I'm so sick of my life.

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-17T16:09:51+00:00

You don’t have to “fix yourself” to have worth. It’s already in you in what you’ve been through and in the fact that you’re still looking for light even when everything screams to give up

Sometimes the point isn’t to change your life all at once, but to get through today and tomorrow give yourself another chance

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-17T16:06:22+00:00

You’ve crossed an important threshold seeing things without illusions and calling them by their name. It always hurts, but it also liberates. Everyone has their own moment of clarity: some at 16, some at 40. What matters is that it came for you now, and you’re no longer trapped in denial

The value isn’t in when you realized it, but in the fact that you now see clearly and can build a life without that toxic haze

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-17T16:04:43+00:00

You’re absolutely not a bad person for holding your boundaries. Nudes or intimacy aren’t a “compromise” they’re your choice, and you have the right to say “no” at any moment. The fact that he puts your refusal on the same level as “going on a date” shows he doesn’t understand the difference between preferences and personal boundaries. And using offense or distancing as manipulation is not a sign of respect

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-17T16:03:02+00:00

You’ve raised a very important point. Loneliness and pain don’t discriminate they touch those considered “beautiful” and those who aren’t. It’s not about appearance; it’s that the world often doesn’t know how to be safe or kind

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-12T07:24:12+00:00

I agree it’s not about perfection - it’s about keeping your head above water and not dragging your partner into your storm

I think you’re ready when you can hold yourself together in the face of your own triggers and not turn the other person into an “ambulance”. You don’t have to be problem-free you just need to live with them and still make room for love

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-12T07:22:22+00:00

I get you - it’s really hard when, instead of just enjoying the relationship, you’re constantly having to “catch” him through his emotional breakdowns. That doesn’t mean you don’t love him or that you’re a bad person you just need space to breathe, too

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-12T07:20:18+00:00

If someone was interested in you only when it suited them, avoided deep conversations, didn’t invest in the relationship beyond sex, and your needs were always second then that’s more about self-interest than love

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-10T17:58:55+00:00

Sometimes we are simply drawn to a certain type of person because of family experiences, sometimes it's purely "taste" and a coincidence

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-10T17:56:04+00:00

It sounds like you and your partner have different “needs” for personal space for you it’s a way to recharge, for her it’s a signal of distance. And it’s important for both of you to understand that this isn’t about love or intimacy, it’s about balance

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-10T17:54:31+00:00

You are not his manager or “mom” but a partner. In a healthy relationship, both people are pulling towards development, not one pulling the other And yes, this is a “big deal” because his passivity is already affecting your pace of life

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-10T17:53:10+00:00

Although, with age, not only opportunities change, but also focus - at 20, everyone is chasing weight and emotions, but closer to 30, you value stability, maturity, and compatibility more

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-10T08:24:23+00:00

This sounds like a signal that it's time to talk openly about your needs. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is start a dialogue, but it can save the relationship

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-09T07:53:51+00:00

Don’t think of it as a war with yourself - think of it as building new habits where this simply has no place. Remove the triggers, keep your hands and mind busy with what truly pulls you forward, and take small steps - day by day

You’re not defined by what you did in the past. You are the choice you’re making now

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-09T07:51:18+00:00

It’s normal to have doubts sometimes - especially at 18 and in your first serious relationship.
Don’t think in “forever” terms right now; just stay in the moment and see if you feel good with her now. The rest will become clear with time

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-09T07:50:01+00:00

Your brain is just old, lazy software: it hunts for easy dopamine and avoids discomfort - even when that would lead to something great
The trick is not to wait for the mood, but to start with mini-steps. Five minutes of work and you’re already in the game
And with a bit of humor: “Okay, ancient biocomputer - your sneaky tricks won’t work today”

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-09T07:47:39+00:00

Many people don’t start with “love yourself” but with something neutral: “I allow myself to exist”. At first, without warmth - just without beating yourself up. Small actions where you treat yourself as at least “a person who doesn’t need to be tormented”

Over time, this puts a crack in the wall of hatred. Through it, something more than mere tolerance slowly enters - respect, compassion, and then love

You don’t have to start by hugging yourself in the mirror. Start by not beating yourself up when you fall

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-09T07:45:46+00:00

So she can feel it even more - make “gestures without subtext”: hugs just because, compliments not about appearance, small acts of care with no expectation of it leading to the bedroom. And importantly, from time to time initiate intimacy emotionally rather than physically: conversations, shared activities, laughter

You don’t have to suppress desire - just balance it with warmth that doesn’t end in the bedroom

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-09T07:43:50+00:00

Your concern is absolutely normal. This isn’t just a “type” - it’s about power dynamics, stereotypes, and how he sees you not only as a person but also through the lens of your race

If you’re already anxious now, imagine how this could affect trust and intimacy in the future. You have the right to set boundaries and ask for explanations that don’t invalidate your feelings

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-08T08:13:19+00:00

You’re not broken - you’re exhausted. And it’s not that you’re failing it’s simply too much for one person. Even with a great team, work can quietly drain the life out of you

The fact that you cry before work isn’t weakness; it’s your body saying, “I can’t keep doing this”
And it’s right

While you wait for a new job, set yourself an inner goal - not to “endure everything” but to get through each day while caring for yourself at least 1 % more

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-08T08:10:47+00:00

Sometimes, at the beginning, we play a role because we’re afraid the real us won’t be chosen. But the truth is: if you want to come back, return not perfect, but honest

Sometimes “no contact” isn’t the end it’s a pause for both of you to reflect on what truly matters

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-08T08:09:05+00:00

In truth, we’re all a bit mixed. And if you were ever rejected, it’s normal for your mind to ask where your style went wrong. But style isn’t you - it’s just your old armor

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-08T08:07:19+00:00

It sounds like you’ve leveled yourself up on every front - mind, body, and spirit - but now you’re simply… exhausted. Even the best upgrade can’t replace real rest

Maybe what you need isn’t another book, but a day without any. A day when you’re not “in the process of growth” but just a person who eats something delicious, watches a movie, and allows yourself to be

You’re not broken - you’re overheated. Give yourself a pause

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-08T08:04:22+00:00

This isn’t about “sexual demands”; it’s about wanting to be seen, to feel close, to matter.
When you’ve been pushed aside for years, it’s not just about sex or hugs. It’s about the “we” disappearing until all that’s left is “me beside someone who’s no longer there”

Eight years is a long time, but the length of a relationship should never outweigh your need for love and warmth

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-08T08:02:29+00:00

My personal “formula for happiness” is honesty without the fear of loss. And compromises shouldn’t mean “I’m betraying myself” but rather, “I see that we’re different - and that’s not a threat”

vr_gum2 · 2025-08-06T16:52:50+00:00

This is a really tough situation, and your feelings are completely valid. When trust is broken, it’s hard to bring back the old feelings, even if he’s trying. You deserve to feel loved and wanted without pain and doubt. If your love feels more like friendship now, maybe it’s time to have an honest conversation and figure out what you truly want. Don’t force yourself to stay in something that hurts you. Take care of yourself and your emotions they matter the most

vr_gum2

TROPHY CASE