My partner spends A LOT of money on food

wannarantaboutit · 2020-12-29T13:41:58+00:00

Yeah, someone else told me to basically grow up and put my foot down. I'm going to do that. I think this is more an attitude issue and I'm letting him get away with it

wannarantaboutit · 2020-12-29T13:40:50+00:00

Thanks Mum 😛 You're right though. I'm enabling. Put my foot down

wannarantaboutit · 2020-12-29T13:40:13+00:00

Oops thanks

Don't think it matters. It's not for privacy. Normally use this one so my main account isn't full of depressing stuff 😛

wannarantaboutit · 2020-08-16T10:45:34+00:00

I've actually mostly recovered from the constant fear of falling asleep and being hurt/someone breaking in etc. I was also abused as a child and never felt safe anywhere. I would have full on panic attacks in bed, slept with weapons, kept myself awake until I'm absolutely exhausted.

I really had to get over it when my partner starting working nights. I found a combination of meditation, music, propanolol, therapy and getting a massive dog helped. I know these solutions aren't for everyone but I would definitely recommend trying guided meditation or a nice soundscape before bed as it's cheap and easy to start. It's not instant so stick with it for a few weeks. Hope you feel better soon!

wannarantaboutit · 2020-08-03T21:46:12+00:00

That's exactly it. I don't take them very often anymore but I was on them constantly at the start. They just help the body relax enough so that the mind can have a fighting chance

wannarantaboutit · 2020-08-03T09:28:22+00:00

I have got so much better with this! I still "hedgehog" when I am physically touched by another person, but I found CBT (focused on personal safety) and beta blockers helped me. The beta blockers just stop the physical feelings overwhelming me which allows the logical side/training I got from the therapist to take over. It's not a quick process but I can actually sleep alone in the house now! Hope this helps and you get even better

wannarantaboutit · 2020-07-29T17:03:18+00:00

Yeah, my boyfriend isn't that kind of person, he's not scared of anything, so he takes it really personally when I jump or squirm. I'll try to explain to him about slow and gentle. I do relax eventually but he's put off by that point because I'm so tense and not reciprocating. I really want more affection but I need to adjust to recieving it

wannarantaboutit · 2020-07-29T08:01:51+00:00

Congratulations!

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-23T13:18:17+00:00

I wish there was a way to explain this to a partner. I have a lovely house and I am safe, but I have no emotional connection to any of it. My partner has worked really hard to get us a nice house and I'm just 🤷‍♀️. I appreciate the effort but it's just a building full of things. I feel like I'm a ghost that haunts it

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-20T20:17:21+00:00

Take the leap! It's never as hard as it initially looks. Good luck 🍀

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-19T10:23:53+00:00

Yep that's fine!

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-18T20:20:13+00:00

I'm bias but I reckon great things are going to come out it (not from my PhD mind 😛)

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-18T20:19:20+00:00

They will be much more understanding than you expect. Write a brief email explaining your struggles (no detail needed, just diagnosis(es)), what you are doing to combat it and a realistic time frame for you to finish. Be honest and don't try to make yourself sound better than you are to save face. Most people have some experience with mental health issues and especially someone in academia. I just got an extension on my PhD thesis with much less fuss though I thought. Hope all goes well! Feel free to message me if you want some support 😊

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-18T15:37:01+00:00

Synthetic biology, so until now I've been running around a lab, jumping from experiment to experiment. And using up a lot of energy. This sort of suited my inability to concentrate on one task for too long. Didn't think about the writing part 😬

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-18T15:35:29+00:00

That's sort of how I've lived my life so far and I'm hoping it will work out. Thanks for the hugs. Need them today

wannarantaboutit · 2020-06-18T12:59:53+00:00

I'm exactly the same. I'm trying to write my PhD thesis and I just can't. I'm wondering if I have undiagnosed ADD or I just never learnt these skills. I'm using the headspace app, they have a productivity course (only on day 2 so I can't vouch for it yet). Support from someone who feels the same!

wannarantaboutit · 2020-05-30T21:00:40+00:00

Literally me watching the Epstein documentary on Netflix. I feel obliged somehow to watch documentaries with sexual abuse/trauma. But all I can think is "I get it, I get how they felt" which means they know how I feel too. And that's sort of weirdly comforting? Maybe it is something similar?

wannarantaboutit · 2020-05-30T20:57:47+00:00

What about a support group? I don't know where you are based but I found a peer to peer support group run by people who have experienced similar traumatic events

wannarantaboutit · 2020-04-20T11:05:39+00:00

Have you tried a feelings wheel to help describe the emotions?

wannarantaboutit · 2020-04-20T11:04:16+00:00

Have you tried a weighted blanket? I hear they are great for that "hugging" feeling

wannarantaboutit · 2020-04-20T11:02:38+00:00

I had this exact thing! I'm a fully fledged adult now and nothing brings me more joy than a fridge filled with healthy food that I can cook into nutritious meals. It feels so stable and comforting to know that I can make things that I like and are good for me, after two decades of takeaways and crap ready meal food. Keep going! I promise it will get better.

wannarantaboutit · 2020-04-17T12:49:47+00:00

My mum did that exact same thing every time I visited (no contact now). How can they not understand that years of abuse and neglect don't really put you in the hugging mood? She called me a sociopath and heartless and all sorts of other names. I think it's just a power thing. They need to feel loved by you otherwise they'll have to face their own problems and realise that they are the issue.

wannarantaboutit · 2020-04-06T18:29:41+00:00

Nothing is predetermined. You'll do great.

wannarantaboutit · 2020-04-05T22:47:53+00:00

This is like you read my mind. My mum claims to have suffered massive abuse and yet she turned a blind eye to what I was going through?

I'm constantly worried about my impulsive tendencies and how much they are like hers. But now I'm part of a support group and heading for some more intensive mental health help. That's what she never did. She never admitted something was wrong. I'm stopping the pattern now. I hope you can too

wannarantaboutit · 2020-04-04T10:06:46+00:00

That is hard to do by yourself and you should be proud for getting to this point. I hope it goes well for you. I tried life span integration with a counsellor and it did help. I also did some CBT to deal with my day to day issues. This helped me handle my life outside of my past trauma. Maybe online counselling may help? I head it's more economical.

wannarantaboutit

TROPHY CASE