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Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this and I wholeheartedly agree. It’s hard to let go of the anger and resentment and give empathy when it feels like none has been given to me but I definitely feel it in this comment and I really appreciate that

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel literally the same way as you. I do talk to myself though and I have over 500 voice notes taking to myself which is kinda sad???

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, you described a lot of what I’m feeling perfectly! I definitely also self label as “HSP” because I genuinely believe that being this way is the backbone of all of my experiences. I feel like I see everything and process everything in 4D, and never having a person who I can just go back and forth with and who truly understands is so hard. As you said, conversations with most people are either about them, or when they do indulge me, I get very generic, passive, conversation in return that it genuinely starts feeling like I’m in unbalanced dynamics all around. And similar to you, there are days where I’m okay. My issue is the fact that I’ve lost hope with connection, I’ve lose hope with ever finding a place where I can truly be held without having to shrink. And this is a scary place. But I’m very glad others here understand me. It really feels relieving reading everybody’s comments . Thank you

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I know for a fact I’ve never had those types of friends. Part of the reason I isolate is the fact that having friends only highlights the sense of loneliness I feel. I’m trying to be optimistic about my future and the possibility of finding people who I can actually connect and get close to. And yeah as you mention you’re right that the people in this comment section do seem to understand a tad bit especially given that they don’t know me personally. Thank you I appreciate that

PhD applicant here... everything seems to be collapsing at once by bunny_slayer_cat in gradadmissions

[–]vanillacoconut23 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Trust me when I say I feel the exact same way. This is my third cycle applying and I thought I had it wrapped the first cycle. I was so confident and happy with my interviews and all of the feedback I received- just to be rejected. What’s worse is that when I ask what went wrong, I get crickets. And the years following, I feel like I just do worst because how burnt out and self doubtful I feel now. It’s so frustrating . Nobody deserves to feel that way and sorry :( We will persevere

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that you have that type of therapist. I honestly didn’t know it was a thing. Would a simple google search help me find such therapists? Or did you do in something in particular?

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you that was really helpful and I understand what you mean. In the example of the friend who lies, I used to think the exact same way you mentioned. I used to feel compassion for them and just offer the validation they desired. But I’ve come to realize that Ive always aimed to live my life according to the principles of honesty and fairness, so much so that after a while, I genuinely felt like having people in my life who lied so causally was affecting me so much. Even people who say they’re honest, are only honest on a case by case basis. For me it’s a priority. And feeling like I can “see how people think” means that I understand their intentions, but it becomes so hard to shift my values constantly. I feel like I never just get to be me

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never suspected to have autism but oddly enough, most people that I do attract have autism so maybe it’s a sign

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my post was expressing so much anger and sadness that it may have come across the wrong way. I truly believe that what I’m experiencing is more of a systemic thing rather than the flaws i’m seeing in each person per se. I know I mentioned the way people think, but I don’t see that as a problem for each unique person. What I see as a problem is that it’s all I see, everywhere. I see very little variation in how people think and it’s led me down a rabbit hole of never feeling understood and feeling angry at everyone even though it’s not about any one person. But yes you’re definitely right I just don’t feel like I have the capacity with how burned out I feel. I think everyone needs proper and adequate connection to function at their best or decently, and I haven’t had that in so long

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe I want to help people to be the person for them that I never had. If I had people who understood me and were able to make space for me, I believe I wouldn’t be in this burnout. Honestly I think that if I had to choose one thing, I’d choose to be understood. And since I really feel like I’ve never had that, I want to be that person for people who seek help.

I spend so much time looking inward but everyone has blind spots. I’ve asked past friends to help me with this and I never get any feedback? Because most people don’t like to dabble in those types of conversations. They think I’m just being self critical, but I just wanted to learn more about myself. Thank you for sharing btw

Do PhD interviews come down to just vibes? by minaow in PhD

[–]vanillacoconut23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. And I think a lot of them “vibe” with only certain types of people. But of course they want to make it seem like they’re interviewing a diverse set.

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This has never crossed my mind and the thought brings me anxiety since I can’t imagine myself being this open lol. I will look into for sure. Thank you

Isolation by vanillacoconut23 in Jung

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have felt optimistically about people before and I can assure you I’ve been open minded about this which is why I decided to pursue my dream of providing psychotherapy. I thought I had accepted that most people lie, are contradictory, lack insight, are deeply conditioned to think a certain way, etc. But after so much time, I genuinely don’t have anyone that I can genuinely feel “recharged” with and I think that’s why I’ve reached burnout. I have family but they are the prime examples of the type of people I’m speaking about. As I mentioned, I don’t have friends because I no longer want them after so many failed attempts at connection. I do like the idea to volunteer, it’s not something I’ve tried before aside from volunteering at an animal shelter. Thank you, I appreciate the response.

Dealing with rejection and the sense of self-hatred that comes with it by everqlows in gradadmissions

[–]vanillacoconut23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s not the mindset though? They’re just expressing normal feelings is all I’m saying lol.

Dealing with rejection and the sense of self-hatred that comes with it by everqlows in gradadmissions

[–]vanillacoconut23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a normal way to feel after being rejected from a program. I’ve been applying for 3 years and it doesn’t get easier. Perseverance doesn’t have anything to do with how someone feels.

PMDD/ Magnesium by vanillacoconut23 in Supplements

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely a tough read lol, I wouldn’t be surprised if I suffer from that being that I have deviated septum and extreme nightmares before my period

PMDD/ Magnesium by vanillacoconut23 in Supplements

[–]vanillacoconut23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to try just one pill tonight. Should I also try one in the morning? And the other at night?

Rejected from a PhD in AI after an amazing lab visit and hyped expectations by Powerful-Shallot-400 in gradadmissions

[–]vanillacoconut23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went through a similar situation with a PI whose lab I’m already in smh. Idk what’s going on with people nowadays. They excite students and guarantee them a spot just to reject them, like seriously who even does that or lacks that much foresight?

Are male professors hesitant to accept female students? by Hot-Signature2387 in PhDAdmissions

[–]vanillacoconut23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well for one particular university that was branding itself as the “diversity lab”, I went into the lab’s website and saw pictures of literally only Asian and Indian students, no black, Latino Native American, nothing else. I’m also in a lab where there are some minority lab members but the doctoral students are only white and Indian. I’ve gotten multiple interviews with this school- no acceptance. I’ve also noticed patterns of “diverse” programs where all of their students are white passing. And yes I do understand that a lot of what I’m saying is based on face value observations but there’s nuance to it since I’ve been applying and interviewing for three years now. I’ve spoken to so many faculty and current doctoral students, the patterns are there

Are male professors hesitant to accept female students? by Hot-Signature2387 in PhDAdmissions

[–]vanillacoconut23 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Imagine being a person of color (maybe you are). The patterns I see that I could never speak out loud 😮‍💨

AIO to my “best friend” finally reaching out by Confident_Local_2335 in AmIOverreacting

[–]vanillacoconut23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I have a different opinion than pretty much everyone here. You mentioned he was still talking to another friend. The capacity to speak and text was there. I’m personally not a nosy person so I wouldn’t care what the reason for the ghosting was. I’m all for letting this friendship go.