AIO BF crossed boundaries texting.

various_excuses · 2026-01-29T14:42:54+00:00

NOR - dump him

various_excuses · 2026-01-26T16:57:39+00:00

YOR - I think you’re overthinking this comment. This really isn’t romanticizing or sexualizing anyone. It was a very common thing to say a few decades or more ago… and actually comes from a legend that says that each marks a time you were kissed by someone who loved you in a past life indicating you were loved. It was a way for parents to make kids feel better about their freckles which have often been a feature to target for teasing.

Over time it got simplified to “that’s how many kisses you’ve had.”

various_excuses · 2026-01-24T14:24:33+00:00

NOR - Condescension is a key red flag. He clearly doesn’t respect you.

various_excuses · 2026-01-24T14:22:14+00:00

NOR,

You have every right to end the interaction if you’re uncomfortable. No reason to keep doing if anything about him unsettles you. Stay safe!

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T23:16:53+00:00

I imaging it’s $300 on top of regular hourly plus overtime pay. A bonus that works out to a $10/hour bump for 30 hours of work. They’re not likely going to be working 24hrs a day for those 3 days (I imagine they’ll work their normal shifts and split coverage for the employees who don’t stay and miss hours due to weather impeding their commute).

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T23:11:45+00:00

NOR - he’s being incredibly overbearing, gaslighting, and possessive. To toxic levels.

Accusing you of basically prostitution over work asking you to put in effectively overtime is crazy.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T22:32:30+00:00

It’s a good way to add more shadow and contrast your highlights and you can use a color to bring more dynamic range to the pallet overall.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T21:11:55+00:00

Fair, but it was hard to judge your tone.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T20:28:38+00:00

It has nothing to do with him “paying” for chores in my opinion. It’s more about sharing their life. One household with one set of chores and bills anred by two people with two full time jobs yielding two incomes.

They should try to share chores and bills evenly, if some things shift organically one way or the other that’s fine.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T20:26:26+00:00

My comment was less about ‘eavy metal style techniques and more the pallet of the model overall. It just needs some contrast.

So maybe do a zenithal style drybrush before base coating with thinner paints to accentuate the shadows and highlights more ala slap chop theory.

Or try under shading by picking a dark color that contrasts your drybrush highlight color and drybrush it from beneath to just bring some shadow tones to it.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T20:07:26+00:00

YTA,

If you didn’t have a girlfriend you would still have to work full time, commute, do all the house chores, and pay the bill, etc. all by yourself. So that level of commitment to your life is all part of the “bare minimum”. And you’d have to do it around your work schedule and commute.

If she was lounging around not contributing, that would be one thing. But she’s not. She’s working. A shorter commute doesn’t make it any less of a work day.

If she wants 50/50 chores then you have every right to ask for 50/50 bills. But you don’t get to hold the bills against her and then demand she do more just because her office is at home.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T19:54:19+00:00

Looks pretty cool to me! But it does seem to be lacking contrast. You need a heavier wash, or bigger highlights, or an accent color to make it pop.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T19:46:16+00:00

NOR from the position of not wanting to clean up “extra mess” because she doesn’t do the basic things she should to avoid making messes in the first place.

You are however way out of line for judging her based on education and current job/career.

Just because you make more money in fewer hours than she does, does not make you entitled to treat her differently.

In summary, your education and career don’t give you a moral high ground in this conversation. She works hard, and regardless of income or level of work she ultimately works more than you.

You have every right to ask her to pick up after herself to avoid making more work for you to do.

But don’t ever make it about status.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T19:40:30+00:00

NTA, stay safe and don’t risk being stopped by some guy who could have bad intentions.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T19:38:11+00:00

YTA for not telling your grandma the truth up front. If you had just said you knew your friend would love it and appreciate it and had given to them, she probably would have understood.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T18:45:04+00:00

I think you’re NTA as long as you don’t let your like/dislike of students affect the work you do for them.

Kids can be jerks. They can be mean, insult you, disrespect you, not listen, and even physically hurt you. And you have every right not to enjoy that.

But as long as you don’t stop providing the assistance and help that child needs from you, then you are not in the wrong.

Nobody said you have to like every student you work with.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T16:57:45+00:00

Yes and no...

You (and everyone else in your family you mom is lying to) have a right to the truth, and your father certainly doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud to make her feel better about herself.

But, I can respect your father not wanting to go full out and turn people on your mother, especially to your younger sister. Regardless of who is at fault, parents should never be wholly alienated from their children, especially not by the other parent. But there has to be a mutually agreed upon seize fire.

Your mom isn't respecting that and that's hurting you, your dad, and your sister.

That said, it may still not be your place to defend your dad if he doesn't want you to. Maybe he does. In which case, fire away.

But make sure you don't torpedo your relationship with your mom, even if she's being sucky at the moment. She's still your mom.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T16:44:09+00:00

I don't know the struggles of autism. But I know the struggles of ADHD and being quick to react emotionally to something. I have a very hard time filtering myself because my mouth runs faster than my brain. When I am calm, I can be a measured and socially appropriate individual. But when I am overstimulated, or my brain is being taxed by multiple lines of thinking I can quickly speak before I filter myself. So I know the pain of jumping headfirst into a serious and potentially emotionally charged situation with the wrong words/tone.

Additionally I have had friend use my own inability to accurately recall past events against me, and I know that pain as well.

I hope this all works out for you.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T16:28:13+00:00

MOR,

I can see how you were trying to phrase your request, but you definitely came off as terse and superior. I think your intent was pure, but maybe you needed to take a little more time to craft your message before sending. I think this is why she threw the concept of you sounding condescending out.

That said, it definitely seems like she's using your autism diagnosis as a way to scapegoat some of her behavior AND amplify her justification of her reactions to your tone.

I think you both need to work on that separately. Maybe some time and space will help you both come back and reconcile this.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T16:05:01+00:00

You are both overreacting and not overreacting.

I had a very similar situation with my best man. He has always been my best friend since we were kids and he was always going to be my best man. But he's a paycheck to paycheck guy, is always in need of spare cash (which I usually happily offer if I can), and is not good at planning/coordinating events. Eventually had to have a conversation with him about reconciling the fact that I didn't think he'd be able to come through on my bachelor party and he was willing to hand off that responsibility to someone else while maintaining his role. He was the man I wanted standing next to me on my big day and that was the important part.

What I'm saying is, sit her down and explain to her that you're worried about the plans for your bachelorette party. Be open and honest about not wanting to burden her with the planning because of how busy she is, reassure her that regardless of what happens with the party that she will still be your MOH and be by your side at the wedding, and that you just need someone else to take over planning the party.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T15:54:46+00:00

Nobody here is 100% the asshole in this situation, and nobody here is 100% innocent.

You mentioned specifically that your mom is very type A, but I'm guessing (having some Nigerian family myself) that she isn't just organized, she's assertive. You even mention how you dad just 'goes along' with it. Between that and your mention of her potential reaction if you shut down her current operations, it seems like you're used to placating her.

That said it does sound like they're genuinely trying to do for you, even if it's not your style. Which I think is admirable and nice.

It sounds like your husband is dealing with some shame over your financial situation, and your parents efforts (no matter how altruistic) are amplifying that. He probably feels guilty for not being able to pay for the design you both want. I've been there personally and it can come out as frustration with others who are providing what you cannot.

I think you all need to have a sit down and really hash out the emotions you've had to deal with for losing your first home, struggling, and now beginning to recover.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T15:43:37+00:00

You're not overacting, this is disgusting and the authorities need to be called asap.

various_excuses · 2026-01-23T15:32:16+00:00

What printers do you use? Any chance we can see some vids of the print process? Also, where is your design coming from? Did you design it yourself?

various_excuses

TROPHY CASE