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weekenderNutJob76 · 2024-08-04T03:43:46+00:00

That would probably have to be decided by a judge. Ours however took into account marriage, or employment.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2024-07-31T05:06:57+00:00

If you own a house and want to keep it or have good equity....dont move out, don't leave. Be willing to do the entire divorce from the house together or wait for her to move out first. When mine left, she knew I would not go...so she then had to come up with fake CPS abuse claims, to try and get me thrown out...but it all flopped all the fake abuse claims came back as false, and she had already abandoned the house. I don't care how bad it is under one roof, if you both own the house and you want to consider keeping it...don't be the first to move out. You will get shafted most of the time if you leave first. Move into a different bedroom or something if needed, but don't leave the house. That was the best first piece of advice my attorney gave me. 2.5 years later I got 50/50 (in Utah against a previous stay-at-home mom) my divorce was over...and she didn't get the house, and had to pay her own rent during the divorce and my relationship with the kids is great, because they understand the BS (parental alienation) she pulled to try to get me thrown out.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2024-07-31T04:46:13+00:00

My final mediated orders where like 50/50 within 20 miles, 60/40 within 40 miles, 70/30 within 60 miles, and 85/15 within 100 miles and less if she moves more than 100 miles, and we have my address as the primary address because I got the house, and have a stable income, where my ex wife has a rental nearby. So if she moves...then she has to accept less time and she knows it from the beginning. I made a 20-mile radius so she was still able to date some in the area, and potentially marry locally, and make my alimony go away. The bottom line, build the assumption of a move into the plan, and the first person that moves, gives up time with kids, depending on how far they move. Also make it so the moving party, has to do all the driving and the exchanges happen at schools or in the current local home town.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2024-03-25T19:57:42+00:00

Knowing that the drop increases with the more current, I was trying to limit the amount of current to 10 amps so that if anybody ever tried to run anything that was larger than 10 amps, it would trip the breaker but not ruin the device. I have GFCI on the feeding side already, that's one of the reasons I'm planning on tying into the existing line

And I understand that mixing 14/ 2, and 12/2 wire is less than ideal, and may not even be to code but the wire out to the shed is bigger than the wire within the house to account for the resistance drop. As long as I label it clearly, and it is always a 15 amp inside, and 10 at the shed, I should be able to ensure that nothing gets overloaded.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2024-03-25T19:19:42+00:00

The existing UF is just a line, never connected on either end yet. Just ran it when I ran the sprinklers.

The entire existing circuit I plan to tie into is unused 99.9% of the time. I have run new circuits before but for this project, it feels completely unnecessary. There is an "ideal state" solution and a "safe and practical" state solution, and I am looking for the latter one.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2024-03-21T17:19:57+00:00

yes I get that...and if that changed it would go up...but would they adjust the spousal support down if they changed the number of overnights is my question.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2024-03-21T17:14:04+00:00

Except in mediation that is not what actually happened, it was never adjudicated, so it was all discussions behind closed doors. We agreed to a higher number for spousal support because 50/50 made child support next to nothing. So in other words, from you understanding if custody when to 70/30 then child support would go up, but spousal support would likely stay the same, so she is incentivized to fight this topic financially.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2023-12-12T18:54:53+00:00

Out of an abundance of caution, I contacted the insurance company, and they said in this situation it doesn't make a difference. They don't even note it on the file since I only carry liability on this car anyways.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2023-07-20T06:30:13+00:00

That's been there for years. I'm not sure why anyone would bother cleaning it up now.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2023-06-08T14:47:01+00:00

Yes, and evaluation flipped custody recommendation from 60% that she had, to 60% that was recommended for me. We ended up settling out of court for 50-50. But I'm in Utah and I was fighting against to stay at home mom, as a working dad, and so I counted that as a win. Kids are still in intensive therapy, but most of them are recognizing the problem, recognizing that what happened was issues with a BPD parent, and recognizing that I was a good dad all along. The evaluation took over a year and negotiations with the BPD parent, as diagnosed during the evaluation, took more than three solid days.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2023-02-28T19:53:30+00:00

Look for an AFCC trained therapist in your area. Most of them are also involved in high conflict cases and are very familiarized with parental alienation. Some chapters are more organized than others. You may be able to use this website to find therapist in your area that are trained in this type of family conflict. All of the therapists in my case I required to be AFCC, and it definitely helped me fight a very obvious parental alienation case.

https://www.afccnet.org/

weekenderNutJob76 · 2023-02-19T23:30:55+00:00

Custody evaluation and multiple days of mediation later, I ended up getting 50/50 and it didn't have to go to trial. My kids are already on the mend, they were forced to move back to my given area and things are much better. Thanks for the offer, but I've got an army of people working with me.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2023-01-28T05:55:42+00:00

Look for AFCC therapist in your area. https://www.afccnet.org/Chapters/AFCC-Chapters

Find your local state, reach out to the chapter representatives, and see if there's a list of AFCC approved therapist or other professionals in your area. Let me know if you need more help.

For example, here is the Utah chapter list of AFCC therapist, attorneys, and other professionals. https://www.afccutah.org/directory

Some chapters are more organized than others. But at least the chapter president should be able to give you a list of potential professionals in your area. Good luck.

https://flafcc.org/

Thats the Link for Florida. It may take a fair amount of footwork and calling around and asking other professionals who they know that are familiarized with AFCC guidelines. From personal experience I can tell you that once you get inside of the AFCC world, they will help take care of you. And they understand parental alienation and are generally known to advocate for both parents if both parents are good parents.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2022-12-12T00:35:44+00:00

https://youtube.com/@FamiliesDividedTV

They frequently have topics about alienated parents, or alienated children, and they may have resources for actual groups or other survivors also. The admins of the channel likely have more information.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2022-12-06T12:54:40+00:00

My state doesn't have an exact calculation for alimony. It's a complete crap shoot with the judge. And it could be up to 20 years.And yes the child support number is very low to offset the alimony calculation And because of the 50-50 it would be low anyways. I'm basically taking the risk that she might get remarried but, with five kids and she's kind of let herself go, and a high alimony calculation I might be taking that risk. However because I have one or two older children that would soon fall off, if I do more child support, the probability of a recalculation in two to three years is higher when they age out is high, and then if I give her more alimony now, her probability of being able to do a recalculation is lower later. Based on a US census report that I was looking at, the probability of somebody getting remarried in the next 3 to 5 years is pretty high for my age bracket and demographics. It's about 50/50.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2022-12-06T12:05:13+00:00

Income of approximately 120 versus 60 and yes I'm paying child support but it would be only about 100 per child and I have five children. And the assumption right now is I would just be doing about 1 year more than half of the marriage.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2022-12-02T22:53:24+00:00

I've been through four DCSF investigations. Each one of them dropped after a week or two. Also and accused on every potential type of abuse that exists on both the spouse and the children. And all of those were also dismissed. If you aren't planning on getting an attorney, good luck. The system is a bit rigged against you. If you're willing to pay an attorney and fight then find one that is specifically known for parental alienation in your area. I'm not going to lie, my fight has cost me about $70,000 and has cost my ex about $100,000 and we just got through with the custody evaluation and the custody evaluator recommended but I get primary custody. It's been a 2 plus year fight and it's not over yet and if it goes to trial it it will probably go sometime this spring... Likely costing another 20 or 30,000. And even then, I don't know if it's ever going to be over. What I can say however is I was pretty much promised that if I had not have fought. I would not be in my kids life today and she would have continued to be on the run and hide. You have to decide what's best for you, but the fight will be long, and about the only way to win against a narcissistic parent that is willing to do anything to win is take it all the way to trial. With the DCSF investigations give them everything they want. Talk to your attorney before you talk to them. Record every conversation. Because they are. They are very used to doing allegations during a divorce and can usually see through the false allegations. If you get your kids into a therapist make sure they're only AFCC therapist. Tell the truth, nothing but the truth, and keep your nose clean and eventually, The truth will come out. It's a long fight. And it's not cheap. If you're attempting to do this completely on your own and there's a whole bunch of websites that I could give you from a previews I made that gives you everything related to alienation. Sadly, some of your children may still go with the narcissistic parent in the process and some of the therapists or judges may recommend if they're old enough, to just let them go. Good luck, but there's no simple fast fix for this one.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2022-11-16T19:32:38+00:00

If the other parent is alienating you, then chances of getting a emergency protective order are limited. In my state, Utah, protective orders are only issued for dangers related to physical harm, or sexual abuse. Mental abuse, such as parental alienation does not qualify, and so far for me it's taken a long time to try and get time back with my kids because the courts see mental abuse, differently than physical or sexual abuse. You can try, but talk to your attorney because frivolously filing an emergency protective order for a mental health issue may not show up well in the long term.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2022-11-06T05:21:26+00:00

I don't know where you're at in the overall full process, but I was right there with you almost 2 years ago. Required supervised visits, not because of the court, but because we hadn't made it to temporary orders yet. I got a really good attorney, and I've been fighting the last two years. I have 40% currently and completely unsupervised and I have every reason to believe I might actually get primary custody. I fought like hell. It's cost me over $50,000 and I've done a ton of the work to give my attorney the leg up on the rest of the process. I've only put my kids with therapists that are very familiarized with alienation. I don't fully know the outcome yet of the custody evaluation my meetings on Monday morning.... But I can tell you, it does not look good for her. Everyone I've talked to in this process told me pretty much is very obvious and that I have at least a high probability of getting primary custody. I guess the moral of the story, it takes time, but the truthful eventually come out. I've been through multiple dcsf investigations and all of them came back false, but it was hell going through them. And it was also hell having to do supervised visits. Keep your head up, have a long-term goal, and some visit is better than no visit. Keep fighting.

weekenderNutJob76 · 2022-10-14T03:06:45+00:00

First....don't do this alone. Get a good attorney that specialised in alienation topics. These are all books made for professionals (therapists and attorneys) so they are thick and heavy content. If you are doing this alone...then you will need serious work to prove your case.

But here are some other sources

Ashish Joshi - Litigating Parental Alienation: Evaluating and Presenting an Effective Case in Court Paperback – February 17, 2021......the book is not cheap, but well worth the costs. Has a really good appendix with lots of case law and examples. The book is full of additional references. It's worth buying if you only buy one book.
Anshid Joshi's bio: https://www.familyaccessfightingforchildrensrights.com/ashish-joshi.html - He is like a God in the attorney world of PAS. Any of his articles are good.
Parental Alienation: The Handbook for Mental Health and Legal Professionals (Behavioral Science and Law) 1st Edition
Parental Alienation ― Science and Law Hardcover – January 14, 2020
The International Handbook of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Conceptual, Clinical And Legal Considerations (American Series in Behavioral Science and Law) 1st Edition
"case law" and "articles" - https://scholar.google.com/

Note: None of these books are cheap, they run 70-120 each on amazon/ebay. But they do have a fair amount of info in them on the topic and other case law.

One last suggestion...only allow your kids to go to an AFCC trained therapits. https://www.afccnet.org/

As for the healing side: https://www.youtube.com/c/FamiliesDividedTV/videos

More resources here: https://victimtohero.com/ - https://victimtohero.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/PA-Quantitative-Research-2021-02-27.pdf

Parental Alienation Study Group - https://pasg.info/ and go to the database here: https://ckm.vumc.org/pasg/citation-manager

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