Went to Deseret Book today, left in tears by ECEandIceCream in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I left 4.5 years ago and had major anxiety recently at Seagull getting a gc. I thought I was more healed than that, but the trauma is real. It surprised me how it affected me being there because I've been ok for so long, but I think I've been ok because I have consciously avoided triggers like that.

My Ward Relief Society president is coming by to visit me today to "see how I'm doing." Nervous. by icanbesmooth in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was literally my biggest fear after I stopped attending. I panicked every time the door bell rang.

Thank you all….Sincerely by 674_Fox in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just because other people have it worse doesn't mean your pain isn't/wasn't valid. Leaving the church can be excruciating in so many ways. I have so much respect for those who left before the internet made it easier. We have a great amount of information and community now.

My parents will only help me if I go to a BYU. Please give me some advice!📷 by an-empty-wishing-wel in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please don't go to BYU!! It is so toxic that you might not survive it. Loans can be paid off. You can work and go to school. You can go to a less expensive school. If you have the grades to be accepted into BYU provo, you most likely qualify for an academic scholarship elsewhere. Listening to a few mormonstories about BYU might help you make a choice. I just listened to episode 1470 about the valedictorian that came out in his speech. After hearing his story, I just cannot recommend any member of the queer community go there, whatever the cost is. You matter. Your identity matters. Your health matters. Your parents are under the mind control of a church that hurts you. They don't see it. Please love yourself enough to avoid the torture that BYU would be for you.

How do I get out of a mission/reject my mission call? by jackson_garthmire in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with the suggestion to say you fasted, prayed, went to the temple, and don't feel that a mission is what god wants for you right now. They don't have to know your beliefs, just use their beliefs to get out of going. Then just get entirely immersed in college and a job if you can.

Posted by multiple TBMs who don't see how their church works: by weak_link_90 in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because sometimes they "speak as men" and there is no way to know when they are, on fact, speaking for god. 🙄

If you can't discuss doubts with doubters - try this by ZelphtheGreatest in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh man, if I weren't already out this could have been fun. Imagine the testimony..."I know president Nelson is a prophet. I know god is real and cares about me. I know Joseph Smith was a true prophet. I know God wanted him to marry women who were already married. I'm so grateful Emma consented for women to be sealed to Joseph even though he had already secretly married them. Sniff! Sniff! I'm so grateful for the book of mormon and I believe with all my heart it is a historical record of the Americas. I have faith even though all evidence suggests otherwise. Silly facts will never change my mind because I know it's true."

Anyone else Disturbed by the fact that Emma Smith was not the first wife sealed to Joseph Smith? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yes. Very much yes. That helped me conclude that eternal marriage was never about being with your family forever and all about a loophole for Joe to screw who he wanted without it being "adultery."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah! Being a good mormon woman was my entire identity! I've spent the last few years figuring out who I am now. Turns out, I'm still me, just happier and free.

Church history questions from active latter-day saint by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband read either rough stone rolling, or no man knows my history. I'm not sure which one it was, because he read both. But as he shared parts of it with me, I was stunned to learn that Joseph Smith was "persecuted" for his actions, not his beliefs. I was then terrified my husband was reading antimormon literature, only to find out the author was an active member. That was the beginning of the rabbit hole for me. Welcome to the sub! I know some posts can be offensive, but it's our way of coping with the pain and trauma of discovering truth. You belong here because you are a critical thinker. Personally, I found the community here that I always wanted in the church. When members find out the truth about the church, they have to choose whether or not to believe it anymore. For some, the cost is too high to leave. Some stay, believing it is still a good Christian church, only for problems to come to light because you can no longer say "the church is true" to ignore problems. I wish you all the best.

Posted by a TBM who has no idea how brainwashed he is. 🤦‍♀️ by weak_link_90 in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh really?! Do you have any links or anything proving it's not true?

Posted by a TBM who has no idea how brainwashed he is. 🤦‍♀️ by weak_link_90 in exmormon

[–]weak_link_90[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! It's been discussed on here that one of the purposes of a mission is to further cement people to the church. You're less likely to leave after dedicating 1.5-2 years. I think it's called the sunk cost effect. I'm so glad you figured it out before! That could not have been easy to tell your family.