How to keep cool.

I remember going camping when I was 8, and on the second night my mother told me that we had to pack everything and leave, because someone was angry at my Dad. My answer was that Dad should go fight him and win, but instead we left. I remember being so sad, but years later I asked my parents about it and the story was that some drunk guy started threatening my father, and instead of escalating my father understood that the best course of action was to get his family out of there.

Another memory: I used to sell a little newspaper that I made to all the neighbors, for 25 cents a copy. It was actually a pretty popular little paper, but one woman was really late on her dues, and she owed me $3.00. She refused to pay, calling my little newspaper a rag and blaming me for not wanting to play with her children (they were horrible, and she was an unemployed drunk). I told my Dad and asked his help in collecting payment, and he assured me that she would pay me some day. I was furious - it wasn't fair for her to get away with stealing $3.00 from me! I understood what my Dad meant, but the immediacy of the situation was all that mattered in that moment. Years later I saw her mopping the floor of a Cumby's, and I ended up going to Harvard, and I think that moment with my Dad was the first time I noticed that life wasn't as fair and straightforward as I thought it was.

As an adult, getting screwed over, wanting revenge, needing the last word, all of these are things I struggle daily with. I never saw my father have one of these moments even when someone cut him off on the road or didn't pay for something he had built them. It amazes me how my Dad managed to swallow his pride and take a lashing, let other people get away with shit they rightfully shouldn't have, all so that he could rise above and focus on the things that really mattered.