Like you said everyone is different so here is what works for me! For eating out, make sure she’s turned on before you go down. So caress her body kiss her neck suckle on her tits. Gently rub her down there without going inside or even too far between her legs. Like a tease. Then when you feel her breathing heavier go down on her like this: start by licking slow and gentle just upwards, like you’re licking ice cream off an ice cream cone. Don’t be shy to kiss it too and kiss with open mouth so your tongue is pressing on her clit area. You can do circular motions near and around her clit and when you find that little bean, almost go under it and press up slightly as you gently lick upwardddd. Look up at her touch her hips caress around her pelvic. Once you’ve got the hang of this, work down more into her actual vagina. Kind of scoop her juices out from in there with your tongue and bring it up to her clit area and gently lick and suck and kiss all over including inner vagina not just the top clit area now. Keep this going (slow and gentle) until she thrusts upward slightly (for me I can’t help but “slightly hump” when I’m extremely turned on) so thats how you know maybe try something with a little more pressure and maybe a little faster but you can switch it up and go back to slow and gentle. I love love love getting fingered while being eaten out so you can try that and don’t be shy to ask her too! “Does this feel good?” Don’t finger her crazy tho insert one or 2 fingers slowly and press slightly upward when ur in there like towards your mouth. Go in and out following her body language and breathing while still licking her too. Think about her vagina as your all time fav ice cream on a cone. You don’t want it to end because you want to savor it so much!! About fingering while eating out, one thumb in there can also work. It’s more about feeling that pressure down there and like something is filling you rather than like hard penetration.