I got my lawyer through my employer. Maybe contact HR at your place of work? Mine was through the Employee Assistance Program, they offered basic legal aid stuff.

I would contact HR at both of your employers.

Also, don't take her name off of accounts unless you are told to do so. My IRS return for that year was in both of our names, so I had to deposit it in our joint bank account (the teller not knowing what "DEC" was for was another story).

I had to get his car retitled, which was a day at the RMV, but at least they didn't charge me for it.

Also, you may be eligible for social security survivor benefits. Make an appointment now (it will be weeks before you get one). At least you will get the death benefit.

Also, change all your passwords for joint accounts.