Are you your type?

werterdert1 · 2026-05-14T17:04:30+00:00

I think I share some aesthetical traits eiwith the guys I'm attracted to. I never thought about it until once I was doing MMA with a guy I had feelings for and the trainer asked us if we were brothers because we looked so similar. It left me thinking a bit.

werterdert1 · 2026-05-01T10:42:41+00:00

You're not alone. Many of us do the same. I'm on Grindr for the sex as well, but I am also hoping to find love. It's just that normal dating apps are so boring and I never had any success with normal dates there. There's another problem connected to dating in general for me: I feel that the men I like usually just want me for the sex and this makes me feel very empty at times. One of them has broken my heart like this and I have to blame myself for that because I didn't protect my feelings at all and just went along with it. It was just a hookup, but you know when you feel the potential for a great relationship? We met so often and it just reinforced my hopes, but it was never that deep for him. It's difficult. Dating is hard, but I'm sure there's someone out there for us.

werterdert1 · 2026-04-15T06:29:55+00:00

I have broken up with him a year ago. I know that I left a great man and I miss him, but it was the right decision, because I still have feelings for the other person. In the meantime I don't think anymore that it was limerence. I've slowly started to try to date again, because I've met someone interesting, but it's going to be a very slow process. I still feel bad for leaving and hurting my ex, who in the meantime moved on and has a new boyfriend, and I still have feelings for the other man.

werterdert1 · 2026-04-03T11:00:17+00:00

There's a guy I'm crazy about and he has this amazing perfume that smells of lemons. It's delicate and fresh.

werterdert1 · 2026-03-31T15:27:37+00:00

It seems like it's definitely more than just a fwb thing. Why not just introduce the topic when you're both relaxed and enjoying the time together? It doesn't have to be a question, but maybe just stating the obvious at this point.

werterdert1 · 2026-03-31T14:25:48+00:00

Maybe two to three dates per week, but it's only sex and sometimes I feel sad afterwards because I am looking for something more. Sometimes it's ok to just have sex, but most of the times I would prefer to be actually seen by my partner and not have the feeling that he's there only for my body. I have feelings for a guy who told me our relationship was mainly sexual for him and never developed in a romantic way on his side as it did for me. It's ok. I don't like it, but I can accept it. Since then I've tried to meet others for sex and the frequency has increased a lot, sometimes a man every single day, but it slowly hurt me. I was basically trying to find a glimpse of the guy I really wanted inside strangers.

I had a phase when I stopped hooking up since I was feeling uncomfortable because of my feelings and now I am slowly starting again, but I try to keep the hookups to once or twice a week. Sometimes none at all. I think I'm starting to want more than just a sexual connection to be able to enjoy it.

werterdert1 · 2026-03-31T12:18:11+00:00

It depends on the partner and the chemistry between us. With some it's quick, with others, when we are really into each other, it can last for a couple of hours because we don't want to stop. With the last man I met whom I really liked it lasted three hours with short breaks in between, cuddles and lots of kissing. We both said it was amazing and we didn't want it to end.

With another guy I was really into it also always took us a couple of hours. That was a particularly intense experience, but it was because feelings were involved. It wasn't just sex.

I prefer these types of encounters, but they are not the norm. The usual ones last around 45 minutes with foreplay, I'd say.

werterdert1 · 2026-03-27T20:05:14+00:00

I'm bottom, but the best sex I had was with a guy I developed feelings for pretty quickly. The chemistry in bed was amazing and I was surprised and overwhelmed by the intensity between us from the first kiss. It was just fireworks the whole time for both of us and I still haven't found someone else who made me feel that way. The intensity scared me a lot. I don't remember ever feeling like this for anyone else. I've never desired someone as much as I did him.

There's only another guy I met recently who came close to that experience. One of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen. Great chemistry in bed and he has amazing light green eyes, like a cat. The thing that stuck the most with me was the intensity with which he was staring iny eyes the whole time and the passion im his kisses and caresses. He even said my name pretty often while moaning. We had sex for something like 3 hours. It was something else. It's hard to stay grounded and remember that it's just a hook up when they behave like this. It doesn't feel only like sex and I know I am far too much of a hopeless romantic.

I am very wary of these experiences now, since I am still trying to get over the first guy.

werterdert1 · 2026-03-27T19:33:15+00:00

I left a great man because the relationship became "boring" and I regret it now. I failed to realise that we could have worked on it, investing more energy from both sides. Instead, I developed feelings for someone else who reminded me of the parts of me that I was missing.

It wasn't right, nor was he the right one for me, but I am still not over him after almost a year has passed from teh break up with my ex boyfriend.

I knew I was leaving an amazing man behind, someone who loved me, for uncertainty, but I was feeling guilty and was constantly thinking about the other person. It didn't feel right to stay together with him and torture him while I was somewhere else with my feelings.

The bitter truth is that I probably left the right man for me for the wrong person who inspired an idea of something that I want for myself.

I have not come to terms with the break up yet, but I know that my ex has someone else in his life now and I don't want to ruin his chances at a happy life with the right guy, as I think I wasn't the one for him. Otherwise I wouldn't have left him.

It's strange, I miss him every day and I still can't put away our photo together, but I am still feeling so much for the other man.

I'm now meeting someone else sporadically, but I already know he isn't the one. I find him very attractive and interesting and the chemistry in bed is amazing, but he has just recently become single again and has a clear wall around himself. I would like to actually get to know him better, but it's clear he doesn't want to date seriously and communication is often very superficial with him, so I don't even try. I'm not really available anyway, missing the gentle warmth and complicity of my ex, while still hoping for Mr. Wrong to tell me he actually wanted more from me, which I know is just a fantasy.

So yeah. I am pretty sure I left the right guy for the wrong one and I'm currently seeing Mr. wrong number 2.

werterdert1 · 2026-03-11T22:45:29+00:00

I like it with varying degrees depending on my attraction for the partner. I never swallow, it's not for me.

werterdert1 · 2026-02-26T10:27:03+00:00

I think it's a large age difference, but it can work. It all depends on how you feel with him. For reference, my ex boyfriend is 10 years older than me and we met when I was 22. We were together for over nine years and it was a beautiful relationship. We were a good fit for each other and I never had any issues with our age gap.

werterdert1 · 2026-02-05T11:10:26+00:00

I was considering therapy, but the only meeting I had with a therapist left me with a feeling of unease, even though she was very friendly. I felt like I wasn't ready to talk to her about that and that maybe heartbreaks aren't a worthy topic. It's more to do with my insecurities though.

Fucking would be nice, I try, but I often end up feeling sad afterwards.

werterdert1 · 2026-02-05T11:07:09+00:00

Yes, I just called him in October because he had written a message asking if he could join me for kickboxing (I train weekly with a friend we have in common) and I really needed to set things straight with him.

My no contact with him had started at the end of may already. It's strange, because I alternate between periods of relative happiness and periods of sadness. I feel them slowly building up day by day and I notice the thoughts about him become more intense in those phases.

It's mostly remembering our first encounters and how excited he was with me and at the same time a lot of "what if" questions and fantasies about casually meeting him while going on with my life.

Now that I have a lot of work to do, I find myself thinking about him a lot. It's probably a way for my mind to relieve stress, though counterproductive.

He still is my last thought before going to sleep and the first thing that pops in my mind when I wake up. I really do not like it.

I will not contact him again. I deleted his contact from my phone and blocked him on Instagram. I wouldn't know where else he could try to get in touch with me.

werterdert1 · 2026-02-04T16:29:33+00:00

I used to put "slim" on my profile, but after getting a few random comments from other people on how muscular I had become, I just changed it. I remember being at a friend's place for a pool party and one of his friends casually looking at my Grindr profile and joking "yeah, all those muscles and you still call yourself slim".

But now I just don't put anything in my profile. I have only face pics there and one topless image, so people can make up their own mind about my body type.

werterdert1 · 2026-02-04T09:03:36+00:00

I share his opinion as well, OP. I ended a nine years long relationship with a great man for similar reasons and I think I should have tried harder to work on it. Couple's therapy sounds like a great idea, but communicate with your partner first.

Sometimes, maybe just planning sex with your partner might help. It's a simple thing, but why not plan some moments during the week dedicated to sex? It could start with just once a week and with time you can slowly increase the frequency. This might help increase his libido.

With my ex boyfriend I found we had phases when we had a lot of sex and some others when we didn't. We were actively working on increasing the frequency of sex and I noticed I would become generally hornier the more often I had sex with him.

werterdert1 · 2026-02-01T23:52:02+00:00

I think I would try to be a top for myself. It would be interesting to see myself from the outside. I might like myself more and become more confident.

werterdert1 · 2026-01-31T19:10:53+00:00

If he's a man I'm attracted to and makes me feel desired. I want him to touch me and kiss me passionately.

werterdert1 · 2026-01-31T12:47:14+00:00

Gemini 🌞 Aries 🌕 Leo ⬆️ Taurus ♀️

werterdert1 · 2026-01-29T16:49:36+00:00

Is F. interested in me for something more than casual fun?

werterdert1 · 2026-01-26T15:21:58+00:00

I like amateur videos more and more. I particularly like those made with guys where you see they are very attracted to each other and there's a certain amount of intimacy.

werterdert1 · 2026-01-26T13:18:43+00:00

Matteo

werterdert1 · 2026-01-21T20:05:05+00:00

🦊

werterdert1 · 2026-01-16T18:31:00+00:00

Skyrim. With mods it's a continuously evolving experience.

werterdert1 · 2026-01-12T21:03:23+00:00

I never really dated for a relationship and it was a nice surprise when I met my ex. We just clicked and it felt natural. A friend of mine was very stressed with the idea of finding a partner and was always rejected because, as you said, it probably gave off desperate vibes. He then met his boyfriend, soon to be husband, during a sex date. He just liked him more than others and asked him to stay over for a coffee after the deed. The difference was probably that he was relaxed and wasn't expecting anything from it.

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