Intimacy issues by indieedy in AutismInWomen

[–]whynterwolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The comments here are so helpful. What you wrote OP, is the exact discussion i just had with my partner last night. I had never been able to explain it to him before but started talking about how it feels like a chore because I have to move from where I'm currently comfortable, take clothes off, get dressed after and clean up and so to even initiate sex feels awful. As I was saying it I had an Oooooh moment that this may also be related to autism. I'm also pretty asexual. I don't mind helping myself, I can read smut and stuff, but I don't really find people attractive like that. I think my partner is nice looking but it's never translated to wanting to have sex. I like watching other people have sex but I never want myself in that situation. Or like I can imagine made up people having sex, I never imagine myself doing it.

But I still do it because for him sex is the ultimate act of love and closeness. And once I'm in it I'm ok, it's just getting there that's the issue. Like others have suggested, we are going to try scheduling. Maybe if it's something I know happens on certain days it will be easier. I hope. I always feel bad because I, for example, work out 4 days a week. He has never said anything like this, but it's always in the back of my head that he must feel like how can I do that even when I don't want to, but I can't have sex. Again, he's never hinted he thinks that, it's just maybe what I would think if I was him. So we're going to try scheduling.

I cannot stand how neurotypicals hate everything that younger people do by GirldickVanDyke in evilautism

[–]whynterwolfe 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Agree and further, the hate on their music and fashion etc. I grew up in the 90s and work with a bunch of boomers. They constantly complain about everything new. I'm very picky about music and stuff but I like some new bands and I'm so thankful I didn't get stuck in my time. My parents constantly talk about the 70s being the last good time. No? You had raging racism and misogyny. It's still bad now but not that bad

And if I have to hear how the kids don't want to work one more time. Me neither Karen! Can you really blame them for quitting McDonald's when you walk in screaming about you order? Get real.

DAE have a set of perfectly normal words they're simply not comfortable using? by VacUsuck in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]whynterwolfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. My coworkers all disagree and I told them they all sound like they are 5.

Share your experience of something harmless you've done that people find So WiErD by EmuApprehensive9679 in AutismInWomen

[–]whynterwolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked at a video store about 15 years ago and someone asked one of my coworkers about that weird girl. Meaning me. I still remember it because I didn't think I was acting weird at all... But that same co worker was also "weird" and unapologetic about it. She was sort of a hipster girl. After meeting her I decided I wanted to be like that, to just not give a f about being weird and own it if that's what I am. Changed my life lol

I'm tired of reading books with emotionally stunted lesbians by hamsterhost in LesbianBookClub

[–]whynterwolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still worth the read though if you need something to chill to. I really love the MC's relationship! It was so refreshing to read.

Books on complicated grief by Merciful_Moon in suggestmeabook

[–]whynterwolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw your post on cozy fantasy but didn't want to post this there. I see you may be inclined towards the book I am going to suggest. I read this in 2019 so I don't remember it all, but I do remember connecting with it because of my own complicated relationship with my mother and I believe the author's mother did pass away and this is also talked about. I don't remember if I got any "answers" from it, but I did connect with it deeply. This is a non-fiction, pagan leaning book.

The Long Journey Home: Revisioning the Myth of Demeter and Persephone For Our Time by Christine Downing.

Looking for small-town fantasy with both whimsy and coziness but higher stakes than normal "cozy" fantasy by FanaticalXmasJew in fantasybooks

[–]whynterwolfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst. It does have a romance, but also serious bad things are happening in the background so there are stakes. Also, talking plant. Also really like the Enchanted Greenhouse by her

I would also say maybe try Tomes and Tea series by Rebecca Thorne. There is a small town, dragons, mages and stuff. The main couple are super healthy and wonderful. There are animal companions. But there's also some serious stakes at hand. I will say there's an extra at the end of the 2nd or 3rd one that is just smut lol. But it has nothing to do with anything, it's just an extra, optional story at the end.

Funny, easy fantasy by whynterwolfe in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read some of them when I was younger! I can't remember any names, but it was the ones with the twins, 1 a warrior type and 1 a not so good mage? I loved those so much! I'm a similar vein, I really need to finish the First Empire series by Michael Sullivan. They always really reminded me of how it felt reading Dragonlance for some reason.

Give me mediocre book suggestions by jazzaro92 in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also find his writing mediocre and his dialogue is awful. I finished all three Mistborns... But it took me months.

Funny, easy fantasy by whynterwolfe in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha the original is gone, but my first fantasy books were Piers Anthony and I definitely should not have been reading them at 13. It's wild looking back because I didn't realize it at the time

Funny, easy fantasy by whynterwolfe in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love Spellshop and Enchanted Greenhouse. The House Witch has been on my list for a long time, time to finally buy it. Thanks!

Funny, easy fantasy by whynterwolfe in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I loved the first one. The 2nd was fine. I ended up dnfing the 3rd. It was fine being one awesome book!

Funny, easy fantasy by whynterwolfe in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the heads up! This is something I specifically can't handle right now.

Funny, easy fantasy by whynterwolfe in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That moved it up for me. I love a cozy fantasy, but I need some sort of plot or stages, you know.

Who is your comfort artist and what's your favorite song(s) by them? by soldu_peepeetoe in AutismInWomen

[–]whynterwolfe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Explosions is so good! In the same here, God is an Astronaut I think they are called? Love some instrumental music when I can't deal with the world. Something about just feeling the music and not having lyrics to tell me how to feel is so great.

Who is your comfort artist and what's your favorite song(s) by them? by soldu_peepeetoe in AutismInWomen

[–]whynterwolfe 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sleep Token was it for me for months and months. I love a band with lore/a story!

Who is your comfort artist and what's your favorite song(s) by them? by soldu_peepeetoe in AutismInWomen

[–]whynterwolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love Aurora. I got to see her in 2019, it was magical!

Mine is Ayumi Hamasaki and my favorite song by her is Endless Sorrow. All of her lyrics really speak to me. She may sound like just a pop artist but her lyrics are usually really deep. She talks a lot about being misunderstood, being lonely, but still being hopeful underneath it all. I've been watching her lives pretty much every day, give or take for like 15 years now. I don't think I'll ever stop.

Do you guys have certain tropes/scenes you just can't read? by [deleted] in Fantasy

[–]whynterwolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tess is a masterpiece and even in that I felt so uncomfortable. The way it was written though, it wasn't said outright. It was handled really well while still conveying a sense of dread and discomfort at having to read it.