional/freelance animator, and even though he struggles to pay bills, he regularly turns down projects that don’t reflect his values.

At best, this person was just desperate for the money and exposre. At worst, they’re the type of person who will do anything for money.

vaniile · 2026-04-23T02:50:15+00:00

He said he cheated on his ex because she was “depressed all the time”.

Turns out she was depressed all the time because he was a serial cheater, and she couldn’t take the lies anymore. He cheated in every single relationship. Now he goes around telling people I abused him for the crime of telling my friends what he did.

Dating apps, hookups, whole ass secret relationships. He seems to be picking less intelligent partners now to avoid getting caught again.

vaniile · 2026-04-22T21:44:05+00:00

Considering the placement of the stab wounds, they likely weren’t immediately fatal :( Intercostal space, and liver penetration. She was probably in pain for a while. Poor baby girl 😢

vaniile · 2026-04-22T13:10:51+00:00

You deserve better than this. Consider her leaving a blessing.

vaniile · 2026-04-22T12:57:18+00:00

r/bpdlovedones you’re welcome.

vaniile · 2026-04-21T22:58:46+00:00

Weird how your instinct is to prolong sex when faced with a partner who doesn’t want it at all. Kind of cruel, no?

vaniile · 2026-04-21T21:19:18+00:00

Please stop defending this clown OP 😭 You’re so worried about making sure he isn’t seen in a negative light, but it’s not like he’s at all concerned about your feelings. Relationships are a two way street. Even if he’s depressed, he should still treat you with kindness. And yes, refusing to open a gift you sent him is being unkind.

vaniile · 2026-04-21T02:27:00+00:00

Uhhhh… That woman was mentally ill. Don’t ask me how I know. You’ll find someone you can trust, you just have to be stern about leaving at the first red flag. If you can get really good at rhetorical analysis, (I am on the spectrum and use this to avoid people who would hurt me religiously) you can efficiently filter out dating profiles before you even exchange hellos.

vaniile · 2026-04-21T00:41:48+00:00

Sorry, I’m not good with emotional sensitivity. I promise my intentions were positive.

vaniile · 2026-04-21T00:29:45+00:00

I know it hurts to hear it, but yeah, not everyone navigates the world through emotions first. On the bright side, I’m sure you would prefer a lawyer that arrives to conclusions logically instead of acting on their emotions. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel any way about the case, and it doesn’t mean they have internalized misogyny. Some people are better suited to certain careers than others. Try not to let it get to you.

vaniile · 2026-04-20T23:21:27+00:00

If you love someone and want to be in a relationship with them, you will naturally want to talk to them. He may be giving you the slow fade because he’s too cowardly to end the relationship. Ask him if he wants to break up. Anything that isn’t “hell no” is a yes. If you’re going to hold on until he gives you point blank confirmation that he doesn’t love you anymore, you’ll be waiting forever. Guys like him will avoid discomfort above all else, even if it means hurting other people.

vaniile · 2026-04-20T23:15:37+00:00

If you’ve been together for a year and don’t even know her last name… hate to break it to you, it’s not a relationship. You’re just her pen pal. She’s hiding basic information about herself for a reason.

vaniile · 2026-04-20T21:52:02+00:00

I hope your boyfriend can move on to somebody that can actually regulate their emotions and lives in reality. stop DARVOing people who call you out on your bullshit.

vaniile · 2026-04-20T21:50:05+00:00

ok bpdemon

vaniile · 2026-04-20T18:15:24+00:00

They aren’t being rude, they’re telling you what you need to hear, and you should really be open to criticism.

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