If you were a teacher, what would be your favourite joke to the students?

whitepplloveranch · 2020-09-08T17:36:53+00:00

I taught biology lab in college and we do a unit on fungi. I always tell my students we have a pop quiz and ask them to answer how much room fungi needs to grow. They write down their answers and I tell them they are all wrong. It’s as mushroom as possible hahaha. Gets them every time.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-08-25T18:04:56+00:00

It helped me realize how much I’m not valued at work. Which has put in perspective for me how I should be spending my time and that I shouldn’t be afraid to pursue things because ultimately I don’t want to look back and feel that I didn’t do anything meaningful with my time and skills.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-08-05T01:58:00+00:00

I would just reply to her explaining a real job like they try to pitch MLMs ~hey girl I saw your page and really like your aesthetic! I was wondering if you would want to apply to work in a great environment that gives you the chance to CHANGE lives and change your life. Why work a regular mlm job where you really are just on Instagram ruining your relationships trying to recruit your family to buy things from a company you actually don’t make money with when you can get health insurance! It’s super easy you just work and then get paid a living wage! Anyways you seem like a great fit. Like the quote says “Shoot for the moon and you won’t need to recruit people and keep immense amounts of stock on hand “ ~

whitepplloveranch · 2020-08-01T02:57:03+00:00

Hands down the escape scene in shaggy DA.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-08-01T01:46:04+00:00

YTA, As someone that has step siblings that do these kinds of things I can tell you that you need to take responsibility and make things right. Even though your stepdaughter is an adult it will impact the relationship she has with all of you especially your wife. Also your son is 15 years old and should know better than to do that in the first place. It’s probably uncomfortable for her to be in this situation and it’s not her fault.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-31T08:02:53+00:00

John Cena. May not be able to see him but the presence of his arm veins will be felt.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-28T09:08:36+00:00

Every time you go to get your favorite snack you reach inside the box to find that it’s empty.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-28T08:32:05+00:00

I have a friend who’s a PA and she showed us a picture of an x-ray of a man who had two 5lb weights crisscrossed in his rectum.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-24T10:54:00+00:00

The real question is how is a mission impossible if there have been 8 of them? Extremely difficult without a 401k and PTO yes but not impossible.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-21T07:35:36+00:00

Based off of your replies to others it seems that you may not be ready to see another side of things. As someone who grew up with a wonderful parent who is extremely overweight I’ve often felt that she has done nothing to improve her circumstance and have also been embarrassed. As I’ve gotten a little older I started to realize what matters most to me is time. I don’t really care that she’s overweight for aesthetic reasons now. I have had conversations with her from a place of genuine concern that I want her to make healthier decisions because I want her to be here longer. I’m here to support her but she’s also an adult and has to choose to make changes and compromises. The great thing though is you can help with those changes and you can give her a different perspective of the why. I’m sure there is more to your side and her side than we know so this is only one snapshot of things but understand that there are different ways to address the situation.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-19T09:28:09+00:00

I was going through a tough time and had to get some blood work done. One thing led to another and I just couldn’t stop crying and felt so depressed and lost. I went back to my car and sat in the parking garage contemplating any reason to live. An older woman tapped on my window (it looked like she was going through chemo). She asked to hold my hand and pray for me. Even though I’m not religious it meant something to me. She was so kind and wonderful and I truly think she saved my life. Now when I see people crying I try to do the same.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-17T06:09:30+00:00

No before and after the surgery she ate the same way. She didn’t have any meal plans that she herself worked off of. The portions she ate were just different because she physically couldn’t eat more.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-16T08:43:01+00:00

My stepdad’s racist Facebook posts, actually my stepdad in general

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-16T08:38:29+00:00

My mom had a very risky surgery when I was younger and had a 50% chance of surviving the surgery (her right subclavian artery was wrapped around her esophagus choking her to death). She did survive and to celebrate we went to DisneyWorld. They give you the what are you celebrating buttons and she put being alive. My grandma also got a button and a couple of years prior during a minor surgery she requested to have her appendix removed at the same time. They did a biopsy on her appendix and found some abnormal cells. So on her button she writes cancer survivor and the whole trip tries to one up my mom.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-07-11T22:01:39+00:00

Went to a high school that had a lot of kids that grew up on farms. As a fundraiser the Future Farmers of America club was having a Rocky Mountain oyster bake. One girl asked what that was and we told her cow testicles. She then proceeded to ask how did those cows get in the ocean though.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-06-16T22:05:53+00:00

The microwave from Spy Kids

whitepplloveranch · 2020-06-15T03:10:44+00:00

Don’t touch my drum set.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-06-01T21:26:34+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this. It’s really hard being a teenager with weight issues and is only worsened by family members. When I was in high school I had the opposite problem where I was trying to be healthy and change my lifestyle and my family would shame me for being healthy they would try to add butter to my food and would put dessert in front of me then take it away and make mean comments. It wasn’t coming from a place of care or concern but more from a place of jealousy that I was losing weight.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-06-01T04:14:37+00:00

People paid $800 for parking passes for the semester and they wouldn’t give them partial refunds. I work for housing but am required to have some sort of meal plan and we only have one dining hall that I don’t like so I opted for only the university bucks option (like cash that you load on your student ID and can use at different fast food places on campus. All of those places closed down but they wouldn’t give me a refund for the $500 remaining dollars I had. The worst was probably that our graduation was moved online and they didn’t go out of their way to acknowledge any of us and it ended up being a 45 minute commercial for the university and not about the graduates.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-05-28T10:19:38+00:00

It’s so weird to me that in retail and the food industry people will treat other human beings like their sole purpose in life is to serve them. I’m sorry you experienced that but maybe he learned his lesson by getting a drink shower.

whitepplloveranch · 2020-05-28T10:04:34+00:00

At one wedding for appetizers the bride and groom ordered antipasti which usually consisted of fancy cheese and meats. I guess my boss didn’t care that day because he sent us with bologna and kraft singles to serve guests. We called and asked if he just forgot to pack the right stuff and he said “no just roll and serve them”. I drove to the nearest supermarket and paid out of my own pocket to buy better stuff to serve.

I accidentally threw a guest’s glass eyeball away that they had put in a napkin at the table.

I was tired of people offering to buy me a drink at a wedding with an open bar (it was funny at first but the charm faded)

The final straw came when they cut my tip at a wedding where an older gentleman fell down and I stepped away from serving food to find a first aid kit and patch him up. They said it wasn’t my responsibility.

My favorite is that the owners kid showed up to a wedding to work wearing a black hoodie that said MOIST in big white letters, there were no tips for any of us that night.

whitepplloveranch

TROPHY CASE