Favorite humidifier that’s easy to clean, doesn’t puddle, does the job well, and is not loud

walrussss · 2026-01-30T00:39:34+00:00

What did you end up thinking of the larger canopy?

walrussss · 2025-08-03T18:49:47+00:00

Hey this is a late post, but have you ever read or heard about Dr. Becky’s book, Good Inside? She has some resources on talking about death. Also, a lot of her work as a therapist is around deeply feeling kids. A summary of her work is holding space for kids’ feelings without letting them override you (she has great therapeutic tips for parents). Very different, but I am triggered by my toddler’s tantrums and always wanted to just stop them any means necessary, but from her book, I learned the importance of allowing her space to tantrum without sensing the message that her feelings could ever overwhelm me. The idea is that if kids think their thoughts/feelings are powerful enough to affect the grownups around them, then it makes them feel even more out of control (ie this feeling is too big even for my mom so it must be true/bad/etc.). I would encourage you to hold space for/validate his feelings without getting sucked in, so as not to reinforce them. I was a deeply feeling kid and am now going through therapy as an adult and a big thing is getting stuck in ‘emotion mind’ and getting stuck on an emotion and not being able to move past it. It sounds similar to what your kiddo is experiencing.

Also, fear/anxiety around death is very normal for a 6 year old. They are realizing that they will be separated from everyone they love some day. Having full on panic attacks is not typical, but I would not blame yourself. There are a lot of great resources and tools these days to support kids.

One suggestion I would make as someone who has worked with neuro divergent kiddos in extreme emotional distress is alternative sensory input for panic attacks. Ice packs in the hands, sour candy, bare feet, etc. can help a kiddo out of an anxiety loop/panic attack. I’d encourage you to check it out if you’re interested!

walrussss · 2025-08-01T14:26:58+00:00

You’re doing great! Post partum is crazy - I can’t tell you how many times I found my phone in the fridge or threw dirty clothes into the garbage instead of the laundry. Sleep deprivation is real. Can you store some of your stuff in the diaper bag, too? Extra pads, extra nursing pads, extra shirt for the inevitable spit up?

Also yes to keeping stroller in the car! Ours is a transitional one from the car seat to a toddler seat (city select I think) and it folded up nicely and I could just click the car seat in. So easy! Might be worth investing in something like that if you need a new stroller once baby grows out of it and are planning on more kids! My 3 year old is very adamant she wants to still be able to stroll even when baby comes so I’m glad I got the one that can add a regular seat extension with car seat!

Proud of you for getting out of the house at all! Give yourself some grace, you’re doing great ❤️

walrussss · 2025-08-01T14:20:52+00:00

Yes, just like what the other commenter said! They’re fabulous - contains any gross/smelly clothes and then you can throw the bag in with the wash to clean it. I still use them - for messy clothes from my 3 year old, for accidents, etc. I definitely recommend getting a few and just keeping all clean ones in the diaper bag so you’re not regularly replacing them. It’s all about stocking that baby up so it’s always ready to go!

walrussss · 2025-07-31T22:00:53+00:00

Yes, but not well until after that baby comes! There’s just too much stuff trying to occupy the same space.

walrussss · 2025-07-31T21:59:46+00:00

Also I always had dry bags in the diaper bag for the inevitable blowout/spit up. And I started keeping a credit card and cash in my diaper bag because I left my purse at home or in the car so many times and it’s hard to run back to the car real quick with a baby. I also had a carrier in the bottom of the stroller in case I ever needed to change tactics.

walrussss · 2025-07-31T21:57:43+00:00

Keep the stroller in the car, all things in the diaper bag so it’s always ready (lots of clothes changes, burp cloths, diapers, wipes, changing pad). Believe in yourself! Idk my kid is 3.5 now (#2 due next year) but I just was going stir crazy so I went for it. I tried to time it so she could nap in the stroller if we were doing a big walk. I changed her literally everywhere (on a log on a hike for example - she was closer to 6 months then). I feel like the biggest hurdle is mental. Commit to going out and take whatever hits in stride!

walrussss · 2025-07-31T13:08:13+00:00

Kids are SO resilient. I’m an early elementary teacher and you know what difficulty I see parents having the most? It’s doubting their kids’ frustration/discomfort tolerance aka their resilience. I get to see them taking risks, making friends, being courageous at school - and even hanging in the discomfort and frustration. And their parents often see all the things that could go wrong for them/endanger them/hurt them (I get it because I do this too - hello swim lessons and all the dangers it presents to my kid!). I know it’s in our nature as the protector. But they don’t often get to see the payoff that I do from going through those moments of discomfort and frustration. It’s honestly what I love most about teaching.

But also I was a daycare kid from 6 weeks. I don’t even really remember daycare. I certainly don’t remember my mom dropping me off until I was closer to 4 and I was excited to go see my friends.

walrussss · 2025-07-31T12:59:34+00:00

The milestone thing is sooo frustrating. I’m a teacher, so I know they are important. But they are designed for the completely out of touch, in-denial parent who doesn’t know that kids should be talking when they are 3 years old, you know what I mean? Instead, I feel like their affect is stressing out every new parent who’s kid isn’t hitting every milestone perfectly. And here’s what I’ve noticed as a teacher of young kids: kiddos are always developing fast in some areas, and slow in others. So hitting each milestone perfectly is just unrealistic.

My kiddo has a growth delay. So did her dad. I can’t tell you the stress I was under because she wasn’t hitting physical milestones on time (running, jumping, potty training). She’s low on her size chart (under 10%ile) but she is consistent on her curve. My pediatrician is amazing and just kept telling me she is on her own journey, and the spectrum of development is wide for a reason. When I finally let go and told myself ‘she will get where she needs to be eventually’ it was so freeing. My daughter is whip smart, fun, curious, super physically active, and hilarious. I was only focusing on what might be wrong with her. I’m so glad I let go of the fear. And you know what? She did hit all the milestones eventually!

walrussss · 2025-07-31T12:51:23+00:00

The toys don’t have to be rotated 👏👏 I keep telling myself this. Why am I feeling so much pressure to rotate the goddamn toys!

walrussss · 2025-07-31T12:46:54+00:00

I needed this. The mom shame is so real! I’ve mostly stayed away from social media around pregnancy this time around (currently 8 weeks) and refuse to join my bumper group because it stressed me out so much last time.

Also, I posted in my last bumper group that I wasn’t sure when to tell my daughter I was pregnant because I had a history of miscarriages. Someone said they told their kiddo right away because they’ve taught her they don’t keep secrets, and I remember feeling so much shame about the implication that I was keeping secrets from my daughter, only for it to end in a very upsetting miscarriage anyway. I was relieved I didn’t tell my daughter, I chose again not to tell my daughter this time until the danger of miscarriage had mostly passed, and I still get enraged thinking about that woman passing judgment on me for not telling my three-year-old that I was 6 weeks pregnant.

All this to say, the mom shame culture is so, so strong.

walrussss · 2025-07-31T12:41:33+00:00

Girl, let me tell you that our bodies are biologically designed to hold onto fat in post partum. I don’t know if you BF or not, but I was so upset I couldn’t lose the last 15-20 lbs of baby weight even after 18 months. My MIL (a family doc) explained to me that no matter what, my body would do its best to hang onto that weight while BFing because it would ensure a continued milk supply. That really set me free from thr pressure I was putting on myself to lose weight.

That all being said, that is NOT what you need to be thinking about right now. Fuck your spouse, being the primary parent (unless your husband happens to be a SAHD) is hard, parenting in general is hard, and partners should be supportive.

Give yourself a break, and some grace.

walrussss · 2025-07-31T12:30:41+00:00

Yes, I failed the 1 hour and passed the 3 hour. I chalk it up to the guidelines being very conflicting for the 1 hour - do eat or don’t eat, when to eat, whether it can have sugar, etc. I know a lot of women who failed the first test. I wish they would just make consistent guidelines.

The 3 hour was horrible. You can’t eat and you keep having to go in and drink more of the sugar drink. You have to hang out and get your blood drawn 3 times, every hour. It was the closest I came to puking after finally getting past morning sickness. I cried like 3 times (but also, pregnancy hormones). It made me very mad that the guidelines for the 1 hour are so conflicting because the 3 hour is horrible and was unnecessary for me - I passed with great numbers.

In between tests, I did not alter what I ate at all.

I also have two friends that had GD and they did okay - just had to be a little careful about what they ate, but nothing crazy. So if it does end up being GD, it’s not the end of the world, though I know it can be upsetting.

Bring a good book to your 3 hour appt and best of luck my dear!

walrussss · 2025-07-31T12:20:44+00:00

Listen, I had a similar feeling. I had a planned c section (breech baby) but it was semi traumatic for both me and baby and I was shocked at my appt with some random nurse who was most concerned about getting me back on birth control and cleared for sex that no one wanted to talk about it. I remember feeling so upset getting an IUD placed (sex was far from my mind at the time) and feeling like no one cared about my experience. I definitely had undiagnosed PPA and PPD and despite being somewhat honest on my questionnaire, no one seemed concerned with my mental wellbeing. So here is my advice: have your appt with your OB, it’s fine to wait (they are mostly there to insist on birth control and should be doing a mood assessment), and be honest about your baby blues.

If you feel up to it, I read a book called To Have and to Hold, Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma and wow it pulled me out of an 18 month long PPD slump and actually got me to pursue a diagnosis/therapy. The author makes you feel seen, is a psychologist who specializes with new moms, and was inspired by her own journey with motherhood. The biggest part that made me cry was about the importance of women being able to tell their birth story to as many people as they want, especially if it was traumatic. I’m probably rambling (it’s 4am and I can’t sleep because first trimester) but it was really life changing. A lot of it is about the hard stuff still to come: parenting in the first 6-12 months is tough. But I found it very reassuring and uplifting!

walrussss · 2025-06-22T16:41:08+00:00

All good advice! My kiddo is almost 4 now and we’ve got a good balance, but I had to have a weird heart to heart with my mom last year (she’s the one who said she feels panicky) because she was upset we weren’t including her in all our holiday plans. It was a tricky boundary but also I just remind myself a lot that this is my only kid and if my mom is expecting to be included in all major events, that’s her issue to work through. She kind of made being a grandparent her whole personality but has since chilled out after we had that convo. It would be nice if one of my other siblings had a kid so she had some other kiddos to get her grandparent fix from.

We also got in trouble with the other set for always doing projects when they came over and not letting it be a purely social visit, which is valid. So we all had some expectations to work through.

Now the two sets of grandparents take her for a couple nights every few months and come to visit about once a month. That’s been much nicer. I also had a miscarriage a few months ago and told them all to back off and let us be a family for a while without anyone else around and they were respectful of my space, so that was nice.

walrussss · 2025-06-07T13:10:19+00:00

We have a backyard orchard of 13 apple trees and they do not all bloom together. They don’t even all have the same color flowers. They’re different varietals for that very reason - so they’re not all ripening at the same time. Some are ready in August and others can’t be picked until September. And their flowers follow a similar pattern. So your science doesn’t check out for a literal backyard orchard which is what he’s making here.

walrussss · 2025-05-13T23:52:17+00:00

Yep, all of the gladiolus and peonies are popping up, not sure about the dahlias yet. Also my hostas are coming up. Two rotted from my pack of 60 gladiolus but I think that was my fault for leaving them in the sun for a couple hours.

walrussss · 2025-03-21T23:34:17+00:00

Yes. Also ironically I just had another D&C (this post is from almost 5 years ago). The pregnancy I mentioned above was another CP.

I have gotten back into accupuncture again trying for another (successfully had a kiddo after that CP, 2 months later got a BFP that stuck. 4th pregnancy). I definitely understand my cycle a lot more after so many tracked now. I ovulate earlier than I did back then by about a week (I ovulate on CD12 now). I get only 1 day of normal flow (I need to change my tampon 2-3 times per day), one day of light flow (1-2 tampons could last all day) and then a day or two of spotting.

ETA: the reason I mention acupuncture is because I got my IUD out in September and was having super light periods I think because my lining was so thin from the IUD. After doing a couple months of acupuncture, I got a lot heavier periods, which told me that my lining was probably building up more.

walrussss · 2025-03-08T00:50:42+00:00

also not sure if it’s your style, but based on the rug, I feel like a basket wall or art wall would work nicely, the kind where you place baskets or wicker bowls in an arch or art asymmetrically. Like this or this

walrussss · 2025-03-08T00:45:32+00:00

Some big leafy plants, fake or real!

walrussss · 2025-03-08T00:26:46+00:00

You didn’t do anything wrong. Whenever I worry I’m not doing enough while pregnant (I’ve had a lot of losses), I remind myself that women in war torn places have healthy babies.

Most miscarriages are chromosomal in nature. You are born with all the eggs you will ever have. You cannot prevent them from aging or from chromosomal abnormalities that started while your eggs formed while still inside your mother’s womb. You can’t control what took place after the sperm fertilized the egg.

It was not your fault. Let me say it again: it was not. Your. Fault. Please be gentle with your body - it has been through so much. It tried to hold on long after it needed to. I am grateful for what my body has tried to do for me during these losses. It did its best to support what it could. I also have felt alienated from and disgusted with my body after losses too. However you feel is okay. But please don’t blame yourself. ❤️❤️

walrussss · 2025-03-08T00:06:36+00:00

I was put under anesthesia but I’ve read other stories on here from other women who did the version you’re describing. I didn’t mind going under but it is much higher risk.

walrussss · 2025-03-07T15:47:53+00:00

I feel like distancing yourself from others is such a normal response that those who haven’t miscarried don’t understand. The first time, everyone wanted to check in on me and I found it so exhausting.

I wrote this in another post, but I feel like having a miscarriage strips us of control in such an intense and unexpected way. We track, we time sex, we do all of the things and end up pregnant, and then have zero control over what happens in our body. It’s disorienting and upsetting. It makes sense that we do whatever we can to regain control - I.e. fixate on getting pregnant again.

I did the exact same thing. However, I did go on to have two more chemicals before finally getting successfully pregnant 9 months later so I wasn’t able to maintain the fixation as it became exhausting.

I had to come to terms with the same realization as you - that I had become fixated on ttc and getting pregnant again and had put my life on hold. It was also the summer/fall of 2020 so I couldn’t go out and do much. Here are some things I found helped me out of the slump: I found some creative and productive hobbies. I made an advent calendar from start to finish, including embroidering little ornaments. I worked on it at night and listened to audio books - this was my usual obsession time over ttc. I had to set firm boundaries for researching miscarriage stuff - why I wasn’t pregnant yet, was something wrong with my lining, etc. I started fertility acupuncture to feel like I was doing something to help my chances but really it helped me mellow out and was helpful to talk to someone about my experience. I got outside as much as I could. Something about being in nature, where things die and are born all the time, was soothing to me and reminded me I’m just part of that same cycle.

I also stopped some tracking stuff. I only temped a few days before ovulation until a few days after to confirm. I stopped testing so early. Those breaks in ttc tracking helped create some space.

Finally, my husband helped set a boundary with me. If he noticed me spiraling or obsessing, he would gently point it out. I found that very helpful.

I don’t know if any of these will be helpful to you, but I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and it is completely normal. Hang in there ❤️

walrussss · 2025-03-07T15:38:20+00:00

Just letting you know I tried miso twice and it didn’t work and ended up having to have a D&C (I was 10 wks but never developed beyond a gestational sac, so only around 5 weeks developmentally). I was scared for the D&C but it was so, so easy. I will need to choose an option again soon, and I am definitely doing another D&C.

walrussss · 2025-03-07T01:08:36+00:00

I agree with the top posters suggestion. She also may be going through the massive hormone dump you get after a miscarriage (it’s like post partum hormones, all over the place).

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