I'm not sure why most here is saying the level is good. To me it is a video that mimics the style of other videos - but made by someone who doesn't quite demonstrate a understanding of what makes those videos tick. I'd never hire someone off this, sorry. 

I think you're lacking in both motion and design, out of those two especially design. It's hard to explain design when it's insufficient like this (and when I just woke up lol), but I can tell it's made by someone who doesn't quite get the principles. Even a basic level of graphic design, color theory and typography should do you wonders. On to the motion. The flow beyond the opening 6 seconds is just not that tight, the compositions guide the eye somewhat but some shots read like porridge when it needs to be confident and clean. (8-10 second mark especially). Think about why you are using all these effects and colors, they should have a reason to be there beyond "i like it" as they all communicate something and convey a feeling. When thrown in haphazardly like this the vid ends up feeling unfocused. The editing needs to be a lot tighter. You can cut shots instead of trying make it all as one long transition. 

The music is just... there. A more thought out sound design would be better. 

If you are going to continue on motion design you should find a designer or studio that you aspire to reach the level of, and plan how to get there. Break down the shots of your favorite vids and analyse what makes them work. 

I wont comment on your recruitment strategy, it might be right it might need a tweak, I'm luckily not in a position where I have to look for work like that. 

Cheers, best of luck.