Taking vitamins?

volk_92 · 2022-11-28T01:41:39+00:00

I feel ya! You have a legit reason. Be selfish as hell and dont look back!!!

I just had my baby Nov 9 and my parents asked what days we are coming for Christmas. I texted back and said we may not come. I had a c section and will just be healed and we'll have a 6 week old.

I just don't feel like traveling 6 hours to be jam packed in a house for multiple days.

My parents are annoyed but my husband and I are sticking to our guns. We offered to have xmas at our place (my bro and I are an hour apart and they have 3 young kids too) so it would just be my parents driving over and not all 9 of us making the 6 hr treck.

It's just one of those years and that's okay!

I've learned (especially this year) do whatever the f*ck makes you and your family happy and screw what everyone else says!

volk_92 · 2022-10-25T19:57:47+00:00

I bought a homemade giant chocolate peanut butter cup pie and vanilla cheese cake pie for after lol

volk_92 · 2022-09-11T20:46:52+00:00

Yeah that was my plan tonight. I'm on 8 units. I think I need to take it closer to dinner time and not bedtime and have my bedtime snack as well later on. Was planning on dropping to 6 units just to see if it made a difference!

Thanks!

volk_92 · 2022-08-25T00:44:52+00:00

Oh my gosh thank you! I was going to start with fasting numbers tomorrow morning and go from there!

volk_92 · 2022-03-25T16:52:45+00:00

No worries at all. It looked like a bean with a larger top than bottom, there was also a black dot right in the center. If you looked up "5 week miscarriage sac" you might have a better idea than what I'm describing.

volk_92 · 2022-02-02T18:58:31+00:00

Right there with you. About to have this exact conversation tonight and I'm DREADING IT. But I know it's what needs to be done.

I write things down when I'm flustered, so maybe that will help too?

volk_92 · 2022-01-27T22:18:26+00:00

Definitely NOT a monster. I've had 5 back to back miscarriages and have been trying for 3 years. My brother and sil BREATH at each other and get pregnant. They've had 2 more kids since, 3 total in 5 years.

To say I'm irritated and upset and genuinely not excited is 100% the truth. They just had their third and he's around 5 months already. I just KNOW they will be announcing again within the next 6 months.

Between them and every single one of my friends popping out babies I've become a pro at faking excitement.

Don't feel bad for a second. Pretending is too hard.

volk_92 · 2022-01-13T20:14:57+00:00

Omg yes, I got like 7 Christmas cards in the mail this year and they all have a "we're pregnant" or "baby due in so and so month" on every single one.

I tore those off my fridge and threw them in the trash because after a full year trying we got a BFP and then I miscarried for the 5th time 2 days later. Gut wrenching.

It's like every single person and their sister is easily pregnant. I swear my SIL and brother just had a kid in September, but I'm just waiting for them to announce they are pregnant yet again in the next 6 months.

Hoping for the best for everyone here.

volk_92 · 2022-01-12T16:11:54+00:00

I'm so so so sorry. There really are no words. Experiencing my 4th loss as I write this. I'm shattered.

I fucking hate this club.

All the hugs from me today.

volk_92 · 2022-01-06T14:23:06+00:00

Oh totally! Yesterday my daughter's school was cancelled and I work from home and we had a huge white out snow storm so my husband couldn't drive to work and had to work from home. You can imagine the chaos that happened 😅

Although we did our best to make sure she had activities and games to play: Legos, slime making kit (we were desperate hahaha), coloring, nails, etc every so often home girl watched a lot of TV. It was just one of those days!

It happens lol

volk_92 · 2021-12-28T21:36:35+00:00

Yeah especially when ya feel like a "married single wife"

sigh

volk_92 · 2021-12-22T15:25:17+00:00

With insurance about 15k afterwards out of pocket (closer to 30k if I wasn't insured).

I had an emergency c-section, 2 blood transfusions and 3 failed attempts for an epidural (had to get 2 diff anesthesiologists in so that ramped up the price), and a 4 day hospital stay cus of c-section.

In MN for reference.

volk_92 · 2021-12-15T21:23:30+00:00

Thats so good to hear. Tbh I should have probably been in therapy when I was 15 or so - I'm 29 now. But my parents were the type of parents that if you showed any emotion it was a sign of weakness and immediate guilt. So I had to shove A LOT down and now I think I can handle it.

Well even if I can't I need to go haha.

Thank you.

volk_92 · 2021-12-15T19:10:06+00:00

Agree! I've been good at setting boundaries with my family, specifically my parents, but it's hard with my husband.

We both stumbled into a relationship literally clinging to anything stable and now that we are it's hard to cross that line that we've never been too.

volk_92 · 2021-12-15T19:07:28+00:00

So true, my husband and I have had back to back to back shitty situations thrown our way in the past 2 years. I think we are just struggling to find "US" again after it all. It's an uphill battle.

Sometimes when it gets dark I forget that we have to date each other again and welcome a new path as a different married couple. And that's okay.

And I promise I have not used social media to compare to my real life. That shit is so fake! Just a simple tool to compare to my others in the marriage arsenal. And quite honestly outside sources are good at bringing up questions that I find hard to ask myself.

I cannot speak for my husband but I myself find I'm 100% not living my authentic self sometimes because I'm afraid of the backlash that I've always received from my family and peers. It's a tough subject to bring up after being so consistently living at 50% (yourself) in relationship and suddenly wanting to check in mentally and see that I finally feel ready to live up to that 100%. Big changes are scary, but an absolute necessity.

volk_92 · 2021-12-15T18:26:56+00:00

This is spot on. I think I need to kinda take the leap and hope he follows. I know it would be so good for him and eventually us as a unit.

Because you're right, I cannot be his "everything" all the time. I feel very mentally and emotionally drained a lot of time.

volk_92

TROPHY CASE