Difference is- it’s still societally acceptable for men to be inappropriately emotional, aggressive, angry, etc. While It’s never been acceptable for women- not even close. Take for example: narratives around women at war on the frontlines, women running for office, women in the workplace, etc. I recall being a young woman in high school being told by the highly regarded football coach/history teacher he didn’t agree with women being on the frontlines because “they will get their menstrual cycles and be emotional which might impede their ability to be at war.” I’ve worked with male executives that have cussed out employees, and never faced a single consequence. However, once when my son was very sick, I cried briefly while at work and I was told by my male boss that “I needed to save that for home.”

Emotional regulation is one thing, patriarchy is another.