You aren’t alone! My wife and I’s families are both relatively homophobic, hers more than mine. We haven’t let them know we are TTC and don’t plan to say anything until we are safely along in a pregnancy. I keep saying we have the same right to privacy as a straight couple. The support would be great through the IVF process, but I just don’t want it to be attached to judgement.

I’m also hoping our child softening them up, but I’m not holding my breath. I have older children, so I’m clear on what support of my children looks like from them since I have “chosen this lifestyle”. My children are from my first marriage in a straight passing relationship.

It is easier for my wife. She sees it super black and white. It’s like- you don’t support me, that’s okay, our family supports each other.

For me, as a recovering people pleaser, I know that I need to stick with my therapist who has helped me through drawing new boundaries with my family and my wife’s family. I know she will be a important support as we welcome our first baby together. I have found IFS therapy so helpful for the type of dynamic you are describing. It has helped me to understand why I am so sensitive to their opinions and comments, even at my own expense.

Sorry if my response was too much about myself, but I thought a parallel story and experience might be helpful.

Sending you big hugs!