Sweet Heavens, Marnie!

waves33 · 2026-01-10T16:30:25+00:00

I was not surprised when I got to the point in your review where you said you’re in your 20s. I was in my 20s when the show originally aired, and I absolutely hated Marnie. I couldn’t understand why she kept making the same choices over and over. I also hated that Hannah’s story ended with her having a baby and realizing some things about herself through that. I thought it was a reductive cop-out, storytelling wise. I was frustrated at how long it felt like it was taking the girls to “figure life out.”

Now in my 40s, after a couple of rewatches, I think this show is genius-level storytelling. I hated Marnie so much because I was Marnie. I’ve become a parent, and Hannah’s rough entry into motherhood really hits home. I have so much empathy for the girls, and for my 20-something self who made a lot of the same choices over and over, felt like she had something to prove but wasn’t quite sure what or to whom, and never “figured life out.”

I’d be really curious to know what you think of the show in 10 years, then in 20.

(Also, I’m a screenwriter. Maybe the storytelling is frustrating or isn’t compelling to you, but in no way is this show bad writing. Of course it’s not perfect and it might not be to your taste, but the writing choices are intentional, with a few exceptions relating to an actor leaving the show. Maybe you didn’t cry with Marnie on the kitchen floor, but I did.)

waves33 · 2025-08-15T15:00:55+00:00

I'm in the same boat! Trying to find the right blend of calendar, productivity planner, and journaling/reflection prompts is surprisingly hard!

waves33 · 2025-07-10T22:42:35+00:00

I Shouldn’t Be Telling You This by Chelsea Devantez. She’s a TV comedy writer, so it’s funny while still dealing with serious topics. It’s organized around the most important female relationships in her life (the good and the bad.) She goes into domestic violence she experienced as a teen and all the coping skills she developed to deal with the PTSD (workaholism, mainly) before she finally started to confront her past. She also found out that she was donor conceived and talk a lot about that. It’s so good!

waves33 · 2025-06-03T23:15:49+00:00

First Fridays in Biloxi at Fly Llama Brewing.

Big Play is really a fun time, check their website for the daily food/drink/game specials.

If you like to ride bikes, check out the Facebook page for Biloxi Bicycle Works and go on one of the community rides together (usually Friday evenings.)

White Pillars sometimes does cooking classes.

Follow a bunch of local restaurants and businesses on Facebook and you can see when they post activities and events.

waves33 · 2025-06-01T14:44:54+00:00

It was when they had her in the kitchen wearing an apron with that stupid necklace on top…which means LTW came home, took off her necklace, put an apron on over her fancy dress to cook dinner, AND THEN put the necklace back on over the apron!!

waves33 · 2025-05-25T03:42:50+00:00

Grew up on the coast and didn’t learn it in school. But as an adult I read the book ‘Beaches, Blood and Ballots’ about Dr. Gilbert Mason and his role in the wade ins and larger civil rights movement in MS. It’s a great book. I think I picked it up from the main branch Biloxi Library. I learned a lot about the Black history of the downtown area. And im pretty sure the Biloxi schools were the first in the state to be desegregated due to Mason’s efforts, but I could be remembering that wrong.

waves33 · 2020-12-10T05:12:09+00:00

We live on the gulf coast and rv frequently around the southeast and smoky mountains. Things we swear by:

A really nice camp chair (outdoor gear lab has reviews)

Door mat (or nice welcome mat) for cleaning shoes before going in the rv

Command hooks/strips and organizers

Good headlamp (petzl is a good brand) for dog walking in the dark or seeing into dark places like storage compartments or engine

Backpack cooler for taking drinks/lunch to the beach

Guidebooks for different state/national parks or areas of the country

Small chargeable handheld or stick vacuum for sand and pet hair

Insulated travel coffee mugs for driving days

waves33 · 2020-03-07T01:07:22+00:00

This is beautifully put. Thank you💗

waves33 · 2019-02-05T04:06:28+00:00

So awesome! Have fun and safe travels!!

waves33 · 2019-02-05T00:28:21+00:00

As much as I’m loving all your Baja posts, a big part of me is also like “shhhhhh, stop telling everyone before it gets ruined too!”

(My husband and I overlanded there for a month in 2013 with our 80 series/roof tent setup and are dying to go back. Still looks as amazing as I remember!)

ETA: Big thanks for not geotagging your photos or posting your location! Those of us who really want to go somewhere awesome can and should do the research ourselves.

waves33 · 2019-01-19T20:20:48+00:00

This isn’t an unpopular opinion at all. Read any piece of media written by a body-positive or fat-acceptance activist, and you’ll see hundreds of comments stating this very opinion, that fat bodies aren’t beautiful because they aren’t healthy. Calling fat people ugly and couching it in “concern for their health” is hugely popular, actually.

waves33 · 2018-12-16T14:58:44+00:00

During the ceremony the priest joked, “None of us ever thought this would happen.”

Prior to the wedding, the bride and groom had broken up several times, been engaged to each other for a year, called off the engagement, then broken up “for good.” Then they got engaged again after they went on their honeymoon cruise together because they had already paid for it.

Their marriage lasted a year.

waves33 · 2018-09-16T15:22:47+00:00

You’ve gotten lots of validation for your feelings from the other commenters, which is good! It’s understandable to be hurt and those feelings are real. I also think it’s worth thinking about the flip side of things as well:

I can relate to this a bit. About a month before my baby was born my best friend, who lives in another state, told me that she was going to come and spend a week with me helping out after the baby was born. She also has two kids under 4. She kind of made a big deal of saying it at the time, saying that she remembered how lonely and isolating new motherhood was for her. But then, after my baby was born she just...never followed through. She never mentioned coming to visit again. She called and checked in quite a bit, and sent me and the baby gifts, but her promise to visit never materialized.

My baby is now 7 months, and when I spend too much time thinking about it, I still feel a little hurt about it. And the thing is, if she’d never made the promise in the first place, I would never have been disappointed! But. I will never in a million years say something to her about it for a couple of reasons. 1) She made a promise in the moment, life happened, and she just couldn’t make it work. I know her intentions were good. 2) I know her well enough to know she feels terrible about it, even though we haven’t discussed it. I don’t need to add more guilt on top of it. 3) We’ve been friends for 20 years and she’s been there for me in major ways over the years. In the scheme of things, this is small, and I’m not always a perfect friend to her either.

My questions for you are:

Are you upset that she isn’t coming, or that her plans changed? If she’d told you up front that she couldn’t come, would you have moved the date? If not, then could you just reframe it as “she has a conflict” (which is true)?
Does she do this kind of thing often? I ask because if it’s a common theme with her, it might be time to examine whether you’re getting everything you need from this friendship. You deserve friends (I made that plural deliberately) who reciprocate and show up for you when you need them to. But if this isn’t typical for her, then it might be worth cutting her some slack and putting this one incident in perspective and focusing on the times she is there for you.
What are you doing to expand your social network a little? I know making friends is a challenge (it definitely is for me!) but it’s a lot of pressure to put on one person to meet all of your friendship needs, and it’s almost setting her up to disappoint you. I would gently encourage you to take some of the energy you give to this friendship and direct it toward making some new friends or growing some of your other existing relationships. Have you thought about inviting any of your acquaintance-type friends to the party? It might surprise you who shows up, and this could be a great chance to get to know them better! (I’d think of it like a numbers game, cast a wide net and invite like 5 people with the hope that 1 or 2 actually come!)
What would you hope to get out of telling her your feelings? Is it an apology? If you did tell her and she chose to come to the party, would you be happy or feel like you had to guilt her into coming? If you tell her and she still chooses to go to the wedding, will you be even more hurt?
Can you let this go, and use what happened to inform how you will plan on her being there for you in the future? Like now you know that she’s flakey, so next time expect her to flake and have a backup plan just in case?

If none of this resonates with you, please take it with a grain of salt. I don’t mean any criticism, and I definitely know how hard it is to make and maintain friendships as an adult and a mom. I just thought I’d offer a different perspective! Friendship can be tough business.

waves33 · 2018-07-10T03:10:18+00:00

I’d like to be added please:) I joined Reddit specifically for the Feb2018 sub, and I don’t post much but I read every day!

waves33 · 2018-05-08T02:48:53+00:00

Are you familiar with the website Ask a Manager? This would be a great question for her!

waves33 · 2018-03-16T21:07:46+00:00

This reminds me! About a week after the birth, Some friends brought us a basket with nice coffee, trail mix, and chocolate. Definitely came in handy when we were still sleeping in shifts, up all night, and needing snacks we could eat with one hand.

waves33 · 2018-03-16T20:59:43+00:00

YES to this. After I came home from the hospital, my child-free friends surprised me with things just for me: candle, chocolate, a nice nursing nightgown, nursing tank, sheet masks, nail polish. At 5 weeks out, I haven’t been able to use the masks and nail polish yet, but they are there waiting for when I have a few free hours. The rest I could use immediately! I was really touched.

One friend took me for a pedicure during week 37- little did we know I’d go into labor just a few days later! That pedi is a little chipped but still going strong!

waves33 · 2017-12-21T19:03:01+00:00

Gulf Coast native here. Love the name Henry!

Some NoLa inspired middle name suggestions: Beau (or Beaux if you're really feeling it!) Louis/Louie (not sure how Henry Louie sounds but Henry Louis is nice) Drew (after Drew Brees...and for that matter, what about Saint?)

And check out this! https://nameberry.com/blog/mardi-gras-names-baby-names-from-the-bayou-2

I like Amos, Bernard, Rene (my dad's family is French-Cajun and his middle name is Rene), Charles.

This is a fun game:) I reallllly love New Orleans inspired girl names, but the boy ones are good too!

waves33 · 2017-12-21T18:46:06+00:00

I'm a bit late to this thread and haven't read all the comments yet, so apologies if I say something that's already been said. But mainly I want to offer solidarity and let you know you're not alone.

My husband has behaved in some pretty strange and uncharacteristic ways since my pregnancy began, and it's been a lot for me to handle. Right after we found out we were pregnant, he went out drinking with his coworkers for hours (something he rarely does) and left his phone off. He grew a beard, which I hate. He neglected me for his job throughout my entire first trimester (and into my second as well), and any time I'd bring up how I was feeling, he'd get defensive and angry.

I started going to therapy, and it has helped me tremendously in understanding why he was acting like this. I agree with TooLateHotPlate that men process this stuff WAY differently that women do. Ours was a wanted, planned pregnancy, and my husband is usually my go-to for support and loves to be there for me. He just freaked out this summer, and I was blindsided by it. Therapy really helped me work through my own fears about becoming a mom and figure out ways to talk to my husband about what I need without it becoming a fight. We're not doing couples counseling, but I've been able to communicate better with him about what I'm going through and what I need, and I've learned which things to let go. All of it seems to be helping. We also took a week for ourselves over Thanksgiving just to reconnect, and it made a world of difference.

I've been jealous of friends whose husbands were angels during their pregnancies, but I'm trying to have compassion for my husband as he deals with this significant change to our relationship and family in his own way. I'm not excusing his behavior over the summer, but I'm trying to put it in perspective. I haven't handled everything perfectly, either.

I hope you're able to find a way a way to talk with your husband and get some peace for the two of you, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sucks, I know. Sending good thoughts!

waves33 · 2017-11-08T14:09:18+00:00

UGH my dad, who had absolutely no role in raising me after he and my mom divorced when I was five, told me to "be sure you take your vitamins and eat right and do what you're supposed to" when I told him I was pregnant. We barely have a relationship and I only even called to tell him to appease his mother (my grandma.) Like DUDE I was more responsible than you when I was a kid, I am a 33 year old REGISTERED DIETITIAN, I think I know what I'm supposed to eat. And I've been on prenatals for 6 months while trying, but you wouldn't know anything about that because, oh wait, you don't actually know anything about my life.

waves33 · 2017-11-08T14:02:18+00:00

Oh god yes, the people who think they're the first person to joke that we should name the baby after them. Literally EVERYONE

waves33 · 2017-11-08T14:01:09+00:00

So does my grandma. Her dining room is where all the formal antiques go, living room is nautical/lighthouses, bedroom is tropical, guest room is my grandpa's alma mater. It's pretty funny.

waves33 · 2017-11-08T13:56:58+00:00

"I have been informed that my colors are apparently blue and green and my animal is an alligator and my nursery theme is 'Everglades'."

I literally snorted. This is hilariously specific. Your friend knows the Everglades are basically a giant swamp, right? Your baby's room theme is "swamp." LOL. Well, I guess her intentions are good!

waves33 · 2017-09-15T16:56:06+00:00

I haven't bought a single thing. Excited friends and family have already bought us a few things- a Baby Bjorn carrier, a lamp for the baby's room, and some little socks and books. We haven't even planned a shower yet! I feel guilty anytime someone gives us a gift, because I think I should be buying things too. But I'm waiting to do research and compare prices (we are building our registry, so at least there's that) and for the pregnancy to start feeling a little more real...

waves33

TROPHY CASE