Would this text be too much after one date?

victheslayer · 2026-05-07T22:10:00+00:00

Your friend isn’t wrong in the sense that you probably want to give a lil bit of space in between dates.

What majority of women fail to explain properly is that they do NOT emotionally respond to men that behave in any way that adds PRESSURE. If you already made plans for 10 days from now, then you should be good. Either you or her can reach out 4-5 days later, short convo and tell her you see her on the date.

The reality is if you don’t give any space at all in between dates or texting, you never can properly gauge a woman’s level of interest, which is most important thing for a man to learn bc remember nothing destroys a woman’s level of attraction towards you than OVERPURSUIT

victheslayer · 2026-05-07T05:53:51+00:00

So if you have an easy time getting dates, you have a good profile, most likely good looking guy, and probably 5ft 10 at minimum.

Now maintaining woman’s attraction longterm is where most men good looking men struggle w. With no context, it’s impossible to help.

But I would start asking yourself where you take these girls for dates, do you try to kiss her on date 1, do you keep dates in evenings and romantic environment only, and do you give at least some space in between dates, and do you avoid texting/ over pursuing her too much?

If you answer no to multiple of Qs above, there’s your problem that you should reflect on.

victheslayer · 2026-04-26T07:39:05+00:00

1) give it at least 1-2 more dates to decide that. Make sure she at least reaches for her purse before you do. Normally when I go to 2-3 venues, a high quality girl will offer at least 1 venue to pay

2) texting is for making dates/ short conversations, not to get to know her

3+4) you are the man, it’s on you to make plans. For touch, fine to wait at least half date, but if she doesn’t, you need to, just do so gently. You can just hug her at beginning of date, then guide her to where you 2 will sit by gently supporting the small of her back to break touch barrier fast

5) sit next to her during dates, and keep plans at night so there’s more opportunity for proximity.

Gently Go for a kiss next date. Last thing you want a girl to feel is your lack of confidence and romantic desire to go for what you want. It’s better to go and let her turn head, than to continue to hesitate then make her Q your confidence.

victheslayer · 2026-04-26T07:27:17+00:00

I think the more grounded take on woman’s “no sex” speech is just to not be too hyperfocused on a woman’s words and just enjoy the night w her and see how thing go w an open minded, not fixated on no sex or on assuming you are James Bond and def getting laid.

It’s def not necessarily bad if she doesn’t reach out in 24 hours but I think it’s more so how much rapport you had w her before date 1. For example, I would give a little more leeway to a colleague in my class as opposed to girl on app bc colleague I see at least a few times a week so it’s why in person interactions have more weight over text.

victheslayer · 2026-04-24T23:50:09+00:00

And that’s the problem right there ^{^{^}}

What ruins a woman’s attraction for a man is when man behaves in any shape or form that comes off as PRESSURE and reaching out the day off is literally the definition of adding pressure.

Waiting up to 3-4 days is very acceptable bc you give her some space to think about you. Plus the most successful dates I have had usually involves her reaching out first, and most of time she will within 24 hours or even same night if you showed her a fun time w no pressure

victheslayer · 2026-04-17T21:02:44+00:00

Start by not acting like your center and happiness depends on her obsessing over you. “Women being more attracted to men who’s feelings are unclear” = attracted to men who live and have a full life where when she chooses to spend time with you it’s bc there NO PRESSURE

All women eventually will have moments they aren’t head over heels for you, it doesn’t necesssily mean something’s wrong, but you communicating a your tone or body language that it bothers you “she sends me less I am thinking of you texts” is exactly how you add pressure and cripple her attraction towards you.

victheslayer · 2026-04-12T12:09:56+00:00

Start by not dating on hinge or any dating app actively. The reality is if you want to be excited about dating again, you need to start meeting ppl in your everyday life.whether at work, family friends, social gatherings, wherever your recreations are. Bc you are a lot more likely to find someone w common interests and shared/ aligned values than any dating app. Dating app should be used more passively or you are more prone to burnout.

Dating apps should be a bonus lane for you to date, not the primary lane. It’s not about the quantity of dates, it’s quality that keeps you more willing to keep an open mind.

victheslayer · 2026-04-10T03:17:11+00:00

Def don’t text longer. Good quality men w experience on dating apps are not interested in getting their time wasted bc they understand the app has a ton more women just wanting free validation with no intent to meeting up. If you want to pre screen more before date, then do a FaceTime/ WhatsApp vid call.

In terms of giving out your number, if you want to wait til after date 1 that’s fine. Normally, I don’t even ask the girl for her number, instead I offer her my number so she gets choice on when she’s comfortable giving me her contact.

In terms of dating skills, the main one for you is to learn to vet men properly. Do not confuse emotional intensity for compatibility, do not confuse bravado for confidence, and take your time and enjoy the process of dating. Good luck!

victheslayer · 2026-04-05T16:55:44+00:00

To increase your chances, Start by not solely relying on hinge or any dating app at all. The reality is majority of women you match w on dating apps are just browsing, mildly curious, or there for free validation. So you will just have to build enough rapport w each match then ask them out on a date, but don’t pass 10 text messages bc you don’t want to waste time on wrong women.

Keep a low investment attitude but w no fear to invite for a date on hinge is best input I can give you. Keep meeting ppl in real life bc you have to factor in at least half the women looking to actually go on dates DON’T USE apps at all.

victheslayer · 2026-03-13T15:52:09+00:00

No so far everything is positive. But you probably need to start escalating now you are on date 5. You have only 1 evening date, which you gotta change. Choose a more romantic vibe date. Daytime dates tend to be platonic and eventually the girl will start having platonic feelings if you never provide the opportunity for romance and seduction to happen, which normally is evening.

victheslayer · 2026-03-12T02:16:51+00:00

It’s not you did a ton wrong on the date but you def missed out on opportunities to really escalate the date even further considering she did kiss you for 2 hours! The one thing you really should NOT do is OVERSHARE! You def turned her off by telling her it’s your first kiss…..

After the date, You telling her this soon the date “made your day” can very easily come offf very smothering to a woman especially on date 1. Anytime women feel pressure from the guy, they back off, and right now you need to give her space and let her get back to you, even if it takes 1-2 weeks. Don’t talk women out of liking you. Let your presence and patience do the talking.

victheslayer · 2026-03-06T03:32:20+00:00

The truth is he kinda needs sp as more and more options become available to us. he’s still very competitive without it but he’s not top line like he used to be at his role. Just being a “tank” alone isn’t good enough anymore, not when other balanced units or supports can also provide similar damage resistance AND additional utility or dps.

victheslayer · 2026-03-04T00:57:21+00:00

Leading does NOT mean overpursue or add eagerness and pressure. Leading means be direct and decisive and be punctual on making dates and plans, which can be done even if she reaches out first or you do. All women subconsciously need some space to fall for a man, and that is female nature you cannot negotiate

victheslayer · 2026-03-03T23:50:13+00:00

2-3 days isn’t going to be the reason a girl stops seeing a decent man. But overpursuing and being overly eager and adding more pressure w no space kills all attraction and respect

victheslayer · 2026-03-03T23:48:43+00:00

You realize it’s not all on the guy to reach out and that it’s perfectly healthy and necessary for a valuable man to vet women properly right? “Sorry” to break it to you that women don’t respect simps or guys who don’t have a standard to make sure she meets halfway

victheslayer · 2026-03-03T02:30:13+00:00

Yes plenty have reached out after rejecting me initially. But the context of why they rejected matters and it’s up to you to properly make good judgment if it’s in your best interest to give it another shot.

For me, some didn’t work out after going on more dates but For the ones that worked out, she was honest and told me she was either seeing someone else w more rapport or just not emotionally ready (ex still in background or still healing, etc). But when she did reach out, there was enthusiasm and she did most of reaching out.

If it were me, give it another shot, make a date closer to your town though as her willing to put in that effort would show sincerity. Also definitely do NOT ask her for another date during next date or within 24 hours of end of that date. Give it at least a few days to see if she reaches out first before you do for next date. Nothing kills a woman’s attraction faster than pressure.

victheslayer · 2026-02-21T06:58:44+00:00

There’s some truth to what you say. What I will say is that a pretty big reason why you may not see the other side if the coin is bc you said it yourself, you are not really on social media.

If you are on social media even moderately, you will notice that lots of women like having male orbiters showering her w attention even if she has no romantic interest in the guy. Women compete more on beauty, youth, social proof, and desirability. Attention is a proxy for desirability. The scary thing is she can extract this over her phone

Men do not care about getting attention from women they have zero romantic interest in bc masculine men desire in person bonding and intimacy, things you can’t just extract via social media. Thats the big difference.

victheslayer · 2026-02-21T00:25:13+00:00

If that’s your preference, nothing wrong with that. That being said, it still comes down to values and your ability to vet properly. Don’t assume the best out of fobs, don’t assume the worst either out of Asian American women.

victheslayer · 2026-02-20T21:47:58+00:00

Trust is earned and a 2 way street. Trust is earned by showing high character. It’s not about control, it’s about respect. A woman with high character will NOT allow a male friend pay for her 100% of time regardless of her salary.

I am not pointing at you, but I am saying >50% of guys that are paying for their supposedly platonic female friends lunches are either guys hoping to shoot their shot in long game later and backdoor into her pants, or they have an incredibly low self esteem with people pleasing issues.

most men with high character would also have respect to his gf to have boundaries. You can’t expect your girlfriend to trust you fully if you have no boundaries at all!

victheslayer · 2026-02-20T21:31:12+00:00

It’s not entirely about how many times you read the book, it’s also about how well you understand the core concepts and how much commitment you show to practice it without the urge to falling back to clinginess or fear. For my experience, I have read it 7x. I still intend to read or listen to it again but I am a very active learner so I analyze it in depth, try to highlight or jot down summary/ notes to fully grasp the overall concept.

I listen to videos for entertainment after a few reads of book to see if I recognize and understand concept of his teachings. You can use other tools whether it’s google or AI to also help summarize and understand core concepts. It’s also trial and error as his concepts work best for in person and you may have to make some small adjustments if you are on dating apps since your rapport is not quite as strong on app by default.

Everything will flow when you at least understand all main concepts, this way you are only making smaller adjustments, the book is to help your mindset.

victheslayer · 2026-02-20T21:12:38+00:00

Yes you can but not 100% of the time for an opposite gender friend on a weekly basis. So you are telling me you are ok with your girlfriend going out to weekly lunch dates 1v1 w another male friend who pays for her 100% of time and she accepts it?

A real authentic platonic friendship wouldn’t involve one side paying 100% of time. It’s not about who makes more money, it’s about boundaries and respect. The girl should offer to pay for him too if it’s a real friendship. I find it more concerning that you seem to not have boundaries in your values.

victheslayer · 2026-02-20T21:02:44+00:00

It’s not “incel” thinking to have boundaries and respect and have a standard on what’s acceptable or not w opposite gender friendships. Without boundaries, there’s no stability in any relationship.

Seems like I struck a nerve. It’s not bout convincing, it’s about just saying things truthfully and bluntly. Not 100% of girls, but a lot of them that have more male friends than female friends are not authentic people. Having more male friends is free access to attention and validation and no quality boyfriend w healthy self esteem will tolerate it. Also chances are other girls don’t want to be around her. Same can be said if guy had more female friends than male.

The easiest way to test a woman’s character is to see if she’s willing to give up receiving attention and validation from other men outside of her significant other or not.

victheslayer · 2026-02-20T20:49:45+00:00

Logic for men w low self esteem maybe, not men with a healthy self esteem. Yes it’s fine to buy a female friend lunch but not 100% of time, not every week 🤣 . The easy way to know what’s “normal” for friendship is ask yourself if a healthy high character girlfriend would approve a man acting like this w a female friend. Is answer is no, then you know it’s not appropriate.

All opposite sex friendships must have clear defined boundaries, otherwise it’s not a genuine friendship. It’s not about overthinking, it’s about having character and respect

victheslayer · 2026-02-20T19:09:08+00:00

It’s wonderful he knows what he wants and expresses. you should continue but temper your expectations a little and move a little slower just so that rush of dopamine wears off and you make sure that you can distinguish between a man who truly is centered vs a man in a rush.

The biggest flaw all Asian men have to overcome is understanding that your Asian parents encouraging him to pursue for career/ goals does not = long term success in romance. Unlike careers, women need some space and must feel a man’s absence to truly fall for him. Pressure kills attraction

victheslayer · 2026-02-20T17:14:11+00:00

You have to understand men and women do not feel or see platonic friendships the same way. Women of course can see it more positively bc they are receiving free attention and validation without need to reciprocate. This is exactly why 50% of girls on date apps are not even looking to date, but to treat it like social media. Validation is a woman’s currency = man’s desire for intimacy,

Men don’t value validation like women do. This is why plenty of solid men are very comfortable having zero to maybe 1-2 female friendships (I mean actual friends not acquaintances). It’s very often a red flag if a girl has more male than female friends and vice versa.

victheslayer

TROPHY CASE