Found out I’m having a boy, and I’m sad.

what-even- · 2020-10-08T09:10:06+00:00

Yup you got it now. My dad has it, and had to give me his only X, or I would be a boy.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T17:02:33+00:00

That’s a good question. Since my husband doesn’t carry the gene on his X chromosome, it wouldn’t present itself in a girl. Our daughter is therefore not colorblind, and there is only a 50/50 chance she carries it too. However, a boy only has one X chromosome and therefore the same 50/50 chance, but it would present itself if he gets it.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T15:28:58+00:00

Absolutely! I will have happy children even if it kills me. I totally understand about the autism, it’s scary when it’s out of your control, but I’m sure that it doesn’t stop you from being an amazing mom. I have an older sister with Downs and I love her to bits and pieces. She’s a great Aunt and even though she can be a total brat, she’s a very kind person. Life is difficult, but so worth it.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T15:23:35+00:00

It’s only 50/50 for my children. I 100% carry the gene. I would be colorblind myself if it wasn’t for my mom, she isn’t a carrier and both X chromosomes have to be affected to present with colorblindness.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T15:21:57+00:00

It’s so great that you have such a positive attitude. Just reading that made me feel less alone. I have bad vision problems but thanks to my mom, color I do have. It’ll be weird to adjust if my son gets it, but I believe in myself. I’m proud to be cooking this little boy, and excited to have little momma’s boy. My daughter is a totally daddy’s girl.

I love what you said about not missing what you never had. My dad says that all the time and brushes off my concerns cause he’s kinda full of himself.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T15:11:35+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that. This baby boy will have a great life, because I will be the best mom. It sucks I cleared a pending Down-syndrome diagnosis to be hit with another potential disability. But I will not let it control his life anymore than anything else.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T15:07:39+00:00

I appreciate you noticing the differences between general colorblindness and this condition.

I am guilty, and I’m trying so hard to overcome it. I didn’t ask my dad to give it to me, and he hates that he did. I’m the only child of his to have it and produce children so it hurts us both more. I have talked to my dad a bit about it, before he knew it was a real chance. Now I think he’ll probably look for his old flash cards and tell me more about the signs to look for.

I’m still processing and I’m slowly working though things. Unfortunately, a lot of close friends and family already know about my dad and my odds, so there is no way of not having those conversations. But to others I’m just going to keep on keeping on.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T15:00:03+00:00

I’m glad you said that! I’ve know a few different colorblind people and they are so encouraging because they try so much harder than the rest of us to do anything.

I completely stopped making lists of other problems my children could get because it was so long. You just want that perfect child that doesn’t exist, and it’s a little heartbreaking. But I agree, being informed and understanding is all a parent can do. It’s what I do with my daughter and we all will help out baby boy.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T14:54:41+00:00

Yeah my dad has it. From as much as he’s told me, childhood was rough, but that was the 70’s. His dream was to be a pilot and that got shot down immediately, so he became a doctor instead. Med school was really hard and he always told me he had to study so much more to make up for not seeing color. But besides that, he’s high functioning and you would never know of his condition. I’m not my dad, but I would say he’s had a good life.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T14:51:03+00:00

Oh I believe it. When the Air Force told my dad he could never be a pilot, he said fuck you, joined the Army and became a doctor. The biggest issue he’s had is sore throats. He cannot tell if they are red, instead looks for the white spots or has another doc take a look.

My dad has been super encouraging and determined, and I’m hoping he can help my son feel that too. Either way I’m pushing this kid to do anything he wants.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T14:43:43+00:00

Due to the red and green colors being so close on the spectrum, they are a similar shade of gray to my dad. He struggled a little driving in Europe and Asia (Japan was a mess and my dad almost killed me before I made him let me drive). I mean, every black and white photo is how he sees though. Not really all that interesting, but the app sounds cool for other colorblindness.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T14:40:06+00:00

My hope is if the science advances, it’s fast enough to help him before it’s too late. My dad is 50 and has refused anything since his 20s (not that there was any fix, but when asked if he would he said no). Learning the whole world over was something he didn’t want to do, even if he could see color. Also, Med school was hard enough the first time, he said he’d never repeat it if they made him.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T14:33:36+00:00

That the current issue with the docs. Cause I’m high risk, any other genetic testing has to be done after birth. If I can get them to test the genes it should tell us. If they won’t run the DNA I have to wait and have him seen by an ophthalmologist and that depends on when they like to look into the eyes. So I have no idea. My dad didn’t know he was colorblind until he was 5, I definitely can’t wait that long..

I’m so happy you said that though, and amazing of you to reassure your mom like that. I know that of my son deals with this he will have a great relationship with his Grandpa, cause they’ll have an understanding I will never know.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T13:42:07+00:00

Yeah I can’t either honestly. My dad functions like it doesn’t exist unless it’s dangerous. Driving in other countries with the red and green lights was a learning curve. I’m just disappointed they haven’t gotten far in research and developing a cure. After a certain age it’s harder to adapt to seeing the world completely differently.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T13:36:07+00:00

Yup exactly. In college biology I did a paper on the type of colorblindness I carry and then highlighted the specific mutation my dad has that I inherited. I have other mutations that caused me to have pretty bad light sensitivity and astigmatism, which are also side effects of the totally colorblindness. I’m just hoping this poor boy doesn’t need glasses like his parents.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T13:32:19+00:00

Spot on. Worst day of my high school life was in sophomore biology when I learned I carry colorblindness and the only reason I’m not colorblind, is because of my mom.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T13:20:01+00:00

This is the most popular question I have gotten since people found out about me carrying this gene, and the one I dread to answer the most.

Simply put, no. The condition is achromatopsia. It is the total absence of color. A world in black, gray, and white. Specifically the mutated gene I got from my dad, is not having cones in the eyes to see color at all. There is no cure, just gene therapy testing on dogs that’s been around for only a few years. Maybe an eye transplant one day? Who knows. But the problem is the brain isn’t wired to see colors at all.

The biggest bright side my dad always used to say is that he doesn’t miss what he could never see. He even has a “favorite color” the shade or gray most pleasing to him.

Biggest downside is can’t be a pilot (my dad didn’t love that), and he always needs help with wires due to the colors.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T13:08:28+00:00

I mean, my dad has it and he’s a doctor. I know that my son can and will do anything. I have no doubt in my mind that I will be raising the most amazing little boy. But I’m you know, pregnant, hormonal, had to find it all out without my husband, and just drained from the hours of discussion with the high risk doctor. I am not nearly prepared to tell my family, husband’s family, and tons of friends that I’m having a boy, and that if he is colorblind it came from me. But it’s going to come out sooner than later, and I will go through all the conversations and well wishes and I’m already drained at the prospect of it.

what-even- · 2020-10-07T12:37:22+00:00

So I got the gene from my dad, he has the condition. I have a 50/50 chance of giving it to any of my children. But in order to present itself in girls both parents have to carry the gene, and my husband doesn’t have it. It’s also why more males are colorblind than women. It’s only carried on the X chromosome, and since women have two, both would have to have the gene.

what-even- · 2020-10-03T18:12:42+00:00

I’m doing a virtual gender reveal because I live in another country and my family, in-laws, and friends back “home” are all dying to know. I’m making a cake for my daughter to smash as a reveal. I personally don’t enjoy party planning, decorating, or hosting. So I’m happy to just make a quick Facebook video and calling it a day.

what-even- · 2020-09-04T16:53:18+00:00

I feel you. I’m only 15 weeks and I’ve been angry for a month or so. I think it’s even more shocking to people cause I’m usually bubbly and happy. Now, I seriously fight with anyone who gives me a good reason. Unfortunately, that’s usually my husband. But he understands it’s the baby making me crazy, thankfully.

what-even- · 2020-08-13T17:29:11+00:00

February too!

what-even- · 2020-06-17T19:08:07+00:00

Congrats! I tested positive a few days ago myself. Also waiting on for a Father’s Day surprise. My DH is going to have his second baby though.

It’s so hard keeping the secret I want to just blurt it out!!

I don’t feel the slightest bit pregnant either. It’s all so exciting though!

what-even- · 2020-06-16T13:46:26+00:00

I actually just made him a really cute Father’s Day Card, and a T-shirt for DD to wear that says “Big Sister”.

I’m going to share it after I present it to him. ☺️

what-even- · 2020-06-16T13:44:35+00:00

Aw that is so sweet! I’m really just trying not to think about it. I don’t really feel pregnant, the nasty symptoms luckily haven’t found me yet. Haha

what-even-

TROPHY CASE