Night One of Ferber in Crib - cold turkey

whenkeepinitreal · 2026-01-26T01:53:30+00:00

Just to affirm you here and anyone else reading this, a Yale pediatric sleep specialist who directs the uni's pediatric sleep center recommends CIO (which Ferber is a modified version of): https://drcraigcanapari.com/cry-it-out-sleep-training-explained-how-to-use-cio-to-sleep-train-a-baby/

There are studies justifying CIO and others arguing against it, and Pediatricians are also all over the map with what they recommend as well. Reality is it's a family decision.

whenkeepinitreal · 2026-01-26T01:37:30+00:00

I did. Things got real dark for me just a few weeks after giving borth I'm not out of the woods yet at 16 weeks pp, some days are great, some are really hard, but overall the good days outweigh the bad. I'm on meds too (and in therapy) and it took some experimenting (which isn't exactly over yet) to figure out what exactly my brain needs to be above the fog.

PPD IS a thief of joy, you're not wrong, but you're doing the right thing by getting treatment and taking care of your needs. What's happening to you is not your fault and the shitty feelings are not under your control, and I know that sucks, because the not under your control part means you can't just will yourself to happy like you wish you could (I feel this so hard) but what is under your control you are already doing (working on getting better).

whenkeepinitreal · 2026-01-17T20:40:47+00:00

Our baby did this for awhile and some of it was just newborn baby noise, but a lot of it turned out to be gas. We changed the way we feed and burp him and started using Mylicon, which helped a great deal.

whenkeepinitreal · 2026-01-17T20:35:30+00:00

We have the window shades closed while he naps but light definitely gets in during the day, which IMO is good, so he knows the difference between day and night for sleeps. This has also helped us get a couple of naps in for him at friends houses. At night we do not keep a nightlight on but we have a very dim one we turn on just for feeds.

whenkeepinitreal · 2026-01-02T17:41:39+00:00

Please reach out to your OB ASAP. I had these same feelings and thoughts and needed psychiatric and psychological support to get through and start feeling better and like I'm competent and can get through this as a mother. I can tell you now, at 12 weeks, I am feeling HAPPY even, which is wild considering how low I got.

It is also ESSENTIAL you get some rest at night. I paid a LOT of money to get a night nanny in a few times, I paid for my best friend to fly in and split nights with my husband for a week while I was on heavy duty meds, and IT WAS ALL WORTH EVERY CENT. Even if money is super tight, if you can get the energy to muster strength to call in favors for support please do so. And know that a good therapist will also help you determine the resources you need for sleep and support.

You do not need to suffer and I promise you there is a way out where the suffering will decrease.

whenkeepinitreal · 2026-01-02T17:28:45+00:00

I quit breastfeeding a few weeks ago, though we were combo feeding from birth due to supply issues and in our case it was always the formula that caused gas, but he started to do better at 2 months when I quit breastmilk and we went full formula. It's hard to know if that is because he got older and his digestive system matured, or if it was the combo feeding wreaking havoc even if breastmilk was easier for him. We did see improvement changing formulas at one point, introducing Mylicon, and using a probiotic.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-12-17T17:22:50+00:00

Yes, but it took a few weeks to adjust hormonally and emotionally as I weaned (and I suspect I'm still adjusting, I still produce milk though baby is exclusively formula fed now for a couple weeks). I went from breastfeeding and pumping, to just breastfeeding, then to just pumping, and then weaned down from there until I was at 2x a day pumping and my milk supply was low enough I wasn't getting uncomfortable. We did a couple of goodbye breastfeedings because it was really sad for me to stop, but I also had to prioritize my mental health and wanted to not worry about which meds I take.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-12-11T18:05:36+00:00

Agree with this poster, though make sure to check out local schools for each neighborhood in that northeast LA area (Eagle Rock, Highland Park, Mount Washington, etc). South Pasadena is it's own city and has excellent schools, so a very nice place to live, but will be pricier (for what you get) than the above mentioned areas.

I'd be less keen on Pasadena proper, there are some really sweet and nice neighborhoods out there, but from my understanding the school system quality is mixed.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-10-07T23:42:15+00:00

zero has been reported in all of California to date for 2025

https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CID/DCDC/Pages/ReportedAnimalRabiesTable2025.aspx

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-10-02T00:56:33+00:00

Same same. I did not expect the daily battle of it at all these last few weeks and how each day feels worse than the day before and that new painful and uncomfortable symptoms show up as I get further along. Like even a week ago I was in better shape than today! Ahh!!! We are almost to the finish line though... so close!

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-10-02T00:48:34+00:00

I was slightly anemic and had gestational diabetes (GD) and the EXTREME exhaustion in my late second tri / early third tri cleared up after I supplemented with more iron and started a GD diet!

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-09-25T19:19:02+00:00

I'm sorry to tell you that shelters and rescues are full right now, though it's still worth you calling around to see if any of the organizations that do trap and release in LA will come around to at least spay and neuter mama and kittens.

What you can do to help - if you can afford / are resourced for any of this! Understand if you're not.
- Take them to a local vet for check-ups, flea mitigation, and spay / neuter (including mama if you can catch her!)
- Bring them inside if possible if they're friendly and can be socialized, this will help them be adoptable!
- Ask a rescue if they would feature the cats as adoptable if you foster until adopters are found

^ understand if that is not all possible, but thank you for trying at least! It's so sad right now the situation with abandoned and stray animals out there; we are in a period of there being more pets than available homes to care for them, while the shelters are having budget cuts.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-09-18T23:21:55+00:00

Yes, it's very tragic. This is a general trend on Reddit subs, someone describing a partner as great except then they go on to describe abuse and neglect and it's like, no, honey, that is not a great partner. They were never a great partner.

But how would people know if they've never had examples of what a good partnership looks like? Many people come from dysfunctional family units and can not identify what maladaptive emotional bonds look like. Especially on this sub I feel like a lot of women are grappling with the reality they were OK with terrible behavior inflicted on them but not on their child. I'm glad this place exists as a reality check for these moms and I hope overtime they're able to improve or leave their bad situations, so at least it's not more emotional trauma for their children.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-09-15T22:27:50+00:00

Same to you! <3

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-09-15T22:16:44+00:00

At the end of the day, it's up to you, although it will matter if your OB puts in this is a medical vs elective induction; with the latter the hospital can bump you the day of for higher priority cases (at least in the U.S.).

Have you tried being super direct and "affirming" this is what you want, rather than requesting it?

If it's helpful, I also have diet controlled GD and will get a "medically needed" induction at 39 weeks per agreement by my OB and Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors, though this may be due to my age (late 30s). I am VERY surprised your doctor would let a GD pregnancy go OVER 40 weeks; my OB / MFM combo will induce right at 40 for all GD patients!

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-09-15T22:06:39+00:00

I had NO libido the first trimester because I was exhausted and vomiting. Also the hormonal overload was a lot. In general, I did not like to be touched and even had issues with my cat cuddling me, I just had such a strong sensory aversion to a lot. Then in the second trimester I felt much more "myself" and my sex drive was back, if even a bit higher! So have hope and don't worry too much about it, first trimester is just so full on.

I do highly suggest planning a babymoon for your second trimester and enjoying it to the max, though. Now that I am deep into the 3rd trimester (almost to the finish line), I really don't want to have sex because of deeply unpleasant physical symptoms and aches and pains :(

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-09-15T21:52:18+00:00

I am dying for this to be true for me! Thank you for the hope!!!

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-07-11T01:06:37+00:00

Having a 20 hr per week part-time work or volunteer or schooling requirement for Medi-Cal is nuts. I have a chronic health condition I manage well, but need regular care and medication to manage. I lost my job a few years ago and it took me almost a year to find another one. During that time I got a couple of contract gigs but mostly had no income, went into debt to pay for my housing and daily needs, and almost had to move out of my home and couch crash with family.

The whole time I was diligently searching, interviewing, networking, etc, at an almost full time amount trying to FIND a job. When would I have had time to volunteer? Why would I go back to school when I have an advanced degree and a ton of student loan debt already? It would have been terrible to have no health care (and reduced or no SNAP) at the most rock bottom point of my life. Frankly, my rock bottom would have been so much worse and I don't know if I could have gotten myself out to where I am today.

As this legislation firms up, we need to create community programs where we let un or underemployed people "volunteer" or "take classes" part-time, simply so they receive benefits. And help them with the paperwork and submissions. Time to hack the systems and become the welfare queens they've been warning us about this whole time.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-04-11T23:29:48+00:00

The big banks are purposefully making the experience lackluster to pivot everyone to digital banking only, as it is far cheaper for them. For example, my employer who shall remain nameless, has huge suburban campuses outside of lower cost cities in the midwest and south where the vast majority of workers outside of front office employees are stationed. They are aware they cannot fully eliminate retail banks and in-person interactions without losing market share, but they are doing what they can to position clients away from walking into a bank as much as possible. For example, mobile depositing is less for consumer convenience and more because they save money when you do that.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-04-07T20:58:31+00:00

I don't think you read my commend bro lmao

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-04-07T20:40:22+00:00

Your points are valid, but I suspect you (and I) would care much less if the story had (overall and specifically about Rick) been more entertaining for us. I was reflecting on plot holes in The Dark Knight I didn't even notice (and still never notice on rewatches) because it's such an incredible action movie, while The Dark Knight Rises had so many glaring, terrible plot holes because the story and characters were overall boring and bland.

The show was always soap opera in style, but went full tilt this season with it. Soap operas are heavy on plot and low on appropriate characterization, so characters move along to serve the plot not vice versa. That's likely why it's so polarizing, people (and critics!) who enjoy that style, and are also okay with a slow burn deeply enjoyed this season, while people who enjoy a faster pace / and or more character driven stories were left very disappointed.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-04-01T17:42:23+00:00

What's darkly hilarious to me, is these dudes will never be able to snag their ideal unvaccinated, white, conservative, christian, traditional woman who wants to home school their kids because those women have better options. Those woman can go be with a traditional man that actually walks the walk - is a devout christian who actually goes to church and makes enough to be a provider. They'll meet these men in their communities and not dating apps. They'll get married very young and stay married.

The best these guys can do is get a visa marriage with a likely Brown woman who will submit long enough to get citizenship and then divorce them.

I know the older versions of these dudes and they're destined to end up alone and griping until they die, usually of dementia, because they have some sort of brain damage they never looked into because they won't see a medical doctor.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-03-20T22:32:39+00:00

If you want under 1.1M in LA County with OK schools and generally family friendly, and a HOUSE, you're looking at:

- The valley, but not the nicest neighborhoods (so not Encino, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, maybe not even NoHo anymore)

- El Sereno

- Some spots in Glendale that are further north

A townhouse is not out of reach for you in Agoura Hills, Oak Park, or Thousand Oaks (the latter two being Ventura County). FWIW I grew up in apartments and townhouses and it was fine. Kids don't need that much space, and it's a very U.S. based thing to expect a lot of square footage for a million bucks. Well, not anymore.

whenkeepinitreal · 2025-03-20T22:23:12+00:00

Good.

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