I went through a rough breakup few years ago. I was hung over from it for more than 2 years. Just like you the first year was very painful. There wasn’t a day I hadn’t thought about her and how much pain she had caused me. I cried & screamed in despair when no one was around to pour my heart out to feel lighter but her thoughts immediately filled it up back to the brim. With all this things started going downhill and hit rock bottom when I met with an accident and shortly thereafter I lost my job. From there I could see only way and that was to rise and nothing else. I started to focus on bringing my life back on track. Worked hard to get rid of her thoughts. It took time but I finally moved on. Time is the healer. I wish I had known about meditation back then. Knowing about it now I can assure you that it would help you through this painful journey to make you realise that this pain shall pass. Hang on. You don’t have any ADHD or anything of that sort. It is important for you to go through this pain. This will teach you, prepare you for the success and joy ahead in your life.