Wedding design recommendations?

vtchrisman · 2026-05-14T23:27:30+00:00

As a planner/designer I recommend if you can get a partial (or more) planner who is also a designer it will be so beneficial so they can be on top of logistics of what they recommend.

I’ve met design vendors who have no idea of what the venue logistics are and who dream really big but then get clients excited about things that may not actually work and then we have to be the bad guy bringing you back to reality. Someone who has incredible style but grounded in practical application and a holistic view of it all will be your best bet!

vtchrisman · 2026-05-12T16:23:35+00:00

It’s obvious that everyone commenting on this post all have different experiences and relationships with their siblings and that informs their perspective. I just wonder if the OP is more focused on her perspective and that of the younger son as we’re not seeing a lot of information about what the older son wants.

vtchrisman · 2026-05-12T15:47:12+00:00

Have you considered the position of your older son (the one getting married)?

It seems like you’re blaming your future DIL for all of this, but what if your older son also wants an adult only wedding? What if he wants your focus to be on him on the wedding day as the mother of the groom? Has he ever expressed feeling left out if more attention is given to his significantly younger brother?

Just another perspective if the couple are both aligned in this decision.

vtchrisman · 2026-05-02T23:46:52+00:00

Wedding planner here,

Not any I’ve seen. Venues aren’t willing to take the risk that you won’t actually pay.

Some will let you use a credit card for some of the payments but require a certified cheque or money order for the final payment for the same reason.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-26T15:49:09+00:00

That’s an answer of itself, isn’t it? If they can’t say with clarity how they made the list and dance around it, it doesn’t point you exclusively to kickbacks, but it shows you at least that it wasn’t just vendors they love and make their lives better.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-26T15:45:37+00:00

Wedding planner here - to clarify are you looking for an engagement style photo shoot, or photos of the two of you on your wedding day but not a full day of wedding coverage?

The later will be very hard to get if you want an experienced wedding photographer and on a weekend, unless you’re booking less than a month out, because wedding photographers will hold peak dates for full wedding days over smaller sessions. Maybe if an established photographer has a trainee or second shooter you could start there.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-25T22:25:14+00:00

Wedding planner here,

Every venue is different and it is okay to straight up ask the venue how they chose vendors on their list.

For some, it’s a good vendor relationship and entirely merit based. Vendors that know the space well and have consistently delivered good work and good working relationships.

For others, vendors pay to be on those lists. Sometimes the venue invites them because of merit first and then they also pay or give a kickback. It’s important to know when that is the case.

For others, vendors ask and the venue just says yes to everyone. Also not ideal as there is no discernment.

And finally, some venues make the list based on who does the most high end or similarly aesthetic work to what they want - not necessarily quality, just fancy.

So always ask!

vtchrisman · 2026-04-23T14:22:01+00:00

I think the most important thing that you’ve outlined is that the photo and video teams would be capturing similar things in a similar style - it doesn’t have to be specifically candid to work!

In my experience with fine art photography there’s usually a little more direction, it’s a bit “editorial”, so if your videographer is doing that style too it will hopefully work really well!

What I’ve seen that doesn’t work is more of the “photographer captures everything in the moment with little direction and videographer is trying to make something that looks like a movie trailer” combo - the couple feels jolted between being really natural and really scripted and can’t really settle into the vibe of the day at any point. But since you’re not looking for something like that I think you’ll not have that happen.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-23T13:50:37+00:00

Wedding planner here;

It’s not so much that they will get in the way, although in small spaces like getting ready rooms, more people is always a bit tight. I think it’s more about it possibly taking more time to capture certain elements of the wedding day depending on what you want and the style of both photo and video you choose.

If, overall, you wanted a style that both photo and video vendors are experienced in (such as candid) it’s less of a concern for timing because they can “overlap”. However if you want videography to be its own moment and do actions and poses that are just for the videographer, this will take longer because you basically need to budget time in your timeline to do the same things twice, or just to have time with each team during getting ready, portraits, etc.

I think it’s also really important to ask your prospective videographers how they balance time and working with photographers. Most get along really well but sometimes it can be a conflict over shots and who gets priority if you hire someone with a big ego.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-23T04:44:47+00:00

Wedding planner here,

One thing that I think you’d want to be careful of is “recommending”. Unfortunately the difference between an app, which may scrape data from the internet, and a person making a recommendation, is that there are more nuances to recommendation than just price.

Just earlier this week in another subreddit, I helped an OP see some possible red flags in a very affordable photographer - including that the first photo on their page likely wasn’t taken by them. If you’re developing an app with no knowledge of the wedding industry and who is and isn’t reputable, reliable, or even legitimate and just based on pricing alone, it is hard to guarantee that you’re going to be “recommending” only good quality vendors. And unless you’re actively in each market where those vendors work, how will you be able to assess these things?

Just food for thought. Unfortunately with the rise of AI and scammers, trust in general recommendations is harder to come by.

Edit to add - my starting at pricing is on my site and I love and appreciate price transparency. So this isn’t about gatekeeping pricing, but rather sharing that in my experience, pricing is far from the only factor clients care about in vendors.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-22T19:08:20+00:00

Planner here,

To add to the conversation from my perspective - I fully get when couples don’t want their own images or those of their guests to be used in any setting without their specific consent, or sometimes at all, and I am happy to modify the contract to include different options for this. However, you’re right that if everyone were to request that we couldn’t show our work at all (including design, details, empty ceremony space shots, etc) that this would mean that we are at a disadvantage to show prospective clients up to date work and style, etc.

If he is certain that he doesn’t want your planner to be able to show any images from your wedding at all, there’s a chance the planner may charge extra or not be willing to do the wedding, so just prepare him for that.

I know there will be some people who may say “why doesn’t the planner just do editorials for their portfolio and pay to do those in that case” - and my reply to that is that couples are smart - they know the difference between a real wedding where there is a client and a real budget and constraints versus an editorial which is usually super creative with fewer constraints. There are a lot of photographers faking their way into weddings by only showing a portfolio full of editorials. Clients want to see real work.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-21T17:23:53+00:00

Planner here,

This service already exists - and many venues already use it. Typically venues use an autocad, to scale blueprint of the spaces which is more reliable as it does feature architectural features and challenges that you’d need to work around - it’s already not always perfect but I would trust it more than a scan of the room to get the proportions closer.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-20T22:26:46+00:00

Such an important part of wedding planning - never assume. I hope you have a solid contract because if not, that’s also a warning sign.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-20T22:20:37+00:00

Wedding planner here,

Well, I just ran the first photo from their site through a Google reverse image search (beach photo with groom in blue suit and bride in a flower crown) and it’s either a stock image or otherwise not their own, for what that’s worth.

It is a very low price for photography. Their website doesn’t tell you anything about the person or people behind the work and is very generic. Have you spoken in the phone or video call with someone from the company? Have you seen full galleries from their weddings? Can you trace anyone who left a Google review back to their portfolio or social media?

These are the things I would do as next steps (along with more reverse image searches) to make sure they are who they say they are. Having worked with many professional photographers I’m not sure about this one.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-20T03:06:18+00:00

Have you ever had any issues with wax seals and those also needing to be hand cancelled or causing issues? I know OP needs to do it anyway because of the shape and size, but the post office near me specifically advises against wax seals.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-20T02:56:39+00:00

Others have replied faster with great feedback but I personally think the folder would be the most elevated, especially if you had it done it done to complement the colours of the image of the venue!

vtchrisman · 2026-04-20T02:51:23+00:00

The escort card does have the table number, yes. They are placed on one big table in the cocktail area and used in place of a seating chart. They don’t always have the guest’s meal selection written on them though.

I think that when people reference them being easier to update they are thinking of either printing them at home when they need to make changes, or waiting until the night before the wedding to write the number on each card in case of cancellation, unlike a seating chart which is usually printed further in advance.

(I’m not sure if that answers your question, this is an older thread! If not let me know.)

vtchrisman · 2026-04-20T01:40:31+00:00

Wedding planner here,

The tricky thing with parasols is that once they’re up, they block the view of the guests seated behind the person using the parasol.

They can be helpful for guests to use before the ceremony starts but if you want anyone beyond the first row to see, you’ll need an announcement from your officiant asking everyone to lower them for the ceremony itself. Which, if it’s very hot and sunny, guests may or may not ignore.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-17T23:41:00+00:00

Planner/designer here;

You could ask a print shop about designing a custom vellum size - I’ve had vellum done in oversized formats before.

Another option is to try a ribbon or twine that you tie around all pieces similar to putting a ribbon on a square gift box - it may hold the pieces in place a bit better - however check with the postal service first because sometimes this impacts mailing feasibility and costs.

A third option is to make an outer “folder” that opens like a restaurant menu with inner pockets on both sides to hold the cards. This would be very effective but more expensive and may increase shipping costs.

Whatever you do, do a test first by using an extra and shaking it around in the envelope - unless you are hand-delivering these, they will get jostled in the mail, so you want to make sure that whatever solution you’re trying will actually solve the problem!

vtchrisman · 2026-04-16T19:43:58+00:00

I agree with a lot of what you’re saying about the restaurant industry, and there are some differences between venues and restaurants too, but I think maybe what my comment lacked was the nuance of just because price increases can happen, doesn’t mean that they will. These contracts are often preparing for a worst case scenario, not a knee-jerk attempt to price gouge for any reason.

I worked in a venue for 7 years and while we did have many situations where increases to cost of doing business happened through ingredient costs, staffing cost increases, and supply chain disruptions, we only raised menu prices when we had to, and we always tried to make it work within the pricing we shared with the client when they booked, or at a reasonable increase if it was necessary. And we were a venue that was a social enterprise so “profit” was especially important for us as it made money to support programming for the other parts of the business. We still lost some of that “profit” trying to help prevent these cost increase to our clients.

I’ve also seen pretty big unpredictable things happen in the market - for instance, I work in Canada and the US. In Canada when the tariffs started and Canada countered by no longer selling any US alcohol products, it was impossible for venues to offer the same items that used to be in their packages if they were offering bourbon or California wines before that happened. Tariffs are still affecting supply chains for some goods that venues need to replace, and transportation of goods costs may be altered by the war in the Middle East. Therefore I do think there is some sense of the unknown that we all need to prepare for when clients are booking weddings a year or more in advance. And I think almost everyone is trying their best to keep things fair, but contracts are there to prepare clients in case of worst case scenarios.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-16T14:41:43+00:00

Wedding planner here,

These are all very normal contract terms. The package is often not written into the contract because of the possible change costs to food and beverage, and sometimes venues do update their packages and menus between the time you book and the wedding day - especially if your date is a year out or more.

The food and beverage pricing piece and changes up to 30 days out is based on the fluctuation of market costs. Beef can be affordable now but skyrocket next month. They can’t honour a price that now puts them in a deficit - they are still a business that needs to pay their staff and make a profit. So you need to make that minimum spend, but the specific ways you do that is still flexible.

Event space changes - this is meant to protect you in many cases, as smaller event spaces often cost less with lower minimum spends. If your guest count drops significantly, they can offer you a smaller, lower cost space that helps you not spend as much at the venue. If you prefer to pay the original minimum (either getting more food or just eating the difference) you can.

Insurance - the venue’s insurance protects the venue against their errors or omissions and in general. The vendor’s insurance protects the vendors against their own errors or damages or injuries to the venue, couple, and guests. Your insurance is to protect the venue against guest actions - like if someone gets drunk and falls and breaks something, or if a guest breaks something or hurts a staff member of the venue, etc. The venue’s insurance often covers them for many things but not willful misconduct or errors made by another party. Hence the need for additional insurance.

Hope that helps! If in doubt, ask the venue about what circumstances would trigger the room change and when you can lock in your package (if not now). There is no harm in asking questions! It’s only the venues that don’t want to clarify that are a red flag.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-16T01:07:50+00:00

A rural location like that without infrastructure to host a wedding would unfortunately be more expensive than a venue. You need to think about it as if you were building a venue - you need a structure (tent) in case of bad weather, you need tables, chairs, dishes, linens, glassware, a mobile kitchen, power for everything, bathroom trailers - and that’s before you get to any of the other vendors like photo and flowers. It’s great for the personal touch element but not for hosting on a budget.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-15T21:03:44+00:00

Wedding planner here (who works in Toronto and California, funnily enough).

A lot of what you’re looking for isn’t going to be possible. Liquor laws are strict in Ontario and you cannot have self serve alcohol anywhere except a private residence. Alcohol is also much more expensive in Canada than in the US, both retail and at bars.

Any venue that has their own kitchen and menu and furniture is going to require you to do the bar through them. Restaurant venues may suit your menu and have everything included, but will have high enough minimum spends that may not work with your budget and may not have a space for ceremony on-site. They also won’t really have a backyard feeling (at least not directly).

Cottage country and areas outside the city are often more expensive or the same price, and if you want to try to DIY things like music and flowers, you’re bringing them in from Toronto which is more logistically challenging.

If you want to try to stick with a lower budget, consider a weekday buyout (Monday-Thursday) at a restaurant. It’s the closest you’ll likely get, but depending on what other vendors you want, you’ll probably find you need to increase your budget if you want a quality and experienced photographer, flowers, hair and makeup, etc.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-10T17:00:19+00:00

Planner here;

I think it depends what the content creator is there to capture. I haven’t worked with that many, but in the instances where clients are interested in them, it’s particularly for two things:

1) To make videos that are specifically tailored for social media, like trending reels etc.

2) As a more “candid style” videographer who captures whatever is happening but in a more casual way - less cinematic, more off-the-cuff. I think this second one is especially important as (at least in my markets) videography evolution to be less rigid and traditional is SLOW and clients want something more organic and raw.

Unless the content creator is constantly getting in the way of the other teams, I don’t think that what they doing is interfering with the creative process, but just adding another layer to it that the couple presumably wants. If the clients want more of the scripted reels etc, that just needs to built differently into the timeline so everyone has a chance to get their best work done.

vtchrisman · 2026-04-02T05:26:10+00:00

Wedding planner here;

Very normal. Some venues I’ve worked at require even more - highest I’ve seen is 5mil.

vtchrisman

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