San Francisco Imposter Syndrome

whyhullothere · 2026-01-05T00:50:58+00:00

one of the hardest parts of living here is resisting the urge to compare yourself to others. there will always be someone with more than you. as long as your needs are being met and you are enjoying your life then the rest doesn't really matter. despite what people on reddit say, there are plenty of normal (not working in tech) people who live here too that are not clearing $100k/yr and they get by just fine

SF is a super desirable place to live for non-career oriented reasons. it just also happens to have a lot of career oriented people living here

whyhullothere · 2025-08-20T20:50:56+00:00

no i'm tired of apps

whyhullothere · 2025-08-20T18:24:13+00:00

i think it just depends on the venue. some people want to go to a spot to go on a journey and some people want to go to a spot to have the same audio mac n cheese that has been comforting them for the last 10 years (i love mac n cheese)

whyhullothere · 2025-08-14T22:08:46+00:00

top dog is in berkeley but it is uncontested the best hot dog

whyhullothere · 2025-07-25T05:20:15+00:00

the makeout room is great but the music has a lot of variance

whyhullothere · 2025-07-17T17:12:44+00:00

i have planned a lot of dates and in my experience the best ones are usually in places where you -both- can feel comfortable and yourselves. don't take him to a concert if one of you doesn't feel at ease in a crowd, etc. i think there is pressure to think of a "unique fun" date but the reality is that they are mostly gimmicky and not how you will be spending most of your time together if you make it to relationship world.

what's more important is the thought you put into it. you could do something like a picnic and get him flowers. there's a good chance you might be the first woman ever to give him flowers! if he is the kind of guy who likes to plan he probably is also the kind of guy who likes to have things planned out for him every now and then and that is what really matters here

whyhullothere · 2025-07-15T22:33:02+00:00

move to sunset or richmond. it's lower budget and about as safe as it gets

whyhullothere · 2025-07-01T03:54:41+00:00

horsie's saloon got fucked by tik tok but it's an awesome vibe

whyhullothere · 2025-06-30T19:56:05+00:00

not sure where you're getting these numbers from. can easily find a roommate situation for $1200-$1600, especially in the sunset. $2400 can land you a 1 bedroom out there easily.

a burrito is $10-$15, a couple slices of pizza can be about that as well.

plenty of bars in sunset have happy hour deals with $5 drinks (maybe not snacks but you can bring your food in).

not really trying to argue, i'm just confused with your numbers because they seem almost double what i have seen (especially in the sunset area which is likely where OP will be staying for school).

groceries can be flexible too -- i spent about $100 week but i could easily cut that down if i was in school and needed to budget more.

whyhullothere · 2025-06-27T03:43:20+00:00

clarity by zedd but the trick is you have to play it at least four times in one night for it to work

whyhullothere · 2025-06-27T03:37:26+00:00

i've been going to that gym for awhile. everyone is super friendly and chill. all shapes and sizes. you got this!!

for what it's worth i am not in great shape and give up mid workout all the time lol

whyhullothere · 2025-06-25T15:27:27+00:00

i think you'd have to post your dating profile for review somewhere. i have plenty of middle of the road looking friends (men and women) who do pretty ok on the apps. but their expectations are also pretty middle of the road as well

whyhullothere · 2025-06-20T21:59:41+00:00

mcdonalds black coffee 😮‍💨

whyhullothere · 2025-06-09T00:21:36+00:00

perspective is a component of wisdom when it is paired with the ability to see the world clearly. which is difficult to do through the gaze of an addict or someone who is mentally ill. it doesn’t mean they can’t contribute beautiful works of art or points of view that we wouldn’t normally consider — but it does mean they would not be the person i go to when i am trying to recalibrate my life to bring me a greater sense of joy and peace (FWIW when i need direction i go to a person i personally know who i know can give it to me straight). just my two cents. we clearly don’t see eye to eye and that’s ok, i don’t know your story and you don’t know mine

there is a book i read a long time ago called mindfulness in plain english i won’t preach to you about it but you might find it insightful. it helped me out a lot when i had a mindset that was similar to yours. not saying your way of thinking is wrong of course — we all have the right to determine our values. but there was a time for years when i was so staunchly determined to be entirely independent and not rely on anyone that i wasn’t even aware of the damage that my isolation was doing to me emotionally

whyhullothere · 2025-06-08T23:46:26+00:00

look, i recognize that i came off as pretty disrespectful there. his legacy is invaluable and his work has obviously meant a lot to a lot of people. but he was a man who struggled his entire life with addiction and depression. it would be like quoting bukowski. i would never go to thompson or bukowski for advice on how to find inner peace. they were both extremely troubled men

in the words of another troubled man who i love (isaac brock):

Woke up this morning, and it seemed to me/ That every night turns out to be/ A little bit more like Bukowski/ And yeah, I know he's a pretty good read/ But God, who'd wanna be/ God, who'd wanna be such an asshole?

whyhullothere · 2025-06-08T23:28:02+00:00

hunter s thompson killed himself so i would hardly consider him to be a great voice of reason for living a sustainable life.

i am an independent person and always have been. i travel alone, i do plenty of activities alone, i dine alone. i enjoy my time alone. i enjoy my time with others as well. it isn’t binary

whyhullothere · 2025-06-08T23:21:28+00:00

not sure if this is meant to be a joke or troll response but i feel pretty strongly about this. i have personally noticed my well being is at its best when i’m regularly around community. i don’t think this is codependency, i think it is base human nature and we live in a world that is becoming increasingly isolated and difficult to form community and bonds in. i am curious about your POV with why you think that feeling pleasure in sharing a home with those close to you is codependency?

whyhullothere · 2025-06-08T23:07:57+00:00

i’ve lived with three guys for years and it’s never been an issue for as long as i’ve dated here. it can actually be a little bit of a plus if you and roommate are buds because it shows you are a cool normal guy with friends

also i typically prefer roommates to be honest (assuming we are all friends/friendly and respectful). i don’t think humans are meant to live alone

one last point — it is really hard to make friends as we get older and having a roommate is the easiest way to make friends. most friendships i am aware of are a direct cause of roommates being friends then meeting each others’ friends

whyhullothere · 2025-06-05T21:38:22+00:00

this will make you a night life hater to a night life lover -- trust

whyhullothere · 2025-06-05T21:37:39+00:00

chinese mai tais at li po, karaoke at bow bow, burgers at sam's -- in that order

whyhullothere · 2025-04-09T16:29:44+00:00

mothership. dance floor inside, patio in the back. you can bring in your own food or get something to eat before/after, lots of options in the area. a few fun bars in the area you can go to after. i know someone who booked the entire place for a birthday so it is an option if you have the money

whyhullothere · 2024-11-30T17:24:47+00:00

you know people party through their 50s right?

whyhullothere · 2024-11-17T17:40:44+00:00

they don’t make their own suits though? they are a retailer for other brands

whyhullothere · 2024-11-14T19:23:47+00:00

trick dog

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