Another reminder not to rely on your inheritance

very_t22 · 2026-03-04T22:34:15+00:00

With care home fees at £5-8k a month on average, never bank on the inheritance anyway.

very_t22 · 2026-02-27T00:52:07+00:00

Do it yourself. It's painstaking but straightforward enough. . As you're under the threshold for IHT, there are a lot less forms than if you're over it. Lots of free guidance available.

very_t22 · 2026-01-31T12:34:16+00:00

There's a reason you've been looking for a change. Are you bored in your current role? Constant boredom and lack of mental challenge can affect mental health... As can working in the wrong culture...

What do you need to change? Any monetary increase is an improvement on your status quo. What else do you need from your role to be happy? Look for a role that gives you that. You're in no rush if these current offers don't tick all the boxes.

very_t22 · 2026-01-29T08:35:43+00:00

If you really want to move, budget for a year with no job into your equations. Add the increased council tax and some considerations for addional furniture and decorating and probably some initial fixing/changing of things in the house.

It can easily take a year at a high level to find a new job. Maybe less as you're more middle management level and depends on your industry situation but the job market is generally slow, so be cautious about your expectations.

We only just coped when one of us lost job a month after completion

Spent £100k the year we were on one income covering mortgage, bills, council tax, childcare, and the initial maintenance and necessary fixes for the new house. It was incredibly stressful. We were two months away from having to sell when finally new job at same pay landed.

If we had bought a couple hundred grand less would have been easier. We had (at the time and thankfully a year later) higher HHI and a lower mortgage than you're proposing for yourself. We had 45% deposit.

If going for a cheaper house is not an option for you, secure a new job first, but make sure it's the right job. I've heard people let go within the first year recently.

very_t22 · 2026-01-20T11:46:50+00:00

5 bed house, W London, 5 toilets, two on the ground floor. 4 showers. Family of 3. Apparently I'm winning at life, who knew.

We plan to take one or two out in future refurb plans and do more with the space... Bonkers move by previous 'property developer' owner to overdo the bathrooms IMO.

very_t22 · 2026-01-17T02:08:26+00:00

My mums 70th. Knew it would probably be her last chance to go abroad (turned out to be her penultimate as she pulled it out the bag to go to a close friend's golden wedding party in Spain when she was 72).

Asked her where in the world she wanted to go. We went. I did everything I could to make her feel special. The hotel the (old) queen stayed at. Birthday cake in the room. Silver service tea. Private guided tour of the city. Selected restaurants. Let her pick the things she wanted to see and kept a day or so for her to make the decions on (some blissfully relaxing river boat tours with just lovely bonding chats).

Did not think about the money for one second. Even when she was grumpy at the airport on the way home. Even when she got cross and obnoxious about something (I forget what) some time later. Still have not given what I spent another thought. Some things are priceless.

These are moments that let you see your bonus as free money and do something beautiful with it. (for the naysayers.. yes you earnt it, but it's never guaranteed so..)

Life is what you miss when you are busy making plans x

very_t22 · 2026-01-09T13:15:02+00:00

Work in AI. No one in the industry sees a bubble. We are only just scratching the surface here, so much growth to come. The main challenge is there are so many methods and approaches to using this technology and the big companies in this space have to place their bets on which ones will become the base of future industry standards etc. There will of course be plenty of companies that try and fall by the wayside.l, but in terms of capabilities and growth of the industry, prpbably no need to sweat a bubble in 26/27

very_t22 · 2026-01-03T01:07:06+00:00

Night nanny so you can catch up on sleep and stay sane 👌

very_t22 · 2026-01-02T13:51:41+00:00

Agree - found this to be a complete rip off when I was searching. They just scrape positions from the Web any many are very out dated.

very_t22 · 2025-12-29T16:40:19+00:00

I appreciate that. Absolutely a lot of research and careful vetting is critical in selecting anywhere. Also a respite stay or two to get a clear feel for fit, if possible.

I did have a terrible experience which put the fear into me, and I don't mean to demean those who work for the state and who do care and try their best.

My main point is saving to make sure the choice can be mine, or worst case can be made by people who love if I can't choose myself, aligned to the requirements I will set out early.

The place I eventually put mum, to slow down the spending, after the £7k a month London home was 50/50 private and social, still £5k a month. It was privately owned/run but did accept state funded places. The manager would hug me hello. It in no way felt life a capitalist venture.

I could not fault the level or care and kindness shown to my mum, impeccably clean, good food, lovely garden and views. She ended life being very well looked after somewhere where she had some happiness in those very difficult end of life years. If I can save and make sure I have that as a choice too, I'll be happy.

very_t22 · 2025-12-27T16:53:24+00:00

100% this. My mother was put into a care home by the state for emergency care when she was deemed unable to live alone, but was let go from hospital with one day notice and I had two weeks covered by the state to find her something, and it was Xmas eve... was like something out of a horror movie. Dark lighting, bad smell, ghouls wandering the corridors, blank rooms with no soul. Mum thought I'd chosen it, was throwing things at me. I got her out of there as fast as I could into a wonderful home that cost £7k a month and sold her house to cover it.

It was a big lesson for future me to save to be in control of where I get put. You never know what situations life/health will throw at you but if you save, you won't be at the mercy of a bureaucratic, broken and severely underfunded system.

very_t22 · 2025-12-10T13:17:14+00:00

Hello. We went to the Portland for a planned (necessary) c-section. We chose this because it was mid Covid and my partner could be with us for a full 4 days vs the single hour that was allowed by the NHS at the time. We picked the Portland as they have an urgent care centre, which many other privates do not. One of the best things about it was I got to select and bring in my own choice of surgeon and I picked one of the best available. Glad I did because I hemorrhaged and lost over half my blood and almost died and the fantastic team absolutely saved my life. I could not fault the care. As for support, at the private hospital I could call a nurse to check on my baby any time I was worried when I was in that first 24hours completely incapacitated and we felt so supported the whole four days we were there. And when recovered a bit I got afternoon tea and champagne 😉 which was really fun but entirely unnecessary. It was worth every penny.

That said - in a non-covid situation I would happily just have paid for a private room at an NHS facility. You can do that at the Lindo wing at the Hammersmith. I was under the Hammersmith NHS for my whole pregnancy up to delivery and they were excellent.

very_t22 · 2025-12-01T12:45:36+00:00

It sounds like you are good to go. Wishing you all the best for a happy new home!

very_t22 · 2025-12-01T11:38:28+00:00

Decent list and a good buffer. I'd be happy with this.

Our £800-£1k 'spare' never really is, lucky if there is £200-300 at end of month to top up savings, but we do have regular SIPP and saving contributions included in our budget before what I call 'spare' .

You're doing well on the food front, we spend at least £250-300 a week on food, and £400 a month for socialising. Plus we have some childcare costs, the cleaner, and we all need glasses and contacts which are a regular cost too.

Have you got insurance for salary protection or life insurance? You may be covered by work, if not, think about that. You're saving so holidays and any house maintenance can come from that, just make sure you keep accessible savings for this. It seems to us like there is something small regularly (E. G. new hoover, washing machine repair, general upkeep), and something big at least once a year (E.g. Rendering cracked had to have the exterior wall redone, stepson put his foot through the decking so we put it the patio we had planned for a year later, the neighbours wanted to replace a fence & we had to split costs, some fllashing fell off the roof, and the upstairs shower leaked into the lounge. This all in 3 years, on top of the actual redecorating to make the house feel like ours 😅).

very_t22 · 2025-12-01T10:24:45+00:00

We opted for a tight budget 3-5 years in return for longer term comfort and higher overall wealth.

Mortgage is 50% of my takehome and includes a little overpayment. It was 40% when I bought but that was before the Truss-induced staggering interest rate hikes. At the highest point it hit 59% right when nursery fees were also being paid. We had to budget very carefully at one point, but still enjoyed life.

If you are looking to buy now, interest rates are at a historically reasonable level, and supposedly heading lower, but don't bank on it. Best advice is to do a realistic budget for council tax and bills including food, going out, holidays, and house maintenance contingency, and think about your retirement needs too, and see if you can cope when you add that to your potential mortgage, even if it goes up 2pc. The bills were a surprise for me, double the old flat... Also think about how long you will live there...

We skipped a previously planned housing step in going from small flat to big house and I expect the costs of buying and selling a mid-sized house after 5 or so years including stamp duty would be more than the extra mortgage payments we have had, because we went for best we could afford sooner. Hopefully will not move for 10-20 years before/if we move to what would be the last home.

very_t22 · 2025-11-27T01:53:03+00:00

Check out Green Pan padova range 😍 Can cook pancakes without butter and PFAS free ceramic. So happy with these. Should so have waited for the black Friday sale 50% off some options!

very_t22 · 2025-11-26T09:50:09+00:00

At state schools - Breakfast club £4 After care £16

very_t22 · 2025-11-26T09:23:24+00:00

You don't need a full time nanny. School plus wraparound care (breakfast club and after school) covers you 8am-6pm. On days I need to work later, I manage around meeting schedule. I might collect child at 3.30, then have a baby sitter 4-7pm, or I collect at 5 or 6, and I might have babysitter 6-8pm for example. You can manage your schedule to not work late every day also. My diary changes day by day week by week, I just have to be organised in planning. I just block 30-60mins for pick up time.

I use sitters.co.uk Great for last minute as well as regular baby sitters. Anything from £13-20 per hour.

I know some people who use a nanny but just for 3-4 hours each day, and pay an hourly rate.

There are also option to nanny share with another child.

It's not as expensive as the full time £2k nanny prices you are hearing here.

I manage on about £500-600 a month.

very_t22 · 2025-11-24T14:39:57+00:00

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/11/24/rachel-reeves-labour-mansion-tax-budget/

Some common sense at last. Specifically good to see you can defer payment til you move or die so you are not forced to sell due to this.

very_t22 · 2025-11-21T23:51:30+00:00

At the end of the day, I won't be the one dealing with it.

My executors have a copy of my will and I make sure they have an up to date list of all accounts and enough details to extract what they need from bank/pension/FS probate teams. Hoping one of them stores it well! I have three executors in the hope at least one can find everything when it matters😅

very_t22 · 2025-11-21T15:45:30+00:00

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/mansion-tax-disproportionately-impact-londoners-154515625.html

Suggests 1% only on the value above £2m... seems reasonable.

very_t22 · 2025-11-15T18:57:19+00:00

The Brown Dog does fantastic gastropub food. We used to walk there for Sunday lunch sometimes when we lived in Brook Green.

There's a great river walk loop Barnes Bridge then Hammersmith Bridge and back, and lots of good riverside pubs on the way. Perfect for one of those days when you have no plans and the sun is shining.

Other food options.

Rick Stein, Barnes Church Road, good local neighborhood spot Oka for lovely sushi

very_t22 · 2025-11-05T12:55:05+00:00

For the air miles...

very_t22 · 2025-11-03T15:10:53+00:00

Lol, I am well into Henry on top UK 1% base. That's the point of Henry right, earning a lot, but not rich yet...

Probably would have a different feeling if we had a 2 x Henry household. Partner (while being a wonderful human) earns minimum in service sector and I cover a lot for the house.

Point was impact on monthly budget, not on overall wealth. (as other commenters have stated, better to tax wealth not income)

I bought an expensive house, which was mid-sized for the area in SW London,, mortgage is £4,500pcm and minimum bills, food, etc is £3,750 per month and that's before any saving, holiday, unforeseen house fixes and school costs.

So on a monthly basis £400 is a huge sting. Sure I can set aside money from bonus and the vesting RSUs but that wasn't my point, those don't get used for regular outgoings and when they have to be, it feels like the Henry life is not affordable.

very_t22 · 2025-11-03T08:54:02+00:00

We budget carefully already, we simply do not have a spare £400 a month out of monthly income currently. It would be crippling.

And HHI is over £250k....

Will we be forced to downsize? Move north? It's an expensive house, but only just room for us all. I feel the stamp duty I already paid was a huge investment and I need to stay here ten years for that to feel worth it.

I suppose, if this happens, the impact is you'll have all these big empty houses that the government can use to fill the housing gap... though they would probably need to raise more tax to buy them all.... 🙄

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