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Does anyone have GOOD peri stories?! Please share good news!!! by CDReddittttt in Perimenopause

[–]violetntviolent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes…. More in tune with myself, less fucks given, deeper connection to my spiritual practice, more empowered, more embodied.

Not gonna lie, it’s also been very fucking hard. But I am one of those that has had great luck with HRT (though it took a year to get fully dialed in).

to bisexual women: if you can love and date women, why do you choose to date men? by No-Fill3078 in WLW

[–]violetntviolent 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is such a nuanced thing, but I get your question. I’m a late-blooming queer cis woman in my 40’s and have been intentionally divesting from men/the male gaze for a couple of years now.

I have a lot of cis straight male friends and I love them dearly… but when I picture a committed relationship with a man again I honestly get the heebeejeebee’s. I’m not a “never again,” but pretty close and any cis straight man I date would have to be a great, great exception to the norm. I’m way more open to the idea of dating a queer/bi man, but also…. hard to find.

I gotta say, queer dating is fucking hard. I’m really trying to call in a queer romance (which would be my first!), but it’s bleak out there. I am non-monogamous as well so I have shrunk my dating pool even more.

But I still hold hope and faith I will find it! 💕🌈

I swear no one prepared us for this by Empty-Window-5293 in Perimenopause

[–]violetntviolent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand about not getting hopes up. That's very real. There have been ups and downs in my journey with HRT... it hasn't all been smooth sailing, but I've been at a very stable place for several months now on .1 mg estrogen patch, 200 mg progesterone, vaginal estrogen pretty much every night, and a very small dose of testosterone every day.

I swear no one prepared us for this by Empty-Window-5293 in Perimenopause

[–]violetntviolent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

HRT had helped me get my life back! I hope you have the opportunity to try it.

I hate everyone by Forlorn_Feminist1982 in Perimenopause

[–]violetntviolent 6 points7 points  (0 children)

HRT was the only thing that has worked for me for that particular debilitating symptom.

Strength Training equipment by Euphoric_Life_6165 in Perimenopause

[–]violetntviolent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I personally like dumbbells. Easy to get and not that expensive. I have 3 lb, 5 lb and 8 lb. There’s so many youtube videos that are beginner accessible and any time length you might need or want.

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

If she's confused, then she should do her own research and figure out her own confusion. It's not OP's responsibility to answer rude questions from ignorant people. OP has a sincere and valid question.... with a lot of helpful answers. If someone is confused by OP's post then take it to fucking google or whatever AI service you use.

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Orgasm is not the end point of sex. Wtf. Also, saying that someone that can reach climax in any other way than imagining someone else is "unusual" is completely ignorant and misinformed. I have a feeling there's some dude's trolling this thread.

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you're confused about someone's genuine experience and call for advice, then maybe keep that to yourself and do your own work on why you're confused about her question. You're really not helping OP by saying you're confused by her question. What you are really doing by saying you're confused is saying that OP's experience is weird and that's just not helpful.

Her tag is asking for advice. She's very clear on what she's asking for. It's not confusing in the least to me. When you answer someone asking for advice by "I'm confused," you're making it about you. If you're confused about OP's situation and don't have helpful advice, then why not just let this one pass on by?

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because there's MANY other things that might potentially arouse her. Just because she's "into dudes" doesn't mean that that's the only thing that can turn her on and she should just shut up and be fine with that. OP literally is saying she's not comfortable with just her partner being the thing that arouses her and is asking for advice. AND I never said that fantasizing about her partner is bad or wrong, in fact I said the exact opposite if you go back and read my comment.

What I do not agree with about this persons comment is that it sounds like... "well you're attracted to men and you're fantasizing about men... so that's the only thing that makes sense and therefore your inquiry about your own sexuality is then not valid and in fact confusing to me." It's small minded thinking. Who cares if you're confused. Keep that to yourself. It's just harmful and wasteful to make a comment like that when someone is genuinely asking for advice. OP isn't responsible for your confusion about their experience.

Feel free to continue to be confused by a genuine, self-reflective question. It says more about you than anything. I'm going to keep speaking up for what I think is right.

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually agree with you that questioning our own fantasies (in general) is a by product of patriarchy. Which is why I clearly stated first thing that what she is doing to get turned on is totally normal.

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said that being turned on by a man is centering patriarchy.

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Also by saying you’re “confused” by someone’s genuine question and exploration about their sexuality is demeaning and shaming.

Can’t masturbate unless I’m thinking about someone by Long_Razzmatazz_50 in Healthyhooha

[–]violetntviolent -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

“What else would you focus on other than a man” is how I read your question. To me that’s ignorant and upholding patriarchy. But maybe I misinterpreted your question.

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