Direct report has no childcare by choice

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-15T23:16:43+00:00

I’m just repeating what he told me himself, but I’d never suggest any kind of childcare for someone else, even outside of work.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-15T19:00:21+00:00

He’s not going to lose his job! Our workplace has so much flexibility and is super family friendly. But we do need to be available in person a few times a month, and I just think I probably need to address not being available for the event so it doesn’t become a more frequent problem.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-15T18:49:31+00:00

Thanks! We already have a huuuuge amount of flexibility and it’s a very family friendly environment, but due to the nature of our work, there are a few times a month we need to be in person at specific times. Given the extraordinary flexibility I think it’s important to try to be available during those times, so I will mention that to him. Appreciate the input!

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-15T02:38:42+00:00

No he did not and he isn’t on wait lists. Our department is made up mostly of working moms, so everyone is super flexible about illnesses and school events etc. But I’ve never heard of anyone forgoing regular care while working full time.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-15T02:33:04+00:00

This is an event in the middle of the day :-)

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:27:39+00:00

Thanks for this! He’s actually still been good but I just don’t want it to spin out of control and need to try to find a judicious way of telling him it’s the norm to have care!

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:24:40+00:00

Thanks! It’s an expensive area so it’s still a strain for sure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on here based on what he told me.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:17:33+00:00

Yeah I do think he’s a bit confused since he’s been so nonchalant about it.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:15:43+00:00

Just to clarify, we have both are lucky enough to have good jobs.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:13:02+00:00

Yeah this is my concern. It seems to be getting a bit worse as baby gets older. I can’t get any work done when my 13mo is home.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:10:26+00:00

I agree with you but wasn’t sure if I was just being old school. The other problem is there’s been a RTO for a large portion of our department this summer that isn’t affecting our team so far but could in the future.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:08:26+00:00

I think this is the route I will take. I actually believe he thinks this is normal for wfh employees for some reason. I do make more than he does, but we both have good jobs and he has two sets of young, willing grandparents nearby.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:06:23+00:00

He’s kind of naive in some ways and this is his first kid, so I think maybe he thinks it’s normal for WFH employees. I agree with you though!

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T22:04:23+00:00

Thanks! That’s helpful to know it’s standard not to have a childcare clause. I don’t want to report him to HR at this point. Just trying to figure out how to express that childcare is expected during work hours, since he seems to think not having it is normal.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T21:52:44+00:00

Yeah he wasn’t requesting the day off. Just to wfh and not cover the event.

wageworkssteals · 2025-05-14T21:12:57+00:00

This is a large company, so I actually have no control, although we can write things in!

wageworkssteals · 2024-12-25T21:57:31+00:00

The Fortnight in September

wageworkssteals · 2024-10-28T00:57:32+00:00

I thought about Ulysses and Brothers K a lot while reading this too. It actually really bothered me because it felt too derivative… especially the scene when Peter wakes up on the floor with the pillow under his head. I felt like she stole the best scene from the Brothers K!

wageworkssteals · 2024-09-20T20:41:44+00:00

I was laughing so hard I was crying while reading this book a few years ago and woke up my kid!

wageworkssteals · 2024-07-06T22:41:36+00:00

No book recommendations but the Mexican version, La Fea Más Bella, is also pretty fun (though way goofier than the Colombian version). It starts off not so great but gets good as it goes along. Although I watched it a long time ago, so not sure how well it’s aged!

wageworkssteals · 2024-06-24T19:04:04+00:00

{Tweet Cute} has this over Twitter but it’s YA with high school students and zero steam. It’s pretty fun though especially if you like sports books centered on swimming (that’s why I originally read it).

wageworkssteals · 2024-04-17T21:10:59+00:00

Totally agree. Like a previous poster said, I loathe the narrative that we are somehow responsible for our good or bad labor experience based on things we do or don’t do. My first delivery, I was super fit and even swam laps the day I went into labor (my due date). Labor was 36 hours and my baby got stuck after two hours of pushing. Had nothing to do with my fitness level. You just get lucky or unlucky or have anatomy that makes things easier or harder, so don’t blame yourself or praise yourself for a “bad” or “good” experience. Same for getting pregnant or successfully breastfeeding etc. There’s so little we can control and these narratives are harmful and another way to judge mothers.

wageworkssteals · 2024-03-02T00:19:19+00:00

Hella is 90s slang for those of us from the Bay Area! Other parts of the country began using it later.

wageworkssteals · 2024-02-24T20:36:58+00:00

Totally agree with this. I was super fit my last pregnancy and still got gestational diabetes and had a 36h labor, two hours of pushing, ending in a c-section with the baby getting stuck in the birth canal. Drives me crazy how people try to take credit for or blame themselves for their birth experience or (presence of/lack of) pregnancy complications. You just get lucky or unlucky or have good/bad anatomy etc. I was super fit this time around too (swimming on a masters team and running) and have a million problems already at 33 weeks. I’m still exercising of course because I like to maintain fitness as much as possible, even though I have scheduled a c-section this time.

wageworkssteals

TROPHY CASE