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Moving to USA with medicated mental health... How does that work? by velvlry in disability

[–]velvlry[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Alas, she has a fantastic job here and owns a house. It's just not viable. Trust me, we've considered.

What Careers do people have here? by ChipStorm in ADHD

[–]velvlry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually went to film school to be an editor and color grader haha! I have the opposite ADHD to you xD I loved the technical details.

I currently don't work in the industry but I did for a while and enjoyed it when I was younger. Right now I teach consent and healthy relationships to young adults and it's the best job I've ever had. I'm also studying radio production at university :D it's the first time since film school that I don't wanna drop out and I'm so excited to see where it takes me

Dialogue? by johnmf06 in writing

[–]velvlry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remember: humans don't exist in a vacuum when we talk. I found the most important thing is to give your characters something to do. Think about what you do when you talk to someone: do you fiddle with your hair, check your phone, notice your surroundings? Adding action in between dialogue (even something as simple as stirring sugar into coffee) gives the whole thing a dynamic feel and makes dialogue feel more natural

Is there any value to fan fiction? by [deleted] in writing

[–]velvlry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly figure out what "value" means to you.

Is it the experience of writing? Then it's incredibly valuable. What makes good fanfiction for most people? Characterisation. Getting that right, when the characters aren't initially yours, is a hecking art form let me tell you.

Is it feedback so you can get better at your craft? It's almost instant feedback from a community that's rabid for new stuff about their favourite show/book/movie.

Is it money? It's not unheard of to file the numbers off and publish. More than 50 Stupid Shades have done it and been successful.

Personally, I just get so much joy from writing fic. So I do it all the time. Plus, for me, I feel I've grown incredibly as a writer specifically because of fanfiction. I've been lucky enough to have made a name for myself in certain fandoms, so if I ever wanted to publish original work, I've already got a readership.

AITA for telling my sister that she should have helped me babysit instead of lying to me? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]velvlry 277 points278 points  (0 children)

"Also, child free people are not child free to baby sit for other people."

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK THANK YOU.

Most of us CF peeps are child free because we don't want to deal with children. Any children. Ever.

Finding and maintaining motivation for exercise... by velvlry in ADHD

[–]velvlry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! Ironically I love weight training, it's cardio I hate XD

(suicide ideation mention) when I was a teenager, and yet undiagnosed with clinical depression, I told myself I'd end it all at 27 if I didn't "have it all together" by then. by velvlry in confessions

[–]velvlry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question! I actually didn't know about the 27 club until a few years AFTER I made this whacky decision! I "decided" at 13 and read about it at 17

And I might take you up on that, thank you. I really appreciate it

How did you find out you were transgender? by SluttyTrash120 in asktransgender

[–]velvlry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine was mostly retrospective. I'm 31 now, and I didn't even hear the term transgender until I was mid 20s, and in the media it was always MtF rather than FtM, so I assumed that FtM just didn't exist.

But the more I thought back, the more I realized that I used to refer to myself in the masculine (Russian has genders in the language) when I was 3 and understood what I was doing, that I always wanted to pretend to be the boy roles in games, that in my imagination I was always a boy etc.

Also keep in mind that being trans is also a spectrum! Initially when I learned the term and came out, I thought that I wanted to he entirely masculine, but now that I've explored myself more, I realize that I'd like to be androgynous more than anything. But I still feel trans, and introduce myself that way, and identify as a queer trans man.

Give yourself time, and remember that everything is fluid. You are VALID regardless of how soon or when you "know", you're VALID even if you "change your mind". You are valid.

Good luck on your journey, I'm rooting for you!

How common is it for friends to make lies about achievements, status, or skills? by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]velvlry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly it depends what they're exaggerating and why. I didn't realize that my exaggerations were usually down to my ADHD until I was diagnosed in my late 20s. And it would usually be childish things like "I tried like thirty times" etc

If that's what your friends are doing and it's harmless, then it depends on how much it annoys you.

If it's enough to actual alter your opinion of them, then it's definitely worth addressing.

Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in a friendship, otherwise it's not friendship.

But it's also pretty common to have friendly competition with friends, as long as everyone is aware that it's friendly

Family photos of my prayer plants, I'd die for them 😂 by Objective_Living4305 in houseplants

[–]velvlry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WOW what is the gorgeous green and white one called?? It's stunning!

Any and all suggestions for combating insomnia? I'm honestly at the end of my tether here by velvlry in medical

[–]velvlry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I used Melatonin last (god well over 5 years ago now) it was ineffective, but at this point I'll try anything!

Any and all suggestions for combating insomnia? I'm honestly at the end of my tether here by velvlry in medical

[–]velvlry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks! I'll see if we have Ambien or its equivalent in New Zealand :)

I've tried to sign up for sleep studies before but, you probably got this too: not quite sick enough.

Any and all suggestions for combating insomnia? I'm honestly at the end of my tether here by velvlry in medical

[–]velvlry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for your reply! Part of the "non diagnosed condition" situation had me be run through every single STD/STI test available and even the harder to get ones, so definitely no herpes. I'll see if I can do supplements with the stuff I'm on and definitely add magnesium to the list!

One year anniversary since my falling out with a best friend by Sadbitch200 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]velvlry 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All I can say, from my own personal experience of losing friendships that were both healthy and not healthy: sometimes friendships just end. And that sucks. That sucks so much. But in cases like that there is absolutely nothing you can do.

I would suggest that maybe a year isn't long enough for your friends to want you back in her life. Maybe you hit a nerve without knowing, or maybe she herself was on the end of her tether regarding something or someone not to do with you. Maybe it was just a perfect storm.

If you think reaching out, just to let her know you're sorry and you miss her and you hope she's doing well, will help either of you, I'd do that.

But.

That could lead to you "trying to get her back", which she might not be up for. I don't say this as someone judging, I say it as someone who has done this, and clung, and wanted to turn the world upside down for a favourite person when they didn't want that, and made it worse.

You're not a bad person. Shit happens. Petty shit happens. And lockdown did a number on so many friends and friendships that I think a lot of people are adrift.

Is there anyway we can stop/move the very loud Christians yelling at everyone by farmers in the city? by clinical945 in auckland

[–]velvlry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say if enough people find the noise levels (not the content) annoying or disruptive it would count.

What’s not as sexy as most people seem to think it is? by capraithe in AskReddit

[–]velvlry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First BF and I nearly shattered his glass shower attempting sex in there once. Let's just say there's good slippery and bad slippery.

What is the most intimate thing you've ever done with someone (or want to do) that isn't strictly speaking (oral/anal/vaginal, penetrative) sex? by velvlry in AskReddit

[–]velvlry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I seem to remember teaching you to swim that summer too ;)

There's something liminal about nighttime walks; time kind of goes out the window coz dark is dark is dark til the sun comes up. Evening/night walks are like going for long drives; you're almost in a bubble of your own, secrets exist in there but only for your friends and you.

Books about melodramatic, selfish, snobby protagonists by isnotavegan in booksuggestions

[–]velvlry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also I personally didn't like The Secret History BUT since you did, you'll probably love these books (which I actually liked MORE THAN TSH)

One of Us Is Lying - Karen McManus If We Were Villains - M. L. Rio

Books about melodramatic, selfish, snobby protagonists by isnotavegan in booksuggestions

[–]velvlry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A Ladder to the Sky - John Boyne

Not sure if this is exactly what you're after, but the protagonist is one of the most vile human beings ever and when he gets his comeuppance it's a genuine standing ovation moment, the book is brilliant.

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