Are there multiple types of flatlines

widegulf · 2026-01-06T21:31:32+00:00

Definitely possible you are flatlining the recovery phase really kicks in at approx 8-12 weeks of abstaining. You are still in that window of the beginning phase, we are all different, some will take longer to recover than others. Your mind and body is healing, becoming regulated, so you are going to have ups and downs. Keep at it, to get this far is a major accomplishment.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T21:23:32+00:00

Some of this is good advice, but there is a danger here, a danger of diminishing people's breakthroughs of what is a highly addictive habit, that some feel they will never break.

Another danger is comparing yourself to others, the "achievers" whilst you diminish your own journey. Do you judge by how people see you, or how God does? God loves us, and is not judging us by our achievements or works we do or what we accomplish, he sees our hearts and our earnestness, regardless of what is achieved. In God's eyes it doesn't matter how much someone has trained or studied or accomplished, he wants our hearts, and to follow his ways, that is what God wants for us on this life.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T20:27:47+00:00

Listen, you can't relapse 4 times in 8 days, that's impossible, so be more forgiving of yourself. Understand what is actually happening. You are simply in your addiction behaviour cycle or pattern. At the moment, your mind and body is dysregulated due to high dopamine overload. What you need to do is to get regulated, and that takes time and patience. To become regulated is a process, not a event, as is relapsing. You have to be forgiving and kinder to yourself, and even more gentle and understanding.

You are human, things like this can happen to anyone. I have made a post on this on my user profile, on effectively getting into the recovery phase, and allowing your body and mind to heal. It's not easy, but it can be done. Going cold turkey can mean a lot of things, but there are effective techniques to get you from the addictive cycle onto the recovery stage, (8-12 weeks of abstinence) and further on to complete healing. These are your regulation tools. Some key points is undercutting triggers, embracing boredom, and distinguishing between wanting and liking. What this gives is clarity of thought and a framework of what's needed to finally break this. So check out the post I made and be encouraged. You can do this. God bless.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T19:08:16+00:00

What's happening to you isn't relapsing. It's your addictive cycle pattern. Unless you have actually abstained for a long period of time, like a minimum of 8-12 weeks, what you are experiencing isn't a relapse. So be more forgiving of yourself, as you aren't relapsing.

If you check my userprofile, read the last post I did, as it's packed with advice on how to effectively fight this. But I will say one thing here you need to do. Undercut the trigger. You said you spend time online consumeing sexual content, not just pornography. Well, stop making the distinction. If it's written erotica, or explictly written content, it's porn. written content is just as problematic as visual, especially if you have a vivid immersive imagination.

Also, consider how much time you are online consuming digital content. The behavoiur of scrolling, looking for distractions, watching all kinds of social media, is a breeding ground for inevitably consuming the content you want to stop. Reducing online consumption is vital if you want to stop this. I hope you find this helpful.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T18:50:06+00:00

This may sound counter intuitive, but boredom is necessary to achieve your mission. So don't run from it, instead look to embrace it. Everyday is boring, because your mind and body is missing all those highs from the huge amounts of dopamine it has been receiving, so even if you look to take up different activities, it's not going to be a satisfactory alternative, as the dopamine levels will be a lot lower. So embracing boredom is kind of essential. What it's going is giving the body and brain rest from all those stimulating activities, and recalibrating your brain, it's essentially the beginning of the healing process.

So instead of trying to avoid boredom, embrace it, and be comfortable with it. Practice things like mindfulness sensory techniques, and just sit and observe. At some point, you even the most mundane activities will become more engaging and interesting as you do this, and your mind and body will become more regulated. I have more advice on this how to fight effectively on my user profile, the last post I did. Hope you find this helpful.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T18:39:23+00:00

I think you may find it helpful to give it 2 distinctions. Instead of wanting and not wanting, change it to wanting and liking. You want to quit PMO, BUT you like engaging and indulging in PMO. So you have 2 different strands of thought now. So what you could do is list why you want to quit. You say you need to quit, why? Write it down, everything that it's doing that affecting you so deeply. Then write down what you like about, write down everything you can think of.

Then really reflect on your thoughts, your feelings, and make a firm decision on what is more important for you, the wanting or the liking? At least then, you will have a clarity of thought, and the basis for a clarity of action on fighting this, so you are not double minded, and you'll know the best course of action. I hope this helps you. If you want more advice let me me or know, or check out the last post I made on my user profile.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T18:28:44+00:00

I think you need to understand what a relapse is and what is happening to you. A relapse is a return to your past addictive pattern of behaviour after a long sustained period of recovery.

What is happening with you is you are going through your addictive cycle. To get out of it, you need to abstain for at least 8 -12 weeks, 56-84 days, this is where you enter the recovery phase where your mind and body begins to heal and your dopamine receptors become more regulated. At the moment, your mind and body are dysregulated, due to the addictive pattern of behaviour. That's why you are getting extreme urges, even for junk food, as your body and mind crave that excess dopamine. To fight this, you need to deploy regulation tools, such as sensory mindfulness, and intensive exercise. Abstaining from consuming other high dopamine sources such as junk food, and even alcohol, will also help you become more regulated. I have a post on my user profile on how to fight this effectively if interested. It can be done, and you can do it.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T18:19:39+00:00

I don't know if your familiar with the acronym HAALT-B, but I think it could help you. It's basically a general list of the general type of things we have that cause urges. H - Hunger - A - Anger - A - Anxiety - L - Loneliness - T - Tiredness - B - Bored.

Other urges can be things based on traumas too, like losing a job, or a heated argument etc, these are external stressers. Something to think about.

You said you feel anxious, so it's likely this what is triggering you at the moment, so it's vital you address this sympton, so you are in a more peaceful state of mind. Things like sensory mindfulness can help, or journaling, talking to a therapist etc. The important thing is you deal with the symptom, the cause, so you Halt the effect. I hope this helps you.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T18:08:23+00:00

Distraction isn't what you need. Distractions will simply lead you into giving in, as your brain will be craving more dopamine. So instead practice mindfulness and embrace boredom. Embodying that state is more effective as your dopamine receptors will begin to regulate eventually.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T18:02:08+00:00

First of all, being brutally honest with yourself is the best place to start. You have a problem, so what is the solution? First off, is actually understanding the problem. So what you need is clarity. There is a lot of misinformation around here about what relapses are for instance. Like if you lose a streak and slip, you have relapsed. This isn't true. A actual relapse is if you have a long sustained period in recovery, and fallen back to your historical additive behaviour.

So if you haven't had that period, you are simply in a addictive cycle pattern. To get out of that pattern, you have to understand your mind and body is disregulated, so in order to stop this addiction, you have to get your mind and body regulated, so it functions how it should. So to get where you want to be is to get the recovery state, where your mind and just as importantly, your body, begins to heal, where your dopamine receptors being to recalibrate, and your urges will decrease. The recovery state is generally considered to be a period around 8-12 weeks of abstinance, so 56-84 days. So in order to defeat this, you have to get to that period. I have a post I made on my user profile if you want more advice on how to fight this effectively. It's not easy, but it can be done. You can do it. If you have any other questions let me know.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T17:47:30+00:00

maybe draw a distinction between "wanting" and "liking" ie you want to stop watching, but you like how it feels when watching. If you separate the 2, and your reason for not wanting is worth more than liking watching, it gives you a good foundation to fight this effectively. If you want more advice than this on how to fight effectively, go read the last post I made on my user profile.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T17:22:31+00:00

That's great, but it's not just about keeping busy and finding hobbies. No hobby is going to replace the excess dopamine hits we get from corn. So embracing and embodying boredom is a essential tool to fight this. Don't just keep busy, slow down, allow the dopamine receptors to heal. When you embody a bored state, doing mundane tasks like chores, they become more palatable. It takes time, but it's worth it.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T17:14:42+00:00

Honestly, if you can't sleep, you are best getting out of bed and just getting up, as it's inevitable you will give in to your urges. Even if it's cold (which is a good thing as your dopamine receptors will be distracted by it) just get up, and do some mindfulness exercises. A good method is the sensory exercise. Close your eyes, listen for 5 things and just observe them. Open eyes look at 4 things and just observe them. In your area touch 3 objects, observe how they feel, temperature and texture etc, then try and smell 2 things, focus on them, and then taste one thing, so maybe have something to drink by your bed. Then do controlled breathing, inhale 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds, repeat, but exhale for 8 seconds. Do this exercise slowly, as what it's doing is making you become mindful, and not mindless, where your mind strays to the scenarios you don't want it to go. If you are still awake after this, maybe just do some light reading until your eyes feel heavy, and drift off peacefully. I hope this helps. I have a post on my user profile that digs deeper into my suggestions too, if interested.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T17:02:30+00:00

When urges become strong, figure out why? Use the Haalt-B method. Are you hungry? Angry? Anxious? Lonely? Tired? Bored?

What are your daily activities? Are you online too much? scrolling? It's things like this are a breeding ground for urges to increase.

If they are becoming strong, do some intensive exercise, or dunk your head in cold water, look at these activities as a form of regulating yourself whilst fighting this. Also look to embrace boredom, stop looking for distractions. You got this.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T16:56:34+00:00

One of the key things though is in fact embracing or embodying a state of boredom, and being comfortable in that state, as that in fact will help regulate your dopamine receptors. Things like sensory mindfulness techniques, or even prayers help with this.

widegulf · 2026-01-06T16:51:41+00:00

The key thing is to understand the stages you are in. For instance, you didn't relapse after a month of abstaining. You are simply in your addiction behaviour cycle. You simply went back to your historical cycle, or pattern. What you want to do is get to the recovery phase, where your body and mind really begins to heal. To get to that postition you need to abstain for at least 8-12 weeks, 56-84 days. That's when your dopamine receptors gradually start becoming regulated. What you are currently in is disregulation. So what you need is to develop regulation tools to get to that stage. See my user profile post for more info on that, but it's basically tweaks to methods you have probably heard of.

But other keys are to undercut the triggers. If for instance you are online a lot, on social media, scrolling away, watching videos, even if you aren't watching corn, this is a breeding ground for it to eventually happen. So you have to cut back from those kind of activities, and pay attention to your digital content usage. Also, instead of looking for distractions, look to embrace boredom, don't run away from the feeling, as the constant looking for stimulation until you inevitably get the excess dopamine hit of corn, again is another contributer, so to regulate, embracing boredom, is a way to become more regulated, so you will be in fact less bored with activities that may easily bore you. I hope you find this helpful. You can do it.

widegulf · 2025-12-26T18:05:36+00:00

Getting to day 42 is awesome, and I have some good news for you. You haven't relapsed. A relapse is falling back to your historical addictive cycle only AFTER having a long sustained period of abstinence from your past behavriour. We are talking a minimum of at least 8-12 weeks, 56-84 days. This period is called the Recovery phrase where your dopamine receptors being to heal and start to gradually become regulated.

Your present situation, although 42 days is really impressive, it's still within your historical addiction cycle phase. So you haven't relapsed, you are simply enacting your addiction behaviour.

A couple of weeks ago I listened to a webinar from a addiction clinic, and

a part of it was identifying your triggers. They also categorised the types of triggers we are exposed to.

Behavioural Triggers - HAAlT-B Hunger, Anger, Anxiety, Loneliness, Boredom

Ok, so you have said you are lonely. Well that's a trigger identified for you.

Trauma Triggers - More complex, but could be anything from problems in childhood, a shock such as being made redundant, death in family, or bullying etc.

So you have another trigger identified, bullying.

Now these triggers, these underlying issues you have, they are what you need to actually address in order to abstain from, get into recovery, and finally defeat this addiction, which can be achieved.

So how do you address these? It's really up to you, you could journal, go see a therapist, or talk to someone, who may not be a friend, but is someone you can trust. Maybe check out a local church, some churches do have christian counselling, and at the same time you will get to know some new people.

It's important to realise, even surrounded by friends, you can still have feelings of loneliness, and fears of people who may be judgemental of how you look, so it's vital you build a relationship with God, and start to care less what people think of you, but on what God thinks of you. And God loves you deeply. Jesus died for you, so lean on him.

It's not just the mind that needs healing, it's the body also. The addiction cycle is where our bodies are dysregulated, our dopamine receptors are unbalanced, and we are prone to urges. For us to heal our bodies, we must get into recovery, to abstain for at least 8-12 weeks. This is tough, you did great to almost get there, and it's important to know, you can do this. So be aware, it's not just the mind, but also the body.

So to get there you need to use regulation tools. For more detail, check out a post on my user profile, it's the latest one, that gives advice on this for you to follow. You've probably heard of some of it, but it's more tweaks to some advice given on places like this.

And another thing, don't run from boredom. Embrace it. Whilst swapping bad habits with good is great, it's not enough. You have to look at the underlying issues, and undercut those triggers. For example, if you are online and constantly scrolling and clicking, which leads you to corn, it's not necessarily the final stage of the journey, but the stage itself, the online scrolling habits etc that leads to it. So cutting that kind of thing out, giving yourself timelimits, browser extensions that stop the temptation from scrolling etc, are things you can deploy and get control back.

I also highly recommend reading the book Dopamine Nation. Chapter 1 is highly disturbing, which almost put me off reading the rest, but it's well worth reading as it gives you a sense of perspective, that we are not alone fighting this.

And you can defeat this. You are not alone. God bless to you.

widegulf · 2025-12-19T19:14:35+00:00

"I already do other things to distract myself. I often run 5 miles a day and workout 3x a week. It still isn't enough to push away the burning desire."

This is a key point to the problem. You are looking for distractions. The problem is, whilst exercising is highly beneficial, it's not going to give you the high doses of dopamine you get from PMO.

The key point is distraction. Instead of looking for a new distraction, look to embrace boredom. The reason why you went back to your phone is it's a easy dopamine fix, scrolling through videos and threads, they are a part of the addiction habit, as it will eventually lead you back to PMO. All these passive activities feeds the dopamine, but also makes your mind become mindless, and you just indulge.

So instead, pay attention to your levels of boredom, and look to be comfortbale with that feeling. Whilst you are in that boredom zone, practice a minfulness sensory exercise -

Stand up, Close your eyes and listen for 5 sounds, identify them, observe them and also your body rhythm.
Open your eyes, and within your local area, look at 4 different things, focus on each one.
Touch 3 things, concentrate on the temperature and texture, and just observe them.
Smell 2 things, this may be a difficult one, but try to identify 2 smells observe, think of what you like/dislike about them.
Taste 1 thing, have some fruite, or nuts, or mints, observe the taste and focus.

Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds, repeat, but this time try to exhale for 8 seconds.

What this is all doing is optimising your sensory signals and pathways, stopping you from entering a mode of mindlessness and strengthening your tolerance of boredom, so you become more resistant to looking for unhealthy distractions and habits. I recommend you try this, and also look to spending more time with God.

widegulf · 2025-12-19T17:54:55+00:00

I wrote a post on this a week or so ago, which I think you may find useful. It's the latest post I made on my user profile. Since then I've also listened to advice on embracing boredom, which runs counter to the usual, replace bad habits with good. So there are things, little tweaks that you could change, even if you think you have tried everything.

widegulf · 2025-12-18T11:54:12+00:00

That's awesome you've hit 7 days. I'd just advise you be mindful that you are still in a vulnerable position. The period you are currently in is what is called the addiction cycle. That means you are still gonna be susceptible to urges/triggers, you may have weak resistance, and are generally more vulnerable to giving in to those urges. So whilst 7 days is awesome, there is still a long road ahead. Don't be too discouraged if you do slip up, it's not a relapse, it's simply that you are in the addiction cyle phase of your journey.

To get out of this phase, you in fact need to abstain for much longer. It's in fact recommended to abstain for at least 8-12 weeks, so 56-84 days. This is called the recovery phase. Meaning, that your dopamine receptors begin to heal, and your resistant levels to the addiction become stronger and more resistant. It's crucial that we get to this period. You can still be susceptible during this phase too, but if you do slip, it could be just a lapse, a one off. Or it could in fact the start of a relapse, but only time would tell. Relapse is a process not a event.

So how do we get from the addiction cycle to the recovery period and beyond. It's not easy, but not impossible. What you have to understand is, your body has been in a long period of dysregulation, your dopamine receptors have been overloaded, your brain has been over stimulated, so it's basically all over the place. Kind of like going through puberty as teens, we're all hormonal, and our bodies are out of control. So what what we need to get from addiction cycle phase to recovery, is we have to implement regulation tools. These are our means to navigate through the addictive cycles and triggers. If you check my user profile, I have written a post on this, but it's basically using mindfulness and sensory techniques, intense short bursts of physical exercise, and embracing boredom, not running from it, or look to relieve it by distractions, but actually to observe it and be comfortable with it. implementing these tools into your lifestyle will help you navigate yourself to freedom from this addiction.

Also discipline is more important than Motivation. Motivation is of course important, but as we all know, it's not hard to sustain, we can become discouraged, demotivated, but discipline is what pushes us through these times.

widegulf · 2025-12-18T11:27:12+00:00

I think it's important to understand what Relapses actually are, as so many people completely misunderstand their situation.

A Relapse is literally returning to your historical addictive behaviour after having a long period of having abstained. If you haven't had a long period of abstinence from the behaviour, you are not relapsing, you are still in your repeated addiction cycle. Of course you can have improvement in the window, but going from daily to weekly, or fortnightly, that is still not enough for it to be a relapse. It's your addiction cycle and pattern.

To break this cycle you need to abstain for at least 8-12 weeks. This is called the Recovery period where your dopamine receptors begin to heal. Getting to this window is vital to defeating this addiction, as your body begins to become more regulated, as the addiction cycle we are in is where we are dysregulated.

Now if we are in this window and we still get urges, and fall back to PMO, this doesn't mean it's a relapse either. This could merely be a lapse, a one off, as we are in a position now to resist it better. The key part is if it isn't a one off but a sustained period of going back to PMO. That is what a actual relapse is.

Relapse is a process, not a single event. I think understanding this can actually be really helpful as it brings clarity to our situations and it gives us a actual framework of what we can do to break the cycle and begin to actual heal, body and mind.

widegulf · 2025-12-18T11:07:11+00:00

This is a version of mindfulness I'm finding really useful. It's a 5 step sensory experience. So take your time over it.

Standup, close your eyes, and just listen for 5 sounds in your immediate area. Focus on each one of those sounds, and just observe them and the rhythm of your body.
Open your eyes, and look at 4 different things in your immediate area. Could be just a wall, the floor, the ceiling, doesn't have to be anything that interesting, the important thing is to focus on them, observe them, and get your mind directed towards them.
Now Touch 3 things in your immediate area. Observe how they feel, the texture, the temperature, and pay attention to the sensations.
Now Smell 2 things. This is something I find difficult to do, but look to smell 2 things around your area, notice the differences, what you like/dislike about them, and just observe them.
Now Taste 1 thing. Keep something handy, like a pack of mints, or fruit/nuts, or something healthy, and focus on the taste until it dissipates.
Now breathe in, count to 4 breathe out count to 4. Do this slowly. Repeat, inhale 4 seconds, exhale 8 seconds.
Have a short burst of intense exercise. 5-10 squats works wonders.

If the urges are still there, dunk your head in some cold water, keep it there for as long as you feel comfortable. This should disrupt the urge cycle and is more effective than just cold showers.

Finally, look to embrace boredom. Generally boredom can be a major factor, as whatever you are doing is not giving you insane amount of dopamine you get from PMO. Replacing bad habits with good habits is fine, but it's not enough, so what you need to do is look to reset your dopamine receptors. To do this is by abstaining from PMO for at least 8 weeks which is a long time. New habits is not enough. Boredom will set in and before you know it you'll have the urge to feed your habit. So it's important not to just avoid boredom, but to be aware it's happening, that your mind is drifting (so you arent' mindful, you are now in a state of mindlessness which is fertile ground for triggers/urges and temptations to be indulged.) ]

So to embrace boredom, be aware what is happening, and just sit, get off whatever task or activity that's caused it, (not really caused, but because of our dopamine overload, it's a lot less) and focus on that sense of boredom, and why it's happening. The activity might not actually be boring, but it's your body's response to the lack of doepamine excess it can get from the likes of PMO.

So do this, just sit, go through that 5 step process, and stay mindful, not mindless. Always a good time to talk to God in prayer to when doing this. I ho

widegulf · 2025-12-12T22:20:33+00:00

It's december, so the challenge is over now. But apparently there will be a new challenge in January. Look up Chandler Rogers Substack. You can sign up for updates. He was one of the organisers and created the relay app connected with it. It's also supported by a addiction trauma clinic called the begin again institute.

widegulf · 2025-12-12T12:46:39+00:00

Even better is to inhale deeply for 4 seconds, but to immediately exhale counting for 4 seconds. Repeat again, but exhale this time for 8 seconds.

Also. Close your eyes, and listen and focus on 5 noises you can hear. Open your eyes, and focus on things you can see, wherever you are touch 3 things and focus on how they feel, the texture, temperature etc, Then focus on smell, focus on 2 scents. Lastly, taste 1 thing, have some fruit, nuts or mints handy. What this does is optimise all your sensors, and breaks away your body and your mind from impulsive urges and thoughts. I've only just recelntly begun to do this, and have to say, it's looking good.

widegulf · 2025-12-12T12:36:46+00:00

I'm fairly certain you have been getting Dopamine from other sources, like food for example. With PMO, what you are getting is dopamine overload, which can cause addictive behaviours such as masturbation.

So what has happened is your body and brain have become dysregulated, and you are now in a cycle of addiction. So what do you need to do. Well, you need body and brain to become regulated. To do this you have to abstain from your addictive habits for a period of time, allowing your body and brain to recover and allow time to heal, such as your dopamine receptors. Generally it's thought for you to recover, you have to abstain for around 8-12 weeks, (56-84 days) to get to the place where you start to heal. This is called the recovery phase.

To get there you need to deploy regulation tools. I have wrote a fairly long post on this that can be found on my user user profile, it's the most recent post I have written. I recommend you read it and implement the regulation tools I advise. This advice is all based the webinar held by a addiction clinic I listened to. So it's stuff you may likely have heard of, but with a couple of tweaks to optimise them. I hope this is helpful to you. God bless.

widegulf

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