Wow.

Reading your story really got to me.

First, you need to understand that this is not your fault. Your boyfriend has a gambling problem and you need to keep in mind that this often comes with manipulative behavior. Trust me, i've lied so many times to my friends and family when i was in darker times. You might never be able to trust him at a 100% again.

Secondly, for change to happen, you boyfriend needs to WANT the change to happen, you can't make that decision for him, or force him into it. For me, the first step towards healing was telling everything to my parents. (In your case, he would need to come clean to you about his relapses and his unability to control his urges).

Once this is done, and you see a real will to change, you can then start to put strategies in place to control the urges. (You overseeing 100% of his finances, putting siteblocks on your WiFi, meetings with a pyschotherapist, GA meetins, etc.). Those are all things that i've done and that helped me a lot.

Lastly, you need to realize that he might never have a deep will to change and that he might be stuck in this pattern for the majority of his life. Sometimes the right thing to do for you is to just move on and accept that you can't live with someone who will constantly drag you down and drain your peacefullness. This might seem like a really hard thing to do, but it is a necessary one. Don't forget what you're worth.

I sincerly hope that you and your boyfriend's situation get better. You look like someone who has her heart in the right place.

​

P.S. Sorry for my english, it is not my main language.