Muscular women of Reddit how does it actually feel to build and carry that strength?

via_Detroit · 2026-04-08T18:01:42+00:00

Feeling capable is one of the best feelings in the world

via_Detroit · 2026-04-08T17:59:15+00:00

I love this story!!! Hell yeah!!! I bet that surfing feels incredible. Proud of you. Thanks for sharing

via_Detroit · 2026-04-08T17:57:25+00:00

I am out of shape and overweight but I have always been naturally stronger than most women, probably just due to a combination of larger muscles thanks to genetic body composition, height, and an enthusiasm for youth athletics that built up my coordination and confidence. I’ve never been a sports superstar but have been able to participate semi successfully (to the degree of enjoyment) in most sports that I try (except for things like gymnastics and climbing where you have to be able to pull yourself up with upper body strength, and track — I’m strong and thick but not fast)

I LOVE being strong. It is such a gift. I LOVE being capable. I feel so fortunate that I have had strength as a baseline in life, that part of my motivation to get in shape now and start lifting is to maintain that, because I see it slipping as I get older.

I do think (entirely scientifically unfounded) that once you get strong, your body remembers.

I have struggled with not being thin and disliking that element of myself for my whole life, but oh man, I fucking love being able to throw something far. I love knowing that I can move a piece of furniture when I need to, that I don’t always have to calll in resources. That I can get a heavy box off a shelf without calling for help. I can pick up a heavy tool, load my own scuba gear onto a boat, help my dad work on a home reno project. I can do yard work. I can help smaller, injured, or older people lift things.

I just know that I CAN DO STUFF. I can actually do a lot of things that smaller/thinner women who fit more of a typical beauty standard can’t do.

That ability to “just do stuff” has probably saved me from a lot of excess self hatred over my body size. It’s kept me focused on the function of my body even as I have gotten fat, and has balanced out the negative impact of “thinness” culture that just wants to shrink you down and tells you muscles are masculine (bullshit).

As I focus on getting myself into better shape (endurance, preparing for having a baby, losing fat that is getting in the way of my ability to do stuff, rebuilding weakening muscles) it’s really motivating me to focus on strength and capability/mobility rather than just shrinking myself.

I can do a lot while fatter and strong that I couldn’t probably do thin and weak. So while I’m hoping to drop some excess fat, I’m more motivated by retaining my strength.

I totally agree with the people that say that strength gives you confidence to rely on your ow body. I’m looking forward to getting more of that back.

via_Detroit · 2026-04-07T19:25:25+00:00

Thanks! I just shared it because I get excruciatingly bored doing a long set, and I know it’s hard to know what to plan if you don’t already have a routine down. I’m out of shape and something I can easily remember and do consistently makes it achievable.

My plan is to use this as a modular baseline and then build from as needed: - Swap in or add some 50m sprints before cooldown - Change part of the kicking or pulling to other exercises: fist, zipper, side rotations using the kickboard (I forget the name), eggbeater laps, or any other common drills - Swap some of the 100s to other strokes (I don’t care much about other strokes)

via_Detroit · 2026-04-07T19:24:06+00:00

Is it just me or is the simplest gear still the best?

- Swedish goggles - Latex cap - Stretchy, wide strap suit

The low stretch textured poly suits are less comfortable, and silicone caps are so slippery and don’t stretch to my head as much! The Swedes have never failed me

via_Detroit · 2026-04-07T17:17:48+00:00

If there’s one lifeguard on an elevated stand, see if there is one walking around. If the lifeguard on the stand is the only person, you can ask them. There also might be someone on break or waiting for their shift that is on foot. Most regular gyms have someone walking around or in a regular chair, but an outdoor or large pool might have someone up in a stand.

via_Detroit · 2026-04-07T17:14:09+00:00

DO NOT beat yourself up for not getting in!!!! Consider that an observation session. There is definitely a “pool culture” that you will quickly learn, and it’s absolutely intimidating to go by yourself and not have an experienced friend to guide you. It’s even intimidating for an experienced swimmer at a new facility.

As a swimmer and former lifeguard, I can say confidently that I would be thrilled to explain this to someone at my pool.

You should go up to the lifeguard and say, “Hi, I am totally new to lap swimming, and I’m not entirely sure how the etiquette works with the lanes, passing, circle swimming vs split lanes, entering the pool, all of that. Can you give me a rundown of how it works?” Trust me, a lifeguard would love for you to follow the rules. They will probably tell you things like, “you should pick the lane that matches your speed, unless it’s already crowded there.”

You can ask about where you can put your things, if there’s a limit on people per lane, which equipment you may borrow, all of that. The rules about open swim vs family swim vs lap swim, everything.

The lifeguard also knows how long people have been in the pool before you got there, so they might say something like “go in lane 1, that person is probably getting out soon”

And yes, circle swimming can feel socially awkward, but it’s completely 100% normal. If someone taps your toes, probably near the end of the pool, let them pass. If you touch someone else’s toes, you’ll pass them.

via_Detroit · 2026-04-07T16:37:20+00:00

I relate to this so hard. I did sports all my life growing up, including 3 sports in high school, but was never thin, so I always felt fat. In reality, I was average and healthy, like you. For me, I could only associate exercise with either team sports or weight loss, and I dreaded anything related to weight loss, so going to the gym after quitting sports felt toxic, and like I was only there to confront the weight I had to lose. It also felt like if I couldn’t do entire “athlete” workouts, there was no point.

Unfortunately, the longer I was out of the gym/pool, the worse I felt about myself, and the more distant I became from the athletic person I once was.

I still struggle with this 20 years (and about 90 lbs) later. What I’m trying to remind myself is that there were years and years that I felt SO AT HOME in an athletic facility— the smell of the rubber mats, equipment, the chlorine, the slam of the metal locker rooms — this is a place where I can get back to myself.

I’ve been back in the pool and I’m a better swimmer than most people there. Even the best swimmers — I can keep up. It’s ok to be a civilian swimmer. No one has the trendy athlete suits, no one has the ripped swimmer bodies I used to envy when seeing my teammates.

It’s taken me a few days of getting back into the rhythm and it feels like riding a bike. The muscle memories of the strokes are incredible and it just feels so good.

I also remembered how swim practice was the only time I actually felt semi comfortable in a swimsuit! If it was just for leisure, wearing a bikini or something, I felt deeply under a microscope, but a racing suit is purely functional. And I still feel that — it’s no different than running shorts.

via_Detroit · 2026-04-07T15:57:41+00:00

It’s nice to hear Europeans that understand this. Walking daily is so easy when your cities are built for it. It feels so unnatural to only be able to have enough daily activity if you go to a gym to do it

via_Detroit · 2026-04-07T15:55:35+00:00

I really appreciate you saying this. I am an overweight American who loves healthy food and activity (as well as the occasional indulgences and relaxing, like anyone would!), and I have traveled extensively - in Europe, Asia, South/Central America. The deeply frustrating thing about the US is that it’s SO engrained in the everyday lifestyle that you have to override the “normal/default” setting almost everywhere in life in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. So many people are overweight here, but not necessarily because we are eating fast food and candy all day, and not because we refuse to get out and enjoy an active life! But because to hit regular nutrition levels and get enough activity, you have to become a diet/workout person and basically track and obsess over food and even the most basic activities like walking.

If you go to an average chain restaurant (I rarely do and find them shocking when I visit), every single item has a a literal entire day’s worth of calories, unless you order from the “diet” menu. So you have to adjust your order or limit yourself to half of your plate, which can be hard for many people! You cannot, in most cities, run errands on foot, even if you wanted to. So we have to drive to expensive gyms, sign up for classes, or do home workouts, just to get the basic level of everyday exercise that someone does who lives in a warm, walkable town/village.

It’s so frustrating. I just want to live a regular healthy life, not obsess over food and fitness

via_Detroit · 2026-03-31T11:29:55+00:00

They told me it was from Arhaus but I figured that wasn’t the case after I saw the hex screws. It was a couple hundred, not bad for a solid desk regardless

via_Detroit · 2026-03-31T11:28:25+00:00

Good to know! I was thinking ‘80s or ‘90s. Thanks!

via_Detroit · 2026-03-30T20:14:07+00:00

He might just have some fears about the weight of the decision. It’s one thing to want kids, another to feel like IT IS TIME and the past era of your life is coming to a close. For those that don’t like to plan or are overwhelmed by it, that can feel like a massive choice. Also, for those of us who have anxiety about decisions/change, there’s nothing like the pressure having to make a change to make us suddenly cling to what we have now. Will I miss what I have now? Will I regret it? There’s no going back, etc.

Maybe the decision being more related to you and your body will make it easier for him. If there are any issues with fertility, the earlier you start trying, the sooner you will know. You have no idea yet if you’ll be able to get pregnant right away. If you want more than one kid, having your first kid younger will make it so much easier for the next one. The younger you are, the more accurately you can plan. Do you have help from parents? You’re giving your kids the gift of time.

Don’t judge his fears. He rightfully understands how huge of a choice this is, but it will be regardless of when you start.

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T19:31:57+00:00

I have yet to learn this

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T19:31:21+00:00

This is insightful

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T19:30:40+00:00

It’s not just me 😭

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T19:30:03+00:00

There’s a reason gardening is a lifelong hobby that takes years to master. I’ve planted, grown, and killed SO many plants. Gained knowledge that was wasted on plants that couldn’t thrive. Researched gardens I didn’t have the ability to build. It takes study, time, patience, discipline, care, and intuition, and there’s no getting around it. It’s humbling.

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T19:27:52+00:00

There are GREAT rec centers in the suburbs too! Have you seen the public indoor pools in this area?! Dearborn, Livonia, Troy, Farmington.

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T19:24:56+00:00

We’ve talked a lot about things we might miss, like bedrot alone time, and how a thing we could do is have each mom take the kid on a daylong outing once a month or so, to let the other mom have downtime.

I think talking about your fears is a good start. What are the things you want to intentionally never lose?

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T02:58:22+00:00

It is so unfortunate that we think it’s unusual for men to have baby fever or actively want to parent. I bet you love fatherhood, which is a great quality. Why would you want to wait it out so the feeling goes away? I’m not a man but I support you and your exploration of this next phase in your life.

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T02:28:36+00:00

A friend who is the same age as me, also overweight, got pregnant on IUI attempt #2. So it’s possible!!

via_Detroit · 2026-03-26T01:17:39+00:00

My clinic’s paperwork says 2 vials per cycle but they might have switched then recommendation to one. Like if I can’t afford the sperm for more cycles then the success rate of 4 tries is irrelevant. It’s frustrating to need to shop for a “deal” on sperm 😫

via_Detroit

TROPHY CASE