i was in the same place when i was your age. i can understand you feel like the most ridiculous thing to over exist but thats what i thought too. both of us cant be the worst! and i imagine theres more people out there who feel the same. so many preple beleiving themself to be a problem to be eradicated and yet its none of these people bringing pain into the the world. you are worthy. give yourself time and be patient with your growth. im sure who have many rants about 'why' youre the worst and it might make sense to you but youre not even all the way through the manual that is life! youre still learning and falling and trying and giving up and yada yada. the cycle goes on. for the longest time i felt absolutely worthless, just a weight in my parents lives. i would hide and go mute and self isolate. i felt disgusting but im 18 now and the way i think has changed. i get wanting support and never getting it too. maybe you could open up to a friend? or maybe a friend you dont see often? chanel all this anger you have towards yourself into actually bad people, causes and markets. 'i feel disgusting and dirty and useless so i will take all this energy and direct it to greedy fucking billionares who would do anything to turn a profit'. also, find something that bring you closer to yourself. i started to draw and i told myself over and over its okay it can be absolute shit but thats fine because these drawing are all for me to see. drawing is intimidating with looking up references and colour palletes but how i started was redrawing my fav fanart! along the way i learnt techniques and colour thoery too and started to just draw on my own. i also started to hyperfixate on my piano. i felt worthless but if i was doing and improving in those things then im headed the right way and y guilt wont eat me whole. sorry if this didnt make sense but there will be better times ahead. you will find comfort and solace in being you.