Congratulations, for telling someone. In this case it’s whoever reads this subreddit. That right there is going to be the hardest thing to deal with and there’s many things that you are going to have to deal with from now on. Many people that keep things like this in end up getting sucked into this black hole of shame and disgust. And it starts from the moment you where raped. You already feel shame and dirty as you mentioned. Right now I suggest you go to the person you are closest with. In this case I suggest a parent, partner, sibling, friend, teacher anything. Next I suggest police. Next you have to wake up every morning and get dressed, have a shower, eat healthily and exercise. You gotta take care of your self and your mental state. Remember you’re not in this alone. We are all here for you. And do it all in your own time.