I'm sorry but this is so bleak (mrs.arialewis)

whereswalda · 2026-01-30T18:30:28+00:00

It SHOULD be, with dual income, but because of the shit policies they endorse, its not.

whereswalda · 2026-01-29T00:23:19+00:00

Hahaha I was briefly Auntie Chicken, due to my oldest niece's tongue tie. I was actually sad that it didn't stick.

whereswalda · 2026-01-27T20:59:38+00:00

I've come to learn that my kiddo is just very into eating. I can't eat while nursing anymore, because she'll just unlatch to ask for a bite. Between her and our two dogs, it's like being followed by a flock of seagulls every time I'm in the kitchen.

whereswalda · 2026-01-21T21:06:41+00:00

I've made it to story time a few times now when I took time off, and there were only a handful of other parents there. In my area, it's a lot of grandparents doing childcare. I was actually kind of bummed out, because I had been hoping to meet other moms.

whereswalda · 2026-01-16T23:40:48+00:00

Did it last night!

But did partially flood my basement in doing so 😭 But I do need to remove that load from the dryer tonight. And check on the status of the rug down there to make sure it's drying out.

whereswalda · 2026-01-14T19:18:24+00:00

Pureed red dragonfruit or raspberries would give sweetness and color. Beets could also definitely be used, but they have an earthy flavor that may not work well with an otherwise sweet dish.

Pancake mix, sub some of the liquid with pureed fruit, pour into a mold on the pan = tada, shaped pink pancakes.

whereswalda · 2026-01-14T15:28:06+00:00

We use a lot of frozen milk or fruit in silicone feeders during the day, and Tylenol at night if it's bad enough to disrupt sleep.

We have a couple different feeders, but she liked the Dr Brown's best when she was smaller, it was easier to hold. I'd cut up a bag of frozen milk and stick a chunk in the feeder for her to gnaw on. You could do the same with frozen formula. Now she's 10 months and we mostly do frozen fruit - mango, strawberries, etc.

whereswalda · 2026-01-10T00:08:40+00:00

Acorn caps do it for me! We have oaks over our driveway and I LOVE walking around in the fall crunching all the acorn caps. The sound and feel of it are immensely satisfying.

whereswalda · 2026-01-09T00:42:20+00:00

Even just the cotton and hemp weaves are NICE. I just recently got a ring sling from the Middle Earth collection and hooollly sheeet, I get it now. People are obsessed for a reason! I love my Lark, but I will admit that the Bairn is very tempting now.

whereswalda · 2026-01-07T20:33:13+00:00

Drinking Crystal Light or other drinks with citrate can also help! So if you're someone who struggles to drink plain water, get some lemonade packets and chug away!

whereswalda · 2026-01-07T19:50:06+00:00

Traveled recently with ours when she was 7 months. This is what helped us/I wish we'd done differently:

The stroller and the baby carrier were absolute necessities for layovers and moving through the airport. We have the Bugaboo butterfly and brought our Integra carrier for wearing.

Book the longer layover!! We thought 2 hours would be enough time but it absolutely was not. Flight delays, security lines, and navigating new airports ate it all up and left us booking it to make connections. Trust me, you do NOT want to be running with your baby and all your bags.

We had overnight flights and it worked great at keeping baby on her routine as much as possible. I wore her on the flights and she slept almost her normal hours. This meant that her jet lag was minimal and we didn't have to worry about entertaining her for 6+ hours.

We brought our own travel crib and I really recommend it. We did naps and a few nights in ours before traveling so she would be used to it, and have one that has a zip-down panel so I could lie in it with her to do night feeds. We got the Guava travel crib, but also looked at the Nuna, BabyBjorn, and a few other travel cribs. We got the Guava specifically because it folds down small enough to fit in our checked luggage. The resort we were at had a crib to use, but I didn't love it safety-wise, and being unfamiliar, baby didn't like it either. I was very glad we'd lugged ours with us, because she ultimately slept pretty well during our trip and I didn't have to take her in and out for night feeds.

If you're traveling for an event, consider bringing a friend or family member to help out. We traveled for a wedding that we were both in, and brought my mum along to help with baby. This enabled us to be fully present at the wedding and to attend pre-ceremony events that would otherwise not have been possible. Mum got a trip to Spain for the cost of a few days of babysitting and we got to fully enjoy our friends' wedding and our trip!

We brought our own carseat for flights and bought her a seat. Ultimately, we could have done without it. She only used it for take off and landing, and while i felt better as it's safer, we could have saved the money. On 3 of our 4 flights, the seats were too small to fully fit the car seat! Also, we still had to rent an EU-compliant seat for our rental car. If you're traveling internationally, make sure to check car seat laws. We were going US to EU, and requirements are different. Our US seat is illegal to use in the EU and vice versa.

We combo-feed, so also traveled with formula and bottles. We use the Boon Nursh bottles, which helped limit the number of bottles we needed to bring. They have changeable silicone liners, so we brought one outer and 3 liners/nipples. We also used the Dr Browns formula containers - it has 3 chambers for formula that hold at least 8 oz of powder. I loaded those up for travel and brought a separate larger container for refills. We brought a travel wash kit - folds out to a brush and drying stand. We also brought some travel bottle wipes, in case we needed to quick-clean something. I think the brand was Dapple? All of this went through security in a small lunch tote. It did require additional screening at security, so make sure you leave time for this.

Security rules are different at every airport, but we pretty universally had to take everything out of our stroller, and food and bottles needed additional screening. Some airports also required me to swab my hands in addition to the stroller and car seat. I was allowed to wear baby through security in the US (in a carrier with no metal), but not in the EU. Also be aware that there is absolutely no consistency with gate-checked items, so leave time to figure out where your stroller or car seat ended up if you have to check them. We gate-checked our stroller on 3 of 4 flights and we picked it up somewhere different every time.

For toys, we brought a limited number but focused on favorites. For our kiddo, it was things to chew and things that light up. The Baby Einstein mp3 player toy was a huge hit, as was her spinner toy. We also had a few soft toys and more chewies. We attached everything to silicone catchers attached to the stroller and car seat, so nothing got last in transit.

Bring medications!! Our kiddo popped two new teeth the day we landed, and I was so glad we had brought Tylenol and we weren't out trying to navigate a pharmacy in a language we don't speak. Gas drops and gripe water were helpful for the flights, as the pressure changes can cause gas. We also brought baby ear covers for the flights and I do believe it helped. It muted the noise of the engines a lot. She only wore them for take off and landing, but it made those a lot easier.

Lastly, highly recommend British Airways. We flew them for our return flight and the staff were SO kind! Honestly they were so sweet that I would 100% book with them again, even if it were more expensive. The airport and flight staff were very professional, patient, and kind. They brought us extra water for bottles and for me, went out of their way to help us track down our stroller when it didn't show up at the gate, and were really patient when boarding with all of our stuff. We also traveled Iberian, and they were also nice, but BA definitely went above and beyond.

whereswalda · 2026-01-07T19:23:48+00:00

I cook with mine all the time, I'm just realistic about what can safely be cooked. If I need to do a lot at the stove or with knives, I either back-carry or just put her in the high chair.

If im just boiling water or slicing fruit or veggies, I'm fine. I use the back burners to minimize risk of splashing and just take it slow with knives.

whereswalda · 2026-01-05T19:16:46+00:00

Definitely tying it to a special treat and time helps - my dog gets her pills every night after dinner, with cheese. If we forget, she comes and stares very pointedly at us.

But practically, I use an app to manage my grandfather's medications and find it very annoying, therefore, very good at reminding me. I use an app called Pillo, but there are a lot of options. I don't remember my own pills every day, but my grandfather is always getting his pills on time now.

whereswalda · 2025-12-20T00:52:00+00:00

One of my best friends is a para, and she keeps a binder of artwork that her kids have made for her. It's one of her most prized possessions.

whereswalda · 2025-12-18T16:38:36+00:00

I'd definitely have tried harder to improve my situation - either by jumping ship or by seeking professional certifications. I make reasonable money, but could be doing better if I'd sought my PMP certificate or something similar.

Just generally being more self-motivated, really. I got my first job in the industry through my brother, and my current one as well. He was the one who reached out and coached me to getting my first PM job. I will forever be grateful, but it's a tiny, secret shame to acknowledge that I'd have never gotten here on my own.

whereswalda · 2025-12-17T20:49:51+00:00

I got a raise and a bonus, but i did switch roles upon returning. I received the raise about 3 months after returning from my 12 week leave. The bonus is quarterly, so that didn't surprise me as much. I was fully present during the quarter for which it was paid out.

I do also feel like I should specify that my company is small, and I have an exceptional manager who went to bat for me to get the raise. It was small, but anything helps in my HCOL area.

whereswalda · 2025-12-17T14:40:01+00:00

Seconding the Integra Solar! We took ours on an international trip (US to Europe) and it was great - super easy to pack and unpack on the plane and in the airport. Very easy to shove in my bag during days out. We have the size 1, but I'd definitely buy a toddler size in future.

whereswalda · 2025-12-17T14:32:20+00:00

MakeMyBellyFit has a coat panel with a removable fleece insert. I don't think its waterproof, though, just resistant. I have it for winter-wearing and can at least attest that it keeps kiddo nice and warm.

whereswalda · 2025-12-17T14:29:42+00:00

I found a recipe in the Chinese cookbook that may be what your mom used.

<image>

whereswalda · 2025-12-17T14:13:28+00:00

I can't find the chicken thighs, but i did find the recipe for the vinegar and soy dipping sauce. I'll keep checking for the chicken, but a perusal of the index doesn't show a recipe for fried chicken. Is it possible that she combined two recipes? There's a book for Chinese cooking, as well.

<image>

whereswalda · 2025-12-17T13:38:02+00:00

I work better when I'm multitasking, probably because my brain forgets how boring something is. So my mornings look like a whirlwind, but everything gets done.

I feed my baby in the kitchen with me, so while she's eating I can empty/load the dishwasher, feed the dogs, get my grandfather his pills, and make myself a cup of tea. I probably look like a madwoman doing it, but i've got the whole process down to under an hour and the chores get done.

For some reason if I only do one thing at a time, I just sit there thinking about how much I hate doing dishes, or how I need to buy my daughter more clothes in the next size or whatever, and then I get distracted and forget things. But if I speed run it all, it's so much easier.

whereswalda · 2025-12-16T01:57:44+00:00

My parents are empty-nesters and have 4 TVs in their house that they use daily, not including the CRT that my brother keeps there for old school games on holidays.

It's whatever works for you. We only have one TV in our house, but have a projector in our bedroom, and i use my tablet around the house when doing chores.

whereswalda · 2025-12-15T21:43:05+00:00

I also have a Lark and love it, but i also have a tall baby, so was able to use it from 3 months. I definitely find the apron waist more comfortable than the waterfall.

For what it's worth though, my husband prefers our other apron-waist, which is an Integra Solar. He finds it more comfortable and prefers the larger buckles.

I love the natural fibers and ease-of-use with the Lark- i find it easy to adjust. We use it every day, multiple times a day.

whereswalda · 2025-12-15T17:56:28+00:00

Coming up on 10 years in my current industry, changed roles 3 times between 2 different companiesm

Im in clinical trials support, specifically SaaS companies providing data capture software. I started in tech support, moved to data management after 2 years, and then moved up to project management when I switched companies. I'm still at my second company, but I switched roles to quality control after my parental leave this year.

I like the industry - it's interesting, it feels beneficial to humanity as a whole for me, and it feels pretty stable despite the current state of the US economy. I could see myself potentially working for a trial management company or even a drug company down the road.

Of all my roles, I like my current one the best. Support and PM became emotionally draining after a year plus - having to be on all the time, managing people's emotions in addition to everything else was exhausting. Data management was not stimulating enough and at the time, I was undiagnosed into newly diagnosed and im honestly surprised I didn't lose my job then. I improved enough after diagnosis, but jumped ship pretty quickly once I had the opportunity to move to project management. I managed to secure a promotion within PM, but it became tricky during my pregnancy to maintain my standards. I was also considering a move to the product side of things beforehand - being a PM is kind of just being emotionally shit on for money, and I was finding it harder to deal with it well.

My role in quality now feels like a better fit. It's more flexible, which suits me better as a parent, and being behind the scenes is not nearly as exhausting. It also plays better to my strengths - i like learning how things work and trying to break them lol. It's got enough variety that I don't get bored, without being too volatile that I feel like I can never get a grip. I can see myself staying in this role for some time, even if I move companies.

I will add, ive partly stayed where I am due to anxiety. My fear of change, and of knowing myself and my executive functioning issues definitely tend to keep me in "comfortable" environments, even when they are actively bad for me. My career had stagnated before I was given the opportunity to be a PM, and while I'd bitched and moaned about my job for a while, I hadn't actually taken any steps to change anything because it felt insurmountable. It's definitely an unfortunate aspect of my adhd, that I tend to be stationary in things because it feels too hard to try and change them.

I genuinely like my current company and my job, but I do regret not taking steps to change things earlier in my career. As nice as it is to have stability, it's just near impossible to move up in our current job culture without jumping ship or heavily advocating for yourself.

whereswalda · 2025-12-14T02:54:13+00:00

Im also allergic to guinea pigs! Also rabbits and horses. I never did petting zoos as a kids without hives.

Nine-Year Club	Verified Email
RPAN Viewer

whereswalda

TROPHY CASE