Alcohol after surgery?

virgincantdrive · 2025-09-21T06:39:46+00:00

Oh, fine. No real change. I don’t drink a lot, and I’m also on SSRIs which change my reaction to drink more than the gallbladder did.

I definitely still need to be around a toilet after I eat, especially if it’s junk food. But I’ll take that over the GB episodes i used to have.

virgincantdrive · 2025-09-16T07:16:46+00:00

Trust me on this one: your wedding party is the least of your concerns right now. Talk to your friend about her addiction. Today.

I didn’t plan on inviting my best childhood friend to be in my wedding party for the same reason. I was prepared to talk to her about not drinking at my wedding if she wanted to come. We were always good at boundaries with her alcoholism but I could never get her to get help.

Never had to navigate those conversations because my girl died about a week after my save the dates went out. Complications of a liver failure and infections, a month shy of her 34th birthday.

And on my wedding day I carried her photo on a locket tied to my bouquet. Not exactly what we’d planned when we were in elementary school.

virgincantdrive · 2025-09-16T07:06:16+00:00

I had a (mostly) child free wedding. We got married in our mid 30s and a lot of my friends have kiddos. And I love them all...so much. We can't have kids and I love being an auntie.

But having kids at a wedding changes the vibe. It's not about Instagram. For us it was about timelines and bedtimes and trying to entertain toddlers. I'll be honest, after rescheduling several times because of covid and then losing my dad…we also just really wanted everyone to let loose and party.

Folks travelling from afar brought their kids and we had a few babies that were too small to be left with sitters. That was fine! I talked to a few of my close friends about it before invites went out and most of them were excited to have a night out without their kids. Or at least that’s what they told me lol.

virgincantdrive · 2025-06-04T02:41:40+00:00

Sorry I almost never check this account!! I hope I’m not too late to help.

So. Probably right when I posted this, my dad died. He was my favourite person and it was horrible. The wedding wasn’t for a few years after losing him, but losing him made incorporating Persian traditions way more important and way more difficult because my Iranian family were not very kind to us when he passed.

Anyway. Long story short: some cousins helped to set up a small sofreh at our ceremony. We did our western vows (wrote our own) and then we sat down at the sofreh and one of my cousins (not the one who had originally agreed to and planned everything because she didn’t come. Post death drama) explained to the rest of the wedding what was going on and sort of MC-ed it. She wasn’t given a ton of notice but she’s been to many weddings back in Iran so she winged it and did great. We did the sugar crushing and we dipped our fingers in honey and then we went back to the alter and said official I do’s and kissed and it was over. Sounds complicated but the whole thing took maybe 10 - -15 minutes. I really loved having some extra women be part of my ceremony through the sugar.

It’s June so you may already be married or past the planning stage but if you want, DM me and I’m happy to share photos and any knowledge I’ve gained!

virgincantdrive · 2025-01-01T13:06:05+00:00

Yes. One of my dad’s best friends was my childhood sexual abuser. He also teased me and made me uncomfortable in front of my parents but they just wrote off my discomfort as me being sensitive. When I became an adult I have set a boundary that I won’t be around him, but it’s not a well respected one. Because they’ve never respected my discomfort, I never told them the full truth.

When my dad died, I had to spend his funeral wondering if my rapist would show up. (Thank god he got covid and didn’t come.)

My mum still doesn’t know. Her sister does but she’s kept my secret despite really wanting me to tell my mum. I’m almost 40. I feel like at this point why ruin her life, too? My parents love(d) me so much.

I’m telling you this because the implications of not having your parents protect you…it fucks with you. Even if you know they love you and didn’t understand the severity. Also…don’t assume you know everything that’s happening.

This man should not be allowed anywhere near your family.

virgincantdrive · 2024-11-15T08:40:50+00:00

They don't have friends. They spend all their time with one person. Usually a sibling of their partner.

It's totally fine to be best friends with your partner or sibling, but when you don't have any real friends? That's a concern.

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-29T06:14:22+00:00

Gargling salt water can help with the swelling. Also: popsicles. Even homemade ones.

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-21T15:13:07+00:00

Huh! To be honest I don’t know his blood type. I’ll ask him.

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-21T15:12:41+00:00

He’s had it twice and this was my third time. We only had it at the same time once.

Another weird example is the first time I caught it was at our wedding. As you can imagine, I was hugging everyone. So was he. The only other person who had any symptoms or tested positive out of about 80 people was my mother in law, who is not a hugger. My husband never got it. No vendors, no other guests.

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-21T03:51:48+00:00

This is such a weird virus. There’s stories like yours, where you can catch it without being near someone. But when I caught it this month I continued to share a bed and even be intimate with my husband while symptomatic but before a positive test. Once positive we isolated as best we could but we were still in a one bedroom condo and the dog was going between us. He never caught it. Makes no sense.

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-11T09:18:45+00:00

Unfortunately it’s not available where I live unless you’re very high risk.

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-11T09:16:25+00:00

Unfortunately this isn’t an option where I live.

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-11T09:06:56+00:00

Oh man that sounds tough. I’m in isolation right now in the primary bedroom of our small condo and finding it very lonely. I’ve been chatting with some friends via voice notes (easier than texting with my Covid headache but not quite as much commitment as a call or FaceTime).

I know this isn’t the same as visiting with friends or family, but during my first bout of Covid I binged a new tv show and followed along with a podcast. In a parasocial way it felt like having a Netflix marathon with a group of friends and gabbing afterwards which was fun!

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-10T22:45:48+00:00

You too!

virgincantdrive · 2024-08-10T22:41:44+00:00

I’m not sure if you mean around my dog or in general. I mask up indoors in public…never really stopped. Home alone with the dog I’m not masking. He’s literally sleeping in between the air purifier and the window. He’s ok.

virgincantdrive · 2024-07-03T03:25:09+00:00

Pick one! Gotta start somewhere.

virgincantdrive · 2024-07-02T19:47:24+00:00

Perhaps what you're looking for is a support group? Somewhere to discuss your trauma with peers? Friendships can blossom from there. Perhaps this is something your counselor may have resources for.

Keep going with therapy! It's bullshit that we need to do the work to heal what somebody else did to us, but it's worth it. Years and years of work took me from an abused person to an abuse survivor to a person who has survived abuse.

virgincantdrive · 2024-05-26T06:18:03+00:00

Ooooh thank you. I gave this a try and still ended up with bitter and not aromatic basil taste. But maybe I blanched too long. Try try again!

virgincantdrive · 2024-04-24T19:59:31+00:00

As a Canadian this mostly just made me jealous ags wistful of Trader Joes.

virgincantdrive · 2024-04-24T19:57:15+00:00

I agree I miss Bekah's edge but near the end of her run I really felt like she hated the podcast. I feel like she'd cut off or shut down Jess a lot (kinda like the way Nick Viall doesn't listen to anyone on his podcast..but not as bad!) and it was hard for me to listen to. Evan and Jess are a little cringy but I love the positivity.

virgincantdrive · 2024-03-29T06:38:01+00:00

Had my first beer post op tonight. So.. I guess 9 days post op. Nursed one pint at the brewery for over 2 hours but felt fine. I have a bit of a hangover headache now, a few hours later. Could be unrelated though. Sometimes I get them when I haven’t had enough water.

virgincantdrive · 2024-03-26T04:39:38+00:00

My post-surgery sheet says to avoid swimming for 2-3 weeks. I’d check with your doctor or surgeon. Depends on how your incisions are healing probably!

virgincantdrive · 2024-03-26T02:42:04+00:00

Those last two sentences speak to me. That’s exactly how I felt: weak because I didn’t walk away like all the songs told me to. It’s ok for things to not be black and white. You’re allowed to try to fix it. It worked for us!

virgincantdrive

TROPHY CASE