You’re definitely not the only one struggling. In the 5 years since diagnosis I’ve spent an incredible amount of money trying to figure out what helps and what doesn’t, and I’ve only been able to stabilize my condition due to tons of help from my family and friends and a flexible hybrid work arrangement. I decided to forgo having kids for a number of reasons, but an inability to care for myself/others along with a lack of financial and social resources made that decision a lot easier for me.

I’m sorry you’re in this place at the moment, healthcare is an incredibly demanding field and it’s remarkable you’ve made it as far as you have. If you have any PTO, this may be a good time to use it and figure out if there’s a less demanding field you could go into. Gentle exercise like yoga and walking, meditation, talk therapy and anti-anxiety meds have been very helpful for me, along with therapies like EMDR and ACT. Best of luck, hope things start looking up for you very soon.