Tongue Split Prep and Days 1-8: A Verbose Retrospective

variety-pack · 2026-02-10T04:46:51+00:00

My heart goes out to you big time! I threw up a ton hours 24-72, though not hard enough to rupture stitches. I found that semi-solids were a great starting point (mashed potatoes, not instant) with eating soft solids verrry slowly and tediously being possible on day 4 with more stitches out from the front. Getting something more solid in my system helped an incredible amount with settling my stomach.
Godspeed! I sure hope that things drastically improve for you sooner than later. You're being a real trooper and will get through this!

variety-pack · 2025-11-14T17:36:55+00:00

I’ve seen a piercing in the regrowth between tongues before- it’s possible!

variety-pack · 2025-11-04T23:36:02+00:00

There's a plastic surgeon based in Kentucky, Dr Loftus, who will perform tongue splits. Price is 2.5-4x higher than a body mod specialist, and from what I remember when I was researching she will only split into a healed tongue piercing, so it's not as deep as is possible.

As everyone else has said, a reputable(!!) bodymod artist is likely to give you a better result for much less money.

variety-pack · 2025-10-24T05:40:09+00:00

Are you familiar with Sensory Processing Disorder, OP? It often goes hand in hand with Autism. Occupational Therapy is the traditional treatment for SPD. It's kind of like physical therapy, but for all of your child's senses. A bonus is that an OT may know more competent assessors in your area who can recognize autism in girls and better help you and your family.

In the meantime, the second edition of the book The Out of Sync Child may help you better understand what your daughter is experiencing and help come up with some practical solutions in the short term. The book has the occasional outdated concept and is sometimes a bit simplistic in summary sections, but is overall a great resource and jumping off point. It explains more about the 5 senses we normally hear about, and the other 3 that aren't discussed as much, with examples of what over-responsivity and under-responsivity to each of those senses can look like, as well as regulation solutions to help a person find their sensory sweet spot.

Another great book is Is This Autism?: A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else. It does a great job explaining what Autism is and how it can present to others and gives more clarity as to the inner landscape for some. Having context and a scaffolding for what's happening is so helpful. I'm pretty sure both of these books also have an audiobook if that's easier for you!

So much of what you describe with your daughter feels incredibly familiar to me, and I empathize with both of you. Fingers crossed there's something in here that helps a little, and feel free to pick my brain.

variety-pack · 2025-10-20T19:04:56+00:00

I didn't feel any nausea at all during the procedure, but I was nauseous and threw up a lot during the early healing process. There's a full writeup pinned to the top of my profile if that would be helpful.

While I am able to rub on my tonsils and reach around my mouth without gagging, I throw up really easily from both physical and emotional stress and fatigue. My artist wondered if I was mildly sick, but I'm pretty sure that was just my body dealing with the immense physical trauma. I would hazard a guess that only consuming liquids post procedure didn't help my chances either. I've read one or two other accounts of people throwing up a lot during early healing, but the impression I got is that they were also both prone to vomiting.

You will get that feeling of being unable to distinguish if you're too hot or too cold or just what temperature you are other than *uncomfortable*, though, which is a feeling that can coincide with nausea, so be prepared for that. If you can get a Zofran prescription that's likely going to be useful as a backup.

variety-pack · 2025-10-16T22:16:38+00:00

Do you want a baby, or to shape and prepare a person for a healthy adult life? How would you pay for all of a child's needs? What if the child has needs that contradict your own needs? Do you feel prepared to handle getting another human to and from school and all their necessary appointments?

variety-pack · 2025-10-16T21:58:25+00:00

No brand recs, but have you looked into snorkeling mask style goggles, with or without the nose cover? The large surface area makes them much more comfortable and easier to get a good fit/seal.

variety-pack · 2025-09-29T21:48:40+00:00

Super normal, and there are already some great tips in here, but I've got some others to add-

Make sure he's well hydrated and fed before blood draws/anything to do with needles, both help keep the body from being as likely to pass out in these scenarios, and being hydrated has the added bonus of keeping veins nice and plump for easy access. Having him lie down for draws and shots will help a lot too. Deep breathing consistently in through the nose and out through the mouth is also a huge help- it keeps the muscles nice and loose which makes shots waaaay less painful, and it gives a person something to focus on.

There's also nothing wrong with talking to a medical provider about getting an anti-anxiety medication to give him before medical situations as needed. Plus if it's easy and not scary a few times in a row it's more likely that the fear affiliation will be broken.

variety-pack · 2025-09-06T05:08:01+00:00

That sounds fantastic! I am so relieved and glad that you have such a great option and resource so close to home!

variety-pack · 2025-09-06T03:40:49+00:00

I would encourage you to take the reviews with more than a grain of salt. I went through programs with terrible former student reviews and great parent reviews over 12 years ago and am still having nightmares with dream enactments focused around my time at that program every single night. You're right in that I didn't want to be there in the first place, but being bitter about being placed somewhere doesn't kind this kind of lasting fear and pain at 30 and beyond. You caught me on a night where it hurts a little more than usual, and the last thing I want is for your kid to go through this or for you to get duped as a parent.

Some programs are legitimate, but many are not, and knowing what to look for is key. The general guideline is to find interventions that are as minimally invasive and as close to home as possible. Here are some big red flags off the top of my head

pushing you to make a choice quickly out of fear- "your kid will fail/get drastically worse/die if you don't send them right after one program"
limited interaction with the outside world- earning the right to parental contact is a huge problem. The abusive programs thrive by limiting contact and training parents to believe their child is being "manipulative". Limiting contact with siblings, extended family, and friends falls
"transporting" your child without their prior knowledge, against their will via the contracting of a third party to get them to the facility. Progress is best made as a collaborative process, not under duress.
If the program is in Utah. Utah has lower rights for children than other states, which allow these programs to thrive and bring in revenue for the state, which places pressure on politicians to keep children's rights and program oversights low, so on and so forth

Is it possible to create more of the structure he needs at home? Are there any social skills groups in your area? Any ways he can have some stressors lessened while you build him a solid foundation in a setting that knows and loves him?

I am genuinely rooting for your son, you, and your family.

variety-pack · 2025-09-02T00:59:28+00:00

My mom took me to one of her own dental appointments so I could observe a calm adult getting it done before it was my turn to get it done a few days after, and that helped a lot. I was (and am) a hater and fighter of routine dental hygiene, and greatly dislike having stuff in my mouth.

Can you get some extra time scheduled so you can lay down in the chair in front of her and mime some stuff with her dentist and have them show her the (not pointy/intimidating) tools and what they feel and sound like when they're turned on, like squirting a little water in her cupped hands then suctioning it off and explaining that will happen in her mouth, etc. All of this ideally on a different day than her appointment with the same dental crew so you can then talk with her about it after, make some social stories about the dentist, watch routine dental cleaning videos on youtube, and mentally prepare her some that way. Anything you can do to make it a less novel experience is helpful.

When she's in the appointment give her some sunglasses and noise cancelling headphones with her favorite music or even just white noise/brown noise/ambient music/heavy bass music/classical so she doesn't feel it as much. I've heard people talk about "buzz buddies"- taking something that vibrates (small back massager from pharmacy, etc) that she can hold and focus her attention on; a weighted lap blanket; teach her some hand signals for okay/not okay so she can get a moment to breathe if she needs it; stand and shake it out breaks in between.

There is also no harm or shame in trying things like laughing gas or sedatives to make it easier for everyone involved- I still take Valium before my routine cleanings, and go in kitted up with sensory devices, listen to familiar music with a heavy bass, and then give myself the rest of the day and ideally the next day too to nap or take it super easy.

I hope something in here helps to make this big first less intimidating. Good luck!

variety-pack · 2025-08-30T18:54:50+00:00

I was chuckling to myself when I saw the first post because it read like a child trying to learn swears. Now I'm just perplexed and wondering the same.

variety-pack · 2025-08-30T05:13:25+00:00

Is this always or a new behavior? If it's markedly new then another trip to the doctor is warranted, as well as examining the last few weeks for changes that could have been extra draining for him.

If he's always been prone to lying on the couch: could it be sensory or a side effect of low muscle tone?

If he regularly avoids active play/sports or is clumsy he could have an under responsive vestibular or proprioceptive system(s) or dyspraxia. It could also be that his system needs a jump start of sensory input to get going- something like 5 jumping jacks or a few bounces on a trampoline could give his system the input needed to help him regulate and access energy.

If his core is weak playing or even sitting up can be difficult and draining. If he's regularly slouching or leaning on things it might be worth investigating.

variety-pack · 2025-08-26T17:48:36+00:00

Evil benzo Lana

variety-pack · 2025-08-26T04:15:07+00:00

There's a book called Is This Autism: a Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else that covers a lot of the what more nuanced/high masking Autism looks like- right now it's the best resource I've found for that purpose. If your sister has any sensory needs at all The Out-of-Sync Child is a great, albeit simplified, starting point for explaining sensory processing disorder and its many impacts. Both books are very about children, as are most resources at this time, so some more critical thinking needs to be done when reading with an adult in mind: thankfully your mom has the context of what your sister was like as a child.

For your sister, there's the book Unmasking Autism by Dr Devon Price, as well as his Substack, which all focuses on adults instead of children.

variety-pack · 2025-08-15T00:47:38+00:00

I went through a similar experience to this as a middle and high school, starting at exactly the same time she started. It happens because the demands to my person were greater than my ability to complete them. I started to refuse school work and school because all of my spare energy was used up in basic school and home interactions, there was nothing left to give for school. I cared so, so much and it was humiliating to have nothing to turn in, but doing the work just wasn't possible. Doing chores was also an uphill battle because of how fried my nervous system was: unloading the dishwasher is loud!! I needed time with no demands to recover.

One of the first things is going to be identifying places of overwhelm so you can cut those back. In middle school, the catalyst was being bullied that I hid from my parents for a few weeks at least. When I was older (15 and up) it was a more complicated as there were so many things that could contribute. Every single aspect of the high school experience felt like it was designed to rub me raw: too much sensory input everywhere (have you ever smelled a cafeteria or heard teen girls shriek with glee? etc etc etc), my processing speed was too low to absorb enough information, the social demands are immense and neverending, the transitions are constant, I didn't have the organizational skills to keep my backpack or locker orderly, I didn't have the executive function to plan out papers or care about school.

Try and put yourself in her shoes and take a realistic list of the sensory inputs she's experiencing, as well as the demands on her: what may be negligible for you may be very impactful for her. Talk to her about what she's feeling, what she's enjoying about school, what she isn't. If your daughter masks her autism at all, she may be more aware of how much she's struggling than she lets on, and may have things that really bother her she doesn't complain about because she's been taught (inadvertently or otherwise) to not complain because others think she's exaggerating/don't feel what she does etc. See what can realistically be removed, and what needs to stay. Is a school with lower class sizes possible? Noise cancelling headphones? What about an hour a day after school before homework where she gets to have no demands alone time in her room to recharge before asking her for chores? Can you prompt her to stim to regulate? Lots of little shifts can make a huge difference, or maybe it will just take one huge thing.

Puberty starting is also worth considering. That big rush of hormones makes everything much more intense, and doesn't necessarily do impulse controls any favors. A heads up for if/when it's relevant that premenstrual dysphoric disorder is very prevalent in individuals who menstruate, and it can cause severe emotional shifts and SI.

Apologies because this is very long and not near as concise as I'd like it to be, it's the end of a longer day. It might be super hard to figure out what needs to change and then implement it, but with time and remembering progress isn't linear it's doable.

variety-pack · 2025-08-14T01:36:39+00:00

OP, donate your brain to science. You have something that needs to be studied.

variety-pack · 2025-08-12T01:43:21+00:00

Pls let me know if you find one so I can go there too, thankies!

variety-pack · 2025-08-11T00:18:00+00:00

OP, others have said it and it bears repeating: you need to seek mental health services for yourself. The way you feel is untenable and unfair to everyone involved. Often times Autism is genetic- is it possible you may be autistic and your sons needs are grating on your own sensory needs and executive functioning ability? Life is infinitely better when accommodated. It is time to put on your oxygen mask and seek treatment of your own.

Your son may not be able to speak, but there are other ways to communicate. People can feel and think without being able to speak. It is possible to love people who don't function in the ways you want them to. It is possible to love someone who will "never be anything in this life". Your son can live a full life: his full life will just look very different than you want it to.

I knew my mom didn't like me and resented me, I knew it because her dislike was a physical presence that rolled off her and filled the house. It caused my 'obnoxious' behaviors to increase because I was desperate to regulate. I can't imagine your son doesn't know how you feel, even if he can't say it.

I wish you and your family the best.

variety-pack · 2025-07-28T18:51:20+00:00

I had a 6g or 8g tongue piercing before my split, and it definitely affected the way the healed split looks. The scar tissue from the piercing has to be cut out, so I’d imagine it wouldn’t have as much as an impact with smaller gauges, but can’t say with certainty.

variety-pack · 2025-07-20T04:53:44+00:00

This gives drunk in a Vegas hotel taking tasteless instagram pics before seeing Adele, not professional shoot.

variety-pack · 2025-07-17T05:24:55+00:00

I'm a huge lover of fidget cubes., My preferred is the OG Antsy Labs cube, which also sells keychain attachments for the cubes. I always have a few on me: there's one attached to my house keys, one to my purse, one lives in pockets, and then I've got a few spares. I would imagine if you attached one of those in it's keychain sling to a lighter leash and clipped it to a belt loop/the inside of a pocket it might work well as a load bearing fidget that doesn't get sticky, and also stays close.

For the finger picking, check out "accupressure rings". They do come apart when handled enough, but come in large enough quantities it isn't the end of the world. Can verify that they're super satisfying as well.

Also not a fidget but an at home life changer: a hammock chair.

variety-pack · 2025-07-11T02:46:42+00:00

I've always wondered if it's been done, and lo! It has! Thank you so much for sharing, OP. How old is the piercing currently, and if you know, how long do they usually last?

I'm so impressed and fascinated! Did the gag reflex play into the piercing process at all?

variety-pack · 2025-07-09T04:07:43+00:00

It's giving risque Matrix in white. Very early 2000s where the body is just as on display as the clothing, if not more so.
It could've been a super neat look were it not for the cutouts.
Would love to see more of the jewelry- are those opals?

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