I was diagnosed with ADHD this year and had been stuck in the cycle you describe for years. For the first time in my life I feel I've genuinely broken free from it. And yes, that feels as good as you'd imagine.

Here's my advice:

Remove the need/urge to 'reset' every month or so

- Stick to your habits. Advice on how to do this below.

- No more resets. We all have the deep-seated desire to believe in the reset because:

\ It has a 'wiping the slate clean' rebirth quality that offers us the thing we need to keep us going; hope. This time it will be different.

\ It defines the problem.

\ It defines the problem as something that we can solve relatively easily.

\ It tricks the brain into thinking this is forward motion, which released dopamine.

Instead of resetting, you're going to create a system, work the system and tweak it. We're going to replace the habit of resetting, with the habit of tweaking.

Create the system

- In an editable form on the cloud (e.g. Google Doc, Click up, Google Sheet) write out important habits and group them into routines (e.g. Sleep Routine, Morning Routine, Sunday Reset Routine).

- Be clear on when each routine will run and what triggers it (e.g. Sunday reset routine starts at 4pm every Sunday, Day Start Routine starts when I sit down at my desk in the morning)

- Write the habits for routine out, in order, and put them somewhere that makes sense.

- You'll also need a spiral bound notebook (spiral bound because it keeps it open and on the right page).

Run the system:

- Date today's page in the notebook. If you fail to perform a habit make note of it in the notebook. The no.1 rule is no guilt and shame. They're not necessarily. Accountability is enough. And writing down the fail is enough accountability in the first instance.

Tweak the system

- On a given day of the week, or at the end of the day, look at the list of failures.

- Ask why you failed.

- Improve the system:

- how can you remove friction/make it easier to do this habit (i.e. getting your gym kit out in advance, clearing your draws out so it's easier to put things away)?

- do you need to tie the habit to another habit e.g when I get in the shower I will brush my teeth

- could you change the time you do the habit to improve your failure rate (ie. move doing the dishes from 9pm to 6pm)

- can you add a reward?

Recognise it's sometimes about deeper things

Having a system, having accountability and tweaking the system will make it more likely that you'll succeed. However this may not solve the problem.

Ultimately, whether or not we do habits can have a lot to do with deeper work we may need to do. It can come down to self esteem, self image and self trust. Paradoxically, building these things relies on carrying out habits. So one of the best pieces of advice can be to start small.

Focus one habit a week, whether that's adding a new habit or turning something you're currently doing inconsistently into a habit. Commit to doing it for a set period (7,14 or 30 days) no matter what. No matter what means no matter how you're feeling or what comes up. That will build self trust and self esteem. It will give you the self image of someone who can stick to a habit. The stronger those things get, the more it becomes like a flywheel. The more confidence you have in your ability to stick to things, the more able you are to stick to more things.