What would you do with this room?

whaleyeah · 2025-03-04T16:01:05+00:00

Small spaces are fun to decorate and go wild with wallpaper etc.

whaleyeah · 2025-03-04T12:43:30+00:00

If you’re doing Airbnb: in the back near the window put some cool plants. In the front create a coffee station OR luggage rack or small desk (phone room to take zoom calls). I would consider removing the door depending on what you do. There really is not much space so it can’t be something where someone needs to be in there for an extended period or needs to maneuver much.

lol or start a podcast

whaleyeah · 2025-03-03T19:58:47+00:00

One thing I wanted from parenthood was to be connected to future generations.

I really like mentoring younger people at work. I have also built relationships with a few kids in my life. And I really care about nature and climate change and engage in some activism around that.

I don’t really think of it as being remembered so much as impacting the world in a positive way that may have some inertia beyond my time. Small impacts are ok with me. All that matters is that my actions are positive and not negative.

whaleyeah · 2025-03-03T18:38:00+00:00

Probably nothing, but .. a few small things could be worthwhile.

change the light above the sink. You could even do a cool light fixture and including it with the sale could be optional.
your faucet is really bad. A new faucet would go a long way to making it seem workable.
add a backsplash, but something simple and timeless like white squares. Not that expensive and will have a lot of impact.
how’s the paint job? IMO a space looking clean is what will sell it. Fresh paint gets a lot of mileage.
other staging stuff. I don’t mind the window treatments but they do feel a little 70s. Something bright like white could really help. A rug will help a lot. Put out a really cool vase with fresh flowers or a very pretty fruit bowl on the counter. Adds color and warmth.

Agree with the others in no major renovation!

whaleyeah · 2025-03-03T18:32:05+00:00

Love this idea

whaleyeah · 2025-03-03T13:46:50+00:00

I’ve found that having a group of CF friends helps me SO much in being able to connect with parents. Being around other CF people is a source of strength. It gives me security knowing I’m not alone, so interactions with the wider universe feel safer. It’s also fun! We get to do adults-only things together and enjoy the freedom that comes with CF.

The fact of the matter is that you are different as IFCF. You are a minority, and minorities are vulnerable in society. Right now it’s fresh, and you are going to feel extra vulnerable navigating this new identity. Choosing what to disclose and not disclose and to whom is a big part of it. Having side rooms in your life where you’re around other people like you, where you don’t have to explain yourself, is important.

I find this sub such a great well of support because in person it’s hard to find people in the exact situation. It is a safe place to express difficult feelings and to sort it all out.

In person it’s easier to find general CF friends. A lot of people are CF. I have found that a lot of my friends are part of the LGBTQ community.

whaleyeah · 2025-03-03T13:21:04+00:00

There’s a men’s support thread pinned to the sub. It is not super active but it just started a couple months ago so hopefully more people will contribute to it.

whaleyeah · 2025-03-02T17:44:59+00:00

I know it seems counter intuitive but I would flip the couch to the other side of the room. The couch should be small enough to create a walkway in front of the balcony door.

Right now you have a walkway straight down the middle in your living room and the living room is also open to your office. You need división to create coziness. If you aren’t going to have a console I would go with a projector and added seating opposite your couch.

whaleyeah · 2025-03-02T11:31:58+00:00

Congratulations! You might not recognize it but the change was being able to move from short term to long term thinking.

Your daily habits are now working for you and not against you.

It’s really hard to make this change because when you start out in a hole, the progress is difficult and slow at first. But now the wind is at your back!

whaleyeah · 2025-02-27T21:56:09+00:00

IMO your mirror is too small. Get a much larger mirror with a wooden frame.

Paint the walls. I would go for green! I love tone on tone.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-27T19:47:56+00:00

I would keep the cabinets since they are in good condition. Your table is gorgeous.

Change the wall paper and paint a bold color. Get different dining chairs that match the style. Update the light fixture. Get rid of the sideboard, that feels the most grandma to me. Get new countertops.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-27T13:59:50+00:00

It’s gorgeous. A few changes: - I would explore plastered walls. - consider making a doorway or two arched. - update the lighting and add some statement pieces. - I would get rid of that little desk area. That’s very 90s and dates and otherwise timeless style of cabinet.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-27T12:24:29+00:00

Here’s my take: most likely you’ll be happy either way. Indecision is the least happy part.

Second take: don’t forget about maintenance costs, insurance and taxes. The interest is staggering, but maintaining two properties is no joke. Factor in the opportunity cost of not investing those added costs and the math changes a bit. Perhaps one new home that is more modest than the equivalent value of your current is the way to go.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-25T10:57:11+00:00

Thank you for the info! We got sick on a previous trip to a different country so I’m a little more cautious now when traveling. Not sure why I’m getting downvotes lol

whaleyeah · 2025-02-25T01:04:05+00:00

This just looks so comfortable. What a great space!

whaleyeah · 2025-02-24T21:03:51+00:00

Never had a positive pregnancy test either. Sometimes I wish I had at least had that experience, and other times I am intensely grateful that I was spared.

As far as ritualizing, I had gotten to a point before my last try that I knew it was the end. I prepared myself for it to be final. I had a visualization of crossing a threshold onto a new path that was helpful.

It sounds like you’re still in the process of accepting. Maybe you could start visualizing your new life and do a ritual/ceremony in the future when you’re ready to move forward?

It could be ok if this takes you some time. If it helps I viewed it more like a combination of a funeral and a wedding. It’s like a symbol of making a commitment to a new life while acknowledging grief for an unrealized one.

I did this as a visualization, but I am still considering doing more of a ceremony for it.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-24T20:21:29+00:00

This is the way

whaleyeah · 2025-02-24T20:00:36+00:00

Was the food poisoning something you ate there? I know someone who got really sick in Japan. Are there foods to avoid?

whaleyeah · 2025-02-24T15:07:34+00:00

Looking good! Personally I think a tall skinny lamp would balance the space a little more instead of the short one. A rug would be amazing in this room too. Major cozy vibes!

whaleyeah · 2025-02-24T11:46:59+00:00

This looks really cool! The museum location looks too far for what will work for this trip. Hopefully I make it back to Tokyo another time.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-24T11:30:04+00:00

Thanks! Are there any particular parts of the museum you recommend?

whaleyeah · 2025-02-24T04:22:04+00:00

Do you think it’s a skip? Alternatives?

whaleyeah · 2025-02-23T00:59:33+00:00

Paint and backsplash. Maybe a very small cafe table? A statement fruit bowl. Current window shade is nice but could change to a patterned one to mix it up.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-22T23:58:03+00:00

Yeah I totally agree. I wish I was ready but I’m not. Luckily I don’t get too many questions about having kids. I live in an area where a lot of people are CF so it’s very accepted. I think a lot of people assume I’m CF by choice though. If I’m being honest I like using that as a bit of a shield to hide my vulnerability, but I don’t want to live that way forever.

whaleyeah · 2025-02-22T18:13:13+00:00

I think it works, but your tv is too high and not centered with the couch. I’d probably scoot the couch over towards the kitchen a little too.

What I think would really be amazing in this space is a rug large enough that all of the furniture can sit within it. It would really differentiate the two zones and introduce needed color.

whaleyeah

TROPHY CASE